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Here's the rest of the week to go along with that one gloriously suck arse Friday night I posted earlier. A couple of really special ones this week ( The parkade gate...wtf? )
PS. Happy New Years. ^^
Persistence
You're at a payphone NOT an arcade game. If I tell you "no", it does not mean you can insert another quarter and try again.
Shift Commentary:
I'm trying to be witty but I have a severe headache. It’s hard to be witty when you have a headache. Mainly you just sit there wishing that everyone who talks to you would get hit by a bus full of lions which is engulfed in flames.
The lions would then pile out of the bus and maul the person in question, while on fire, and thus set them on fire in the process. Then somehow, don't ask me how as I haven't quite worked it out yet, the whole lot of them would be hit by a low flying cargo plane full of thumbtacks.
Sure, I have one right here.
Caller asked me if I had access to an "Internet socket" to look something up for him. You know, I just might. Let me take off my telecom headframe and look around under my butt shelf, er, chair. I know there has to be an Internet Socket around here somewhere....
Orderlines
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "V3….do I know that? Postal code…"
You're asking me? I have so little faith left that I'm impressed you even managed to tell me what your name was. Nevermind your postal code. Heck I'm impressed you made it this far to begin with. In fact you were on a roll. Don't give up now!
Property Management
Caller informed Op #2 that her clicker to open the parkade gate did not work…..so she ran her car through the parkade gate instead. I'm not entirely sure why she thought that was acceptable solution. Nor why she would actually call and explain why she did it.
Still, its just further evidence that there are few problems in the world that cannot be solved by running them over with a Honda Civic.
As a bonus: Caller actually told us who she was and what suite she lived in after admitting she ran through the parkade gate. I guess she really thinks "Well my clicker didn't work" was a valid excuse.
Orderlines 2
Me: "and the card number is?"
SC: "…the numbers look kind of funny."
Funny "ha ha" or funny "I spend the last hour inhaling model glue and then the cat told me to call"?
Cell Phone Bills
Caller spoke at length for about a minute. I understood approximately 6 words: "I dun be", "pay" and "foon off". I'm not entirely sure what any of it means but I would very much appreciated it if he would "foon off" himself.
Home Renovations
( 3am on an info line for a company that does home renovations )
SC: "Is this a radio?"
That depends how good of an imagination you have I guess. If you like I could cup my hand over my headset mic and make a radio static noise for you.
Hotel Reservations
"Your confirmation number is M as in Mary. D as in David. V as in Victory. xxxxxx"
"MBV123?"
Yes, B as in David. Ignore all those other numbers. You don't need them anyway. I don't know how you managed to board a plane to begin with but I think I know why they kicked you off it.
How Not To Impress Skytrain Security
Stumble on to the Skytrain and ensure you are: A) Drunk, B) Smoking, C) Have rollerblades, D) Grab some guy's bag and throw it at him so you can sit down and E) Make a total ass of yourself while your sober and utterly embarrassed girlfriend apologizes to everyone around you.
Not enough you say? Well wait, there's more!
When the train gets to your stop, get off the train and immediately try and start a fight with some guy on the platform. For extra brownie points, shove him towards the Skytrain track.
End your evening by being set upon by Skytrain guards that lept on you like starving dogs on a bacon bit.
I for one have to cheer on police brutality in this instance.
The Second Coming
Some strange woman in a trench coat called me Jesus on the way to work tonight. So just fyi, the messiah has returned and he works in a call centre.
Wrong Numbers
Why do so many people not believe me when I tell them they have the wrong number? Do I sound that untrustworthy? Do you mistake my politeness for the shifty, halted, drug smuggling, kitten drowning speech of that guy that lives in the suite below you that slinks out, arse naked, into the hallway every morning with a bottle of gin to steal your newspaper? Or are you just a moron?
I shall mentally debate the topic at length and let you know the conclusion I came too after hours of deliberation……you're a moron. Another mystery solved. Watson! Bring me the next case!
With apologies to Louisville, Kentucky
Caller ranted at length about the $20 she had lost in the machine. Caller indicated she had inserted $20 in "3 10's". Yes, $20 in 3 $10 bills. Caller also did not know what the address of the store was. Niether did *3* of the clerks she asked who worked AT the store. Caller ranted her entire story, at least 4 times, to each clerk she spoke with. She also told me the story at least 9 times.
She attempted to describe the store location to me using landmarks and asked me if I was from Louiseville. I spent a moment thanking God and any other deities I could think of that I was not from Louiseville, KY.
I'm losing enough braincells as is engaging you in conversation. The thought being in the same physical area as you terrifies me. The damage would be irrepairable. Like being hit by some sort of intellectual biological weapon.
Happy Happy
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC" "Yeah, that’s what I want! <click>"
You hanging up is what I wanted too. So we both walked away happy. Huzzah! Have a biscuit.
