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Hey look at that it’s my first thread, hopefully it will be a fun read, I certainly feel better now that I have typed it.
For a little background I work at the recreation desk for a timeshare in Williamsburg, Va
Always with the weather
This is a daily occurrence, mostly over the phone:
SC: What is the weather going to be like on X date (usually within the next two weeks)? I'm trying to plan my week.
Me: Well I really can't give you specifics since April/May/June tend to fluxuate a lot, but it should be averaging around 80*F.
SC: But I want to plan my weeeeeeeek!
Me: Most days should be sunny and as I said around 80* but I'd wait until you are here to make any specific plans since the weather is really hard to predict.
(side note: there are very few things around that you would need to make reservations more than a day in advance)
SC:BUUUUUT I want to plan my WEEEEEEEK!!!! *rabblerabblerabble*
The joy of hot tubs
Fact 1: You're not sixteen, I know this, you know this, and you know I know this.
Fact 2: You must be 16 to use the hot tubs, again we all know that we all know this.
So then why must we play this little game where you try to get out of the hot tub every time you think I'm going into the pool room? Also if you are going to play this game you have already given up the excuse that you "didn't know that was the rule" because if you didn't know then you wouldn't be hiding. Do it again and I will not let you back in the pool. Your friends, however, told you that you were being stupid and did not join in your antics so yeah, you're the only one getting kicked out, have fun sitting around by yourself while they have fun in the pool
I cannot contol the wildlife
No I will not scold the goose for "being mean to your child" even if scolding would do any good, the poor bird did nothing wrong. Your little angel was trying to catch it's baby, geese don't like this and your child is lucky he only got hissed at.
On a related note: I will not catch baby geese for you child to pet, as much as I would love to play around with goslings all day it wouldn't be worth being attacked by their parents, that and you all would bitch at me for not putting them down and washing my hands before handing you towels.
Also that thing you heard last night was an owl, I will not tell it to "stop making that terrifying noise that sounded like a demon" It was a barn owl, not a screech owl, you're in "the country" now, man up.
Shit happens
Thankfully when it does I'm not the one who has to deal with it, but seriously guests can get creative. In fact we are no longer allowed to have toilets with lids because we had too many problems with guest putting the lids down before relieving themselves
The pool is closed
There are three reasons why the pool may be closed and guests always have a problem with it being closed.
Reason 1: It is time for the building to be locked up. There are signs everywhere with the hours (but you wouldn't be bothered to read those, now would you). I also told you when I gave you towels (but you don't listen when I say your little baby can't use the hot tub so why should you pay attention to this). We aren't being mean, and we aren't doing this because we want your child to be mad at you (side note: why is your toddler still up at 10?), we just want to be able to do our jobs and go home, if you all wouldn't make such a mess we could keep this place open later but nope that would require you to be helpful.
Reason 2: There is thunder and/or lightning. Yes it is an indoor pool, it still has to be closed by state law. No, I'm not breaking the law for you. I don't care if "nobody will know."
Reason 3: The pool needs to be cleaned. Thanks for informing us that we are "stupid jackasses" for scheduling a pool cleaning in the middle of the afternoon, because clearly we would schedule something like that. It is never because somebody pooped or vomited in the pool, but clearly because we are evil and, as always, we want to anger your child
.
I am not the concierge
Please go to them. They want to talk to you, really they do. They are paid to tell you everything that you can do around the area (well okay so they are paid to get you to go over for a timeshare presentation but usually they do that by being so nice that you feel bad for saying no, that or lulling you into a false sense of security and then getting you to say yes without realizing what you are saying yes to). Yes I can give you some very basic directions and yes I can tell you what is the best place to eat X type of food but I will not make reservations for you and I do not know their full menu, I will not plan your trip for you, I will not get you tickets to shows. I'm sorry that this saddens your child, though I'm really not sure how as the cute little bugger just keeps saying "mommy lets go to the POOOOOOL!!!"
