It's back! Real SCs of Genius part 2!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

...real SCs of genius...

Today, we salute you, Mr. super annoying door handle shaker

...Mr. Super annoying door handle shaker...

The lights are off. The gates are shut, yet for some unknown reason you do not realize we are, in fact/ closed.

...I just need to buy one thing...

So with a mighty show of herculean strength, you shake the door handles as hard as you can, believing maybe...just maybe, they'll open.

....let me IN!...

But no, they don't open. You peer inside and finally realize, that no, you're not going to get your precious items tonight and are left with no choice but to come back tomorrow.

...Mr. Super annoying door handle shaker...

[Seraph]

Darnit, I just spent the past three minutes looking for a button to "like" this post.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Ah, Real American Heroes parody of a parody. I miss KZ106 (Radio station that did the parody back in TN).

*Snickers*

[Evil Queen]

Has this been recorded yet??

[Mr Hero]

I've seen that complaint come up from time to time, but I'm wondering if any of it had anything to do with Galaxy 2's release. Since it's on a Sunday and you close early on Sundays.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I've seen that complaint come up from time to time, but I'm wondering if any of it had anything to do with Galaxy 2's release. Since it's on a Sunday and you close early on Sundays.

No it's actually a pretty common occurrence most nights after close. There's always one or two idiots that decide to shake on the doors.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

We had a talented one of those Tuesday. She went into the garden center (which is not fenced in or locked up in any way after hours), selected some plants, went to the side entrance, and managed to tug on the door handle without setting down any of the three or so plants she had selected.

Sorry lady, not open yet. Try again at 8.

[derangedperson]

derangedperson presents...Real SC's Of Genius.

Real SC's Of Genius!

Today we salute you, Miss Angry Failing Student Mother.

Miss Angry Failing Student Mother!

When your kid comes home with straight F's, you reason this can't possibly be right--if anything, it's the teacher's fault.

Where'd you get your degree?

Though the teacher may give perfectly reasonable explanations for his failing grades, your yelling all but drowns them out.

CHANGE HIS GRAAAAAAAADES!

The problems could result from his failure to study or his failure to stay awake in class...things you've been told about in the past, but failed to correct.

I'm a member of the board!

So crack open an ice-cold glass of Shut The Fuck Up, Empress of the Excuse, because it's not their fault--it's your kid's fault.

Miss Angry Failing Student Mother!

Straight from the mind of derangedperson, West Bend, WI.

[ZedOmega]

...oy, I just had one of my own.

Real SCs of Genius...

Today we salute you, Mr. Closing Time Crowd Member.

Mr. Closing Time Crowd Member!

Turning the lights on and telling everyone to go home is no reason to stop your conversation.

And get this, he's in his shorts then!

Even when security takes the beer out of your hand, your buddies' stories come first.

You gotta hear this...

So head home with your buddies, and know that you're in a very special group.

Real SC of Genius!

[Red_Dazes]

Darnit, I just spent the past three minutes looking for a button to "like" this post.

....You are not alone. Then I wanted to cry.

[tropicsgoddess]

Tropicsgoddess presents real SC's of Genius...

Real SC's of Genius...


Today we salute you Mr. I Demand My Service On But I Didn't Pay


Mr. I Want Service On But I Didn't Pay


You demand your services to be on but your account is past due...

I want something for nothing!


You call after hours and demand your service to be on

I want it NOOOOOOWWWW!!!!


But you realize your inane request has fallen on deaf and apathetic ears.

I'm a good customer!!

So hand over the check and call during normal hours and just maybe you'll have your service reconnected today.

Mr. I Want Service On But I Didn't Pay

[Jay 2K Winger]

Customers Suck presents... Real SCs of Genius.

Reeeeal SCs of Geeeeniuuuus...

Today we salute you, Mister Unassembled Merchandise Returner.

Mister Unassembled Merchandise Returner!

People buy big items all the time. But you didn't realize that you have to put it together yourself.

Some assembly required!

"Tab A goes into Slot B." These and other simple directions are too complex for you to handle.

And it's printed in Swahili!

Rather than rack your primitive brain cells any further, you brought the whole mess right back to the store.

And you left the box at home!

So crack open a nice cold can of SuckCola, O Duke of Defeat, because when you get home, you'll have whiny kids to deal with.

Mister Unassembled Merchandise Returner!

Customers Suck, check it out on the Internet.

[Jester]

...real SCs of genius...

Today, we salute you, Ms. Drunken Wacko Uttering Nonsensical Shit.

...Ms. Drunken Wacko Uttering Nonsensical Shit...

People are enjoying their drinks. Discussing life. Loving the tropics. But that doesn't phase you, as you spout off about the most random subjects on the planet.

...Thank goodness you saved that gold coin....

So with a bizarre stream of words that together couldn't form a coherent thought if you paid them and provided them with instructions, a script, and a diagram, you alienate the entire bar, uniting them in prayer...prayer that you leave. Soon.

....Get her the fuck out of here...

But you don't leave. You stay. Acting stranger than a barfly drunk on a two week benders, talking to people that only you see, and about topics only you understand. Like how it's best to hide all your money. And traveling across the country in two days. And how your college is the only one worth going to, making me embarrassed in the process since it's my college too.*

...Ms Wacko, when are you going to get the fuck out????

And now my coworker is begging me to get you out of here, but I have no idea how.

...Won't you just fucking leave?

You are truly the Queen of the deranged.

...Ms. Drunken Wacko Uttering Nonsensical Shit...




*This actually happened today. All of it. Sometimes you just can't make shit up.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

real SCs of genius...

Today, we salute you, Mr. giant douche with a cellphone.

...Mr. Giant douche with a cell phone...

You see me near you, you can tell my lips are moving but you ignore me as if I am a giant insect...

...can't you see I'm busy!...

And then when you get up to the register, you are still talking on the freaking phone and outright refuse to hang it up.

[i]...it's an important call!...[/img]

You annoy me so much, I wish I could shove that Iphone somewhere that would be extremely painful...forever.

...Mr. Giant douche with a cell phone...

[XCashier]

...real SCs of genius...

Today, we salute you, Mr. Repeats-The-Question-Over-And-Over

...Mr. Repeats-The-Question-Over-And-Over...

You asked me if I had a list of people who could do your project, and I told you I didn't. But you wouldn't believe me.

...Are you sure?...

You insisted our sister store in Neighboring City gave you the number of one, even though we have a company-wide policy of not doing so. Now you won't believe that we don't have a list.

....Are you really sure?...

So you ask me seven times if I'm sure I don't know of any. As if I'm just keeping the information from you just to be a meanie.

....Are you really, really, really sure?...

So crack open a phone book and look up the information yourself, Mr. Repeats-The-Question-Over-And-Over.

...Mr. Repeats-The-Question-Over-And-Over...