The fun never ends at my job. Never. I wish it would sometimes. But then I wouldn't have any stories. -.-
PS. Happy New Years. ^^
Persistence
You're at a payphone NOT an arcade game. If I tell you "no", it does not mean you can insert another quarter and try again.
Shift Commentary:
I'm trying to be witty but I have a severe headache. It’s hard to be witty when you have a headache. Mainly you just sit there wishing that everyone who talks to you would get hit by a bus full of lions which is engulfed in flames.
The lions would then pile out of the bus and maul the person in question, while on fire, and thus set them on fire in the process. Then somehow, don't ask me how as I haven't quite worked it out yet, the whole lot of them would be hit by a low flying cargo plane full of thumbtacks.
Sure, I have one right here.
Caller asked me if I had access to an "Internet socket" to look something up for him. You know, I just might. Let me take off my telecom headframe and look around under my butt shelf, er, chair. I know there has to be an Internet Socket around here somewhere....
Orderlines
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "V3….do I know that? Postal code…"
You're asking me? I have so little faith left that I'm impressed you even managed to tell me what your name was. Nevermind your postal code. Heck I'm impressed you made it this far to begin with. In fact you were on a roll. Don't give up now!
Property Management
Caller informed Op #2 that her clicker to open the parkade gate did not work…..so she ran her car through the parkade gate instead. I'm not entirely sure why she thought that was acceptable solution. Nor why she would actually call and explain why she did it.
Still, its just further evidence that there are few problems in the world that cannot be solved by running them over with a Honda Civic.
As a bonus: Caller actually told us who she was and what suite she lived in after admitting she ran through the parkade gate. I guess she really thinks "Well my clicker didn't work" was a valid excuse.
Orderlines 2
Me: "and the card number is?"
SC: "…the numbers look kind of funny."
Funny "ha ha" or funny "I spend the last hour inhaling model glue and then the cat told me to call"?
Cell Phone Bills
Caller spoke at length for about a minute. I understood approximately 6 words: "I dun be", "pay" and "foon off". I'm not entirely sure what any of it means but I would very much appreciated it if he would "foon off" himself.
Home Renovations
( 3am on an info line for a company that does home renovations )
SC: "Is this a radio?"
That depends how good of an imagination you have I guess. If you like I could cup my hand over my headset mic and make a radio static noise for you.
Hotel Reservations
"Your confirmation number is M as in Mary. D as in David. V as in Victory. xxxxxx"
"MBV123?"
Yes, B as in David. Ignore all those other numbers. You don't need them anyway. I don't know how you managed to board a plane to begin with but I think I know why they kicked you off it.
How Not To Impress Skytrain Security
Stumble on to the Skytrain and ensure you are: A) Drunk, B) Smoking, C) Have rollerblades, D) Grab some guy's bag and throw it at him so you can sit down and E) Make a total ass of yourself while your sober and utterly embarrassed girlfriend apologizes to everyone around you.
Not enough you say? Well wait, there's more!
When the train gets to your stop, get off the train and immediately try and start a fight with some guy on the platform. For extra brownie points, shove him towards the Skytrain track.
End your evening by being set upon by Skytrain guards that lept on you like starving dogs on a bacon bit.
I for one have to cheer on police brutality in this instance.
The Second Coming
Some strange woman in a trench coat called me Jesus on the way to work tonight. So just fyi, the messiah has returned and he works in a call centre.
Wrong Numbers
Why do so many people not believe me when I tell them they have the wrong number? Do I sound that untrustworthy? Do you mistake my politeness for the shifty, halted, drug smuggling, kitten drowning speech of that guy that lives in the suite below you that slinks out, arse naked, into the hallway every morning with a bottle of gin to steal your newspaper? Or are you just a moron?
I shall mentally debate the topic at length and let you know the conclusion I came too after hours of deliberation……you're a moron. Another mystery solved. Watson! Bring me the next case!
With apologies to Louisville, Kentucky
Caller ranted at length about the $20 she had lost in the machine. Caller indicated she had inserted $20 in "3 10's". Yes, $20 in 3 $10 bills. Caller also did not know what the address of the store was. Niether did *3* of the clerks she asked who worked AT the store. Caller ranted her entire story, at least 4 times, to each clerk she spoke with. She also told me the story at least 9 times.
She attempted to describe the store location to me using landmarks and asked me if I was from Louiseville. I spent a moment thanking God and any other deities I could think of that I was not from Louiseville, KY.
I'm losing enough braincells as is engaging you in conversation. The thought being in the same physical area as you terrifies me. The damage would be irrepairable. Like being hit by some sort of intellectual biological weapon.
Happy Happy
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC" "Yeah, that’s what I want! <click>"
You hanging up is what I wanted too. So we both walked away happy. Huzzah! Have a biscuit.
The fun never ends at my job. Never. I wish it would sometimes. But then I wouldn't have any stories. -.-
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