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OK, some have asked me if I truly don't get sucky deaf users since my posts seem to be predominently about the hearing user. I will confess there is two reasons for this, the first (and more important reason) is that there is a lot more confidentiallity concerns about the interaction between the deaf users and me than there is between the hearing user and me. The second one is that most of the problems are pet peeves, not so much a blatant example of suck.
So, since it has been requested, here are my SC deaf users, in the form of instructional manual
Rule 1: Don't be so fracking lazy. It takes to keystrokes and 1 second to respond "no" to the question "would you like to place another call". I know that you know that we will disconnect after three minutes of inactivity anyway, but that is three minutes that someone else may potentially have to wait because you can't be arsed to type a two letter word.
Rule 2: Smiley's rule of diminishing returns- As a rule, the success rate for getting someone to pick up on a redial is 1 out of 10 for the first redial, 1 out of 100 for the second, 1 out of 1000 for the third, and so on. I have never had someone pick up after a 5th redial... so please for the love of all things holy, stop asking for repeated redials, THEY WILL NOT WORK!
Rule 3: The answer to a yes or no question is, will you believe it, either yes or no. If I ask "would you like to leave a message" the correct answer is not "555-555-5555", the correct way to say that is no, I will disconnect the call and ask if you would like to place another call, in which time it is appropriate to give me another phone number. It takes two keystrokes and adds 15 seconds to the call... just do it. One of these days I'll take you at your word that is the message you want to leave and redial to leave the message and leave nothing but that phone number.
Rule 4: This is also answering machine related. I know what I'm doing, if I say "dialing" and then say "an answering machine has picked up" I didn't forget to relay that the phone was ringing, IT DID NOT RING. Asking me to redial will do you absolutely nothing, it still aint going to ring. Bitching that I'm not relaying the rings won't gain you support either, because as has been mentioned, IT WAS NOT RINGING.
Rule 5: There is no "live representative" button on the phone. If you ask me to find one, I will do my best... but, don't be surprised when I tell you that I am unable to do so. A lot of menus require that you enter account numbers, phone numbers, or at least select which department you want. I'm sorry that it isn't fair that you can't just be connected directly with a live representative, but guess what, us hearing people can't either, so deal with it.
Rule 6: We use common english commands for our calls. We do this because the GA/SK standard has so many different variations that it is much easier for you to just tell us what you want done and for us to just tell you what we are doing. That said, if you do prefer to use a GA/SK standard, please be understanding that we deal with multiple variations, we may not understand your request immediately as we try to remember what it means in your particular variation.
Rule 7: On that note, if you are going to insist on using GA/SK, please use it properly. There are two variations for placement, one is either on a separate line after the end of what you want to say, or on the last line of what you want to say. DO NOT put it at the end of each and every line. It is a message ender, not a punctuation mark.
Rule 8: If it is in paranthesis we will not add GA to the end of it... I don't care what our competitors do, even when we are using GA/SK, a paranthese end assumes end of message. Don't bitch that we don't add GA to the end.
Rule 9: Please try to use proper grammar/spelling. I understand that speed is important and shorthand needs to be used. Common abbreviations and acronyms are fine (eg. ily, ttyl, tmr, addy, assoc, etc), text speek on the other hand is likely to have your message misrelayed... once again, don't bitch to me that you don't know how to communicate properly.
Rule 10: I don't care why you are making the phone call... my job is the same no metter what. By all means, tell me that you want to speak to John Smith and I'll make sure that it is John Smith that gets on the line, but don't go on and on about "I need to talk to John about going boating this Saturday up at the lake with Steve and Bill" I.DO.NOT.CARE. This is your phone call, not mine, you can do with it as you please... any explanation you give to me will not change the course of the call or how I handle it, so stop wasting both of our times and just let me get about doing my job.
Rule 11: If I ask "are you there" I'm not really asking you a question, I'm checking the connection. If you see that question during a call, don't answer yes and nothing else, respond to the last message, "are you there" is our gentle way of saying hey moron, you're taking too long to type.
