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possibly the stupidest answer I have ever heard.....

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  • possibly the stupidest answer I have ever heard.....

    Had this one early today that made me want to weep for the future:

    Me: "And where are the products located?"
    Customer: "Outside"

    It ranks right up their with this classic from a few years ago:

    Me: "What state are you in sir?"
    Customer: " A VERY AGITATED ONE!!!!"
    "When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
    "We don't have a gold plated toilet"
    "Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

    -Jasper Fforde

  • #2
    This reminds me of an exchange between a reporter and Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach John McKay :

    Reporter - "What do you think of your team's execution ? "

    McKay - "I'm in favor of it "

    Dammit !! ~ Jack Bauer

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    • #3
      then there is the famous interview of Tommy Lasorda.

      Although my favorite is when one of the ABC reporters asked Lloyd Carr a stupid question once and he gave her this look, "That has to be the stupidest question I've ever heard" and then moved on.

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      • #4
        Me: "What state are you in sir?"
        Customer: " A VERY AGITATED ONE!!!!"
        Actually this one is pretty clever!
        Dull women have immaculate homes.

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        • #5
          Quoth Exaspera View Post
          Actually this one is pretty clever!
          I agree that's pretty clever.
          Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

          Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
          Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

          Comment


          • #6
            My submission for an official customerssuck t-shirt:

            "Whoever said there are no stupid questions never worked in customer service."
            Aliterate : A person who is capable of reading but unwilling to do so.

            "A man who does not read has no advantage over a man who cannot" - Mark Twain

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            • #7
              From a guy calling about a vehicle lockout.......

              Me: And where is the vehicle located at?
              SC: In my driveway!

              Hmmm...... address would be nice....

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              • #8
                "I have a question."

                "I have an answer - now, do they match up?"
                I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense

                Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.

                http://www.gofundme.com/treasurenathanwedding

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                • #9
                  someone else: I have a question
                  me: the answer is 42


                  and i've heard variations on this:
                  whenever you make something that's idiot-proof, someone goes and makes a better idiot

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                  • #10
                    I used to get my friends with this one...

                    Friend: "I've got a question for you..."
                    Me: "Is the answer blue?"

                    I even got the answer right once...

                    "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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                    • #11
                      Me: If you have any questions, please let me know.
                      Student: Can I ask you a question?

                      What did I just say?! Sometimes I want to reply, "I'm sorry, Susie, I meant everyone else can ask a question except you. You can't."

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                      • #12
                        I also used to annoy co workers with this one:

                        Co-worker: Can I ask you a question?
                        Me: You just did, now go away.

                        One co-worker got it and used to ask:

                        CW: Can i ask you 2 questions?
                        ME: Yes, you can and you have one left
                        CW: Cool! Blah, blah,blah........
                        "When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
                        "We don't have a gold plated toilet"
                        "Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

                        -Jasper Fforde

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          There are no stupid questions. There are however a shit load of inquisitive idiots.
                          I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            There are no stupid questions, but there are unbearably stupid answers.
                            Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                            Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                            Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

                            Comment

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