Well that got rather long. There is more but I think I’ll cut it short for now.
For a little background I work at the recreation desk for a timeshare in Williamsburg, Va
Always with the weather
This is a daily occurrence, mostly over the phone:
SC: What is the weather going to be like on X date (usually within the next two weeks)? I'm trying to plan my week.
Me: Well I really can't give you specifics since April/May/June tend to fluxuate a lot, but it should be averaging around 80*F.
SC: But I want to plan my weeeeeeeek!
Me: Most days should be sunny and as I said around 80* but I'd wait until you are here to make any specific plans since the weather is really hard to predict.
(side note: there are very few things around that you would need to make reservations more than a day in advance)
SC:BUUUUUT I want to plan my WEEEEEEEK!!!! *rabblerabblerabble*
The joy of hot tubs
Fact 1: You're not sixteen, I know this, you know this, and you know I know this.
Fact 2: You must be 16 to use the hot tubs, again we all know that we all know this.
So then why must we play this little game where you try to get out of the hot tub every time you think I'm going into the pool room? Also if you are going to play this game you have already given up the excuse that you "didn't know that was the rule" because if you didn't know then you wouldn't be hiding. Do it again and I will not let you back in the pool. Your friends, however, told you that you were being stupid and did not join in your antics so yeah, you're the only one getting kicked out, have fun sitting around by yourself while they have fun in the pool
I cannot contol the wildlife
No I will not scold the goose for "being mean to your child" even if scolding would do any good, the poor bird did nothing wrong. Your little angel was trying to catch it's baby, geese don't like this and your child is lucky he only got hissed at.
On a related note: I will not catch baby geese for you child to pet, as much as I would love to play around with goslings all day it wouldn't be worth being attacked by their parents, that and you all would bitch at me for not putting them down and washing my hands before handing you towels.
Also that thing you heard last night was an owl, I will not tell it to "stop making that terrifying noise that sounded like a demon" It was a barn owl, not a screech owl, you're in "the country" now, man up.
Shit happens
Thankfully when it does I'm not the one who has to deal with it, but seriously guests can get creative. In fact we are no longer allowed to have toilets with lids because we had too many problems with guest putting the lids down before relieving themselves
The pool is closed
There are three reasons why the pool may be closed and guests always have a problem with it being closed.
Reason 1: It is time for the building to be locked up. There are signs everywhere with the hours (but you wouldn't be bothered to read those, now would you). I also told you when I gave you towels (but you don't listen when I say your little baby can't use the hot tub so why should you pay attention to this). We aren't being mean, and we aren't doing this because we want your child to be mad at you (side note: why is your toddler still up at 10?), we just want to be able to do our jobs and go home, if you all wouldn't make such a mess we could keep this place open later but nope that would require you to be helpful.
Reason 2: There is thunder and/or lightning. Yes it is an indoor pool, it still has to be closed by state law. No, I'm not breaking the law for you. I don't care if "nobody will know."
Reason 3: The pool needs to be cleaned. Thanks for informing us that we are "stupid jackasses" for scheduling a pool cleaning in the middle of the afternoon, because clearly we would schedule something like that. It is never because somebody pooped or vomited in the pool, but clearly because we are evil and, as always, we want to anger your child
.I am not the concierge
Please go to them. They want to talk to you, really they do. They are paid to tell you everything that you can do around the area (well okay so they are paid to get you to go over for a timeshare presentation but usually they do that by being so nice that you feel bad for saying no, that or lulling you into a false sense of security and then getting you to say yes without realizing what you are saying yes to). Yes I can give you some very basic directions and yes I can tell you what is the best place to eat X type of food but I will not make reservations for you and I do not know their full menu, I will not plan your trip for you, I will not get you tickets to shows. I'm sorry that this saddens your child, though I'm really not sure how as the cute little bugger just keeps saying "mommy lets go to the POOOOOOL!!!"
Well that got rather long. There is more but I think I’ll cut it short for now.
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