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Um... No. That's THEIR return policy. Not ours.

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  • Um... No. That's THEIR return policy. Not ours.

    So. I work with Cell Phones in the world's most ubiquitous chain store (pretty sure it's the most anyway). Those magical devices that are slowly becoming more like the Swiss Army knife of technology. (note to self: put a corkscrew on a phone, see if it sells)

    And our return policy is pretty clear: If you want to return the phone you bought from us, you have to, without exception, bring back EVERYTHING we sent home with you. Including the box (with all accessories), contract, and receipt. And you have 14 days to do so (for two carriers anyway, the other one that's in my store is 30. Whatever). We even have you sign 2 copies of that return policy, one for us, one for you.

    So this guy comes in, and I'm sorry, but I could barely understand him. I tried. I did. But I'm just not bilingual yet in any language that counts.

    SC: I want to return this phone.

    Now, the phone he's showing me is completely dilapidated. It's clearly been through the ringer, probably the washing machine too. And it's SO more than 14 days old. H'oh boy. I really hate having to break the bad news, I DO want to help people most of the time.

    Me: Alright... So do you have the contract, the receipt, and the box?

    Of course you don't. You're standing here, no cart, no shopping bag, just your messed up phone and an accent so thick I need a machete to hack through it.

    SC: I called [carrier], they said I just had to give the phone to you.

    Me: No sir. I'm sorry, but our return policy--

    SC: No. You're going to give me a new phone.

    Me: I'm sorry sir, I can't do that.

    SC: Why?

    Me: Because in order to process a phone return, I have to have the contract, the receipt, and everything the phone came with.

    SC: But [carrier] said I just had to bring the phone in.

    Me: They were probably telling you the policy for their corporate stores. Our return policy is different.

    SC: So you're lying to me.

    Me: *um... what?* No sir. But our return policies are different. If you were to come back with the contract and box at least, we can pull the receipt from the computer.

    SC: You don't need that stuff!

    At this point he starts shouting something that I can't decide if it was English or not.

    SC: Do you want me to call [carrier] and have them tell you?

    Me: Sir, that won't make a difference, I can't change our return policy, if you like, I can have my manager explain it better.

    SC: No. You're lying. I'm going to call my social worker and have you fired!

    Me: *uh... what the hell?* Alright sir.

    SC: *points at me* You're gonna be fired!

    At this point he walked away, and we all had a good laugh about it.

    Me:

    And no. I wasn't fired. Never even heard word one about it.

    So in short: When I tell you what MY return policy is, don't quote me a different company's.
    Follow me on Twitter! I tweet about Retail stuff. Or look for #customerssuck Also D&D and general nerdiness.

  • #2
    Quoth Rugsrat View Post
    SC: No. You're lying. I'm going to call my social worker and have you fired!
    ...his magical social worker who secretly makes the hiring/firing decisions for all the companies with which he's done business?
    Last edited by alowlypotato; 06-04-2010, 02:14 AM. Reason: typo!

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    • #3
      Quoth Rugsrat View Post
      Those magical devices that are slowly becoming more like the Swiss Army knife of technology. (note to self: put a corkscrew on a phone, see if it sells)
      Sales Pitch: The handy-dandy Rugsrat cellphone has revolutionized drunk-dialing! No more hunting for your corkscrew to open another bottle and trying to shriek at your ex at the same time... with the all-in-one corkscrew cell phone you can streamline your areas of abuse into one simple action!
      Call within 15 minutes and receive a free pair of pants, the only price is your self-respect! *Automated audience applause*
      Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

      Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Mishi View Post
        Sales Pitch: The handy-dandy Rugsrat cellphone has revolutionized drunk-dialing! No more hunting for your corkscrew to open another bottle and trying to shriek at your ex at the same time... with the all-in-one corkscrew cell phone you can streamline your areas of abuse into one simple action!
        Call within 15 minutes and receive a free pair of pants, the only price is your self-respect! *Automated audience applause*
        That's scarily close to the sales pitch that immediately came to me when I thought it up. Are you in my brain?
        Follow me on Twitter! I tweet about Retail stuff. Or look for #customerssuck Also D&D and general nerdiness.

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        • #5
          Quoth Rugsrat View Post
          That's scarily close to the sales pitch that immediately came to me when I thought it up. Are you in my brain?
          Rugsrat, you may want to take a census of your brain squirrels... maybe one escaped?
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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          • #6
            I was rather hoping that I was in my own brain, but I am feeling a little squirelly today. *Grabs another dollop of Nutella*
            Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

            Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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            • #7
              Part of me's wondering why the guy didn't just ask where the nearest carrier's outlet was. The other part of me saw that bit about the corkscrew and wants it replaced with a bottle opener so one of the new bartenders could be of some use while she texts her shift away...
              My other car is a Mackinaw.

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              • #8
                Quoth Mishi View Post
                Sales Pitch: The handy-dandy Rugsrat cellphone has revolutionized drunk-dialing! No more hunting for your corkscrew to open another bottle and trying to shriek at your ex at the same time... with the all-in-one corkscrew cell phone you can streamline your areas of abuse into one simple action!
                Call within 15 minutes and receive a free pair of pants, the only price is your self-respect! *Automated audience applause*
                Can I just buy the pants?

                Quoth Mishi View Post
                I was rather hoping that I was in my own brain, but I am feeling a little squirelly today. *Grabs another dollop of Nutella*
                Squirrel!!! *stares intently* (I hope I don't have to wear the cone-of-shame for this...)
                Don't just do something...sit there!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Mishi View Post
                  Sales Pitch: The handy-dandy Rugsrat cellphone has revolutionized drunk-dialing! No more hunting for your corkscrew to open another bottle and trying to shriek at your ex at the same time... with the all-in-one corkscrew cell phone you can streamline your areas of abuse into one simple action!
                  Call within 15 minutes and receive a free pair of pants, the only price is your self-respect! *Automated audience applause*
                  are the pants pink and camo?
                  "You can only try so hard to look like you are working before actually doing your work seems easy in comparison" -My Boss

                  CW: So what exactly do you do in retentions?
                  Me: ummm, I ....retent stuff?

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                  • #10
                    if you can't rig the corkscrew, replace it with a bottlecap opener.

                    ah, threatened with some other totally unrelated entity; i'm waiting for them to use a threat concerning a mothership or extra-dimensional beings.
                    look! it's ghengis khan!
                    Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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