Rule 12: TURN OFF YOUR DAMNED CAPS LOCK
Those are my 12 rules for not irritating your relay operator, more may be added at a later date.
So, since it has been requested, here are my SC deaf users, in the form of instructional manual
Rule 1: Don't be so fracking lazy. It takes to keystrokes and 1 second to respond "no" to the question "would you like to place another call". I know that you know that we will disconnect after three minutes of inactivity anyway, but that is three minutes that someone else may potentially have to wait because you can't be arsed to type a two letter word.
Rule 2: Smiley's rule of diminishing returns- As a rule, the success rate for getting someone to pick up on a redial is 1 out of 10 for the first redial, 1 out of 100 for the second, 1 out of 1000 for the third, and so on. I have never had someone pick up after a 5th redial... so please for the love of all things holy, stop asking for repeated redials, THEY WILL NOT WORK!
Rule 3: The answer to a yes or no question is, will you believe it, either yes or no. If I ask "would you like to leave a message" the correct answer is not "555-555-5555", the correct way to say that is no, I will disconnect the call and ask if you would like to place another call, in which time it is appropriate to give me another phone number. It takes two keystrokes and adds 15 seconds to the call... just do it. One of these days I'll take you at your word that is the message you want to leave and redial to leave the message and leave nothing but that phone number.
Rule 4: This is also answering machine related. I know what I'm doing, if I say "dialing" and then say "an answering machine has picked up" I didn't forget to relay that the phone was ringing, IT DID NOT RING. Asking me to redial will do you absolutely nothing, it still aint going to ring. Bitching that I'm not relaying the rings won't gain you support either, because as has been mentioned, IT WAS NOT RINGING.
Rule 5: There is no "live representative" button on the phone. If you ask me to find one, I will do my best... but, don't be surprised when I tell you that I am unable to do so. A lot of menus require that you enter account numbers, phone numbers, or at least select which department you want. I'm sorry that it isn't fair that you can't just be connected directly with a live representative, but guess what, us hearing people can't either, so deal with it.
Rule 6: We use common english commands for our calls. We do this because the GA/SK standard has so many different variations that it is much easier for you to just tell us what you want done and for us to just tell you what we are doing. That said, if you do prefer to use a GA/SK standard, please be understanding that we deal with multiple variations, we may not understand your request immediately as we try to remember what it means in your particular variation.
Rule 7: On that note, if you are going to insist on using GA/SK, please use it properly. There are two variations for placement, one is either on a separate line after the end of what you want to say, or on the last line of what you want to say. DO NOT put it at the end of each and every line. It is a message ender, not a punctuation mark.
Rule 8: If it is in paranthesis we will not add GA to the end of it... I don't care what our competitors do, even when we are using GA/SK, a paranthese end assumes end of message. Don't bitch that we don't add GA to the end.
Rule 9: Please try to use proper grammar/spelling. I understand that speed is important and shorthand needs to be used. Common abbreviations and acronyms are fine (eg. ily, ttyl, tmr, addy, assoc, etc), text speek on the other hand is likely to have your message misrelayed... once again, don't bitch to me that you don't know how to communicate properly.
Rule 10: I don't care why you are making the phone call... my job is the same no metter what. By all means, tell me that you want to speak to John Smith and I'll make sure that it is John Smith that gets on the line, but don't go on and on about "I need to talk to John about going boating this Saturday up at the lake with Steve and Bill" I.DO.NOT.CARE. This is your phone call, not mine, you can do with it as you please... any explanation you give to me will not change the course of the call or how I handle it, so stop wasting both of our times and just let me get about doing my job.
Rule 11: If I ask "are you there" I'm not really asking you a question, I'm checking the connection. If you see that question during a call, don't answer yes and nothing else, respond to the last message, "are you there" is our gentle way of saying hey moron, you're taking too long to type.
Rule 12: TURN OFF YOUR DAMNED CAPS LOCK
Those are my 12 rules for not irritating your relay operator, more may be added at a later date.
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