When the boss is gone, the SCs come (epic)

[bhskittykatt]

Boss Man left today to take care of a family emergency and will be out of the country for probably at least two weeks. Other MOD is off babysitting another property until Sunday. That leaves me in charge. Hooray!

Of course, the SCs are relentless. These are all from this evening:

*Ring ring*
Guy calling on behalf of creepy former guest = GCOBOCFG

Me: *spiel*
GCOBOCFG: Yeah, is Boss Man there?
Me: I'm sorry, he's out of town. Can I take a message?
GCOBOCFG: No, I was just wondering if [creepy former guest] really wasn't allowed to stay there anymore. He's having me call, since he doesn't want to call himself.
Me: As far as I know, yeah, he's not allowed here.
GCOBOCFG: Do you know why?
Me: I don't know the full details.*
GCOBOCFG: I know he can be a little weird sometimes...
Me: Yeah, all I know is that he's not allowed to stay here.

*Aside from Creepy Former Guest's crazed political and economic rants (Obama is in our hotel computers, apparently), he exposed himself to one of our housekeepers (he claimed it was an accident), and the cops were looking for him because he was harassing the employees at the video store next door. Boss Man decided that yeah, we don't want him here anymore.

Later on...

SC1: Did you know there's no fridge in the room?
Me: I know. We don't have microfridges.
SC1: But guests need minifridges!
Me: We have a very limited selection. Unfortunately, you have to special request them ahead of time. I'm all sold out tonight.
SC1: But people need minifridges! Why don't you have minifridges?
Me: I'm sorry, that's not an amenity we have in our standard rooms.
SC1: But what about milk and eggs and stuff? Guests NEED minifridges!
Me: We do have ice, and if you have something you need to keep cold overnight, I'll gladly store it in our breakroom fridge.
SC1: But we NEED microfridges!

SC1 shot me a goofy look as he left, so I know he was just feeding me sh*t. Grrr.

Guest: You don't have free WiFi?
Me: No, we don't include the cost in the room rate. It's an extra $3.
Guest: Ungh. *reluctantly pays up*

Not sucky. Or a customer. Actually, a reprieve:
*Ring ring*
L: Hey, it's L. CW's niece.
Me: Oh, hi L!
L: Can I use the pool?
Me: I don't know, can you?
L: Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Me: I dunno...
L: It's just me! And my guy friend. And his girlfriend. ... Please????
Me: Well...okay, I guess.
L: OMGTHANKYOUSOMUCHI'LLBEDOWNTHEREINFIVEBYE! *click*

Yeah, we have a pool. People want the pool. I have the power to give or deny use of the pool. Such awesome, evil power. MUAHAHAHA!

Another Guest: You don't have free WiFi?
Me: No, we don't include the cost in the room rate. It's an extra $3.
Another Guest: That's crap. *reluctantly pays up*

Sorry, when Corporate decided to add WiFi, they did a big market survey to find out if people wanted the cost added to the room rate (face it: there is no such thing as free WiFi). Most people they surveyed said they wouldn't use it and didn't want to subsidize the cost for those who did. Of course, everyone who does use it wants it for free. So yeah, can't please them all!

SC2: I need two rooms tonight with one adult and two kids in each.
Me: Okay, just so you know, I only have smoking rooms tonight.
SC2: Well, I guess that's okay. Are they downstairs?
Me: It looks like I have one downstairs.
SC2: What?!?!? You have nothing in the back?
Me: Er, I have rooms in the back, but their upstairs. *thinking* Does she mean "in the back" like a store has spare inventory in the back room? *brain hurts*
SC2: Look at the parking lot! Seriously, you guys can't be full!
Me: I still have some reservations coming in. Also, there's a wedding going on as we speak. Most of our guests this weekend are at that wedding.
SC2: Oh, well how much is it?
Me: $63.99 plus tax per room.
SC2: WHAT?!?!? THAT'S BULLSH*T!!! IT USED TO BE $59.99 ON WEEKENDS!!!
Me: I'm sorry, that's what the rate is. *thinking* It's been $65.99, we just lowered it, it hasn't been what she says it's been since May
SC2: Well, what about AAA?
Me: I'm sorry, we don't have AAA rates.
SC2: WELL WHY THE HELL NOT?!?!
Me: We're just not affiliated with them.

Eventually, SC2 pays for the rooms, but 5 minutes later she's back.

SC2: We're leaving. My dad doesn't want to stay.
Me: Sorry to hear that. *begins refund process*
SC2: This is ridiculous. [Our brand] is getting way too expensive. For $5 more we can go stay at [nicer competitor]!
Me: ...
SC2: ...
Me: *counts out refund* Have a nice day!

If she hadn't been such a royal b*tch, I would have cut her a deal. Since she came in with a b*tchy EW attitude, though, no deal. I'm going to sell out tonight, whether she stays here or not, so forgive me for not feeling obligated to cut her a deal.

Also, [nicer competitor]'s rates are at least $10 more than we are...since she's probably going to want rooms with double beds make that closer to $15-20 more per room (that's with AAA discount). I know. I do the rate surveys for Boss Man and his higher-ups. I'm quite familiar with what our competitors charge and what discounts they offer.

To top off my wonderful evening, I keep hearing a strange creaking sound when I'm in the front office. It's a little bit creepy, in fact.

One hour, 45 minutes left....

[ralerin]

SC2: This is ridiculous. [Our brand] is getting way too expensive. For $5 we can go stay at [nicer competitor]!

$5 total for a hotel room?!? Sign me up!

[jjc927]

$3 for wifi is a steal unless it's offered free, especially if that $3 is a per day/visit rate. Why people were complaining about that price is beyond me considering a lot of places that offer it for an extra cost will charge anywhere between $5 and $10, and for some that is just for an hour or two of usage.

And why would that guy bring milk and eggs with him? I'm assuming your hotel doesn't have kitchens with stoves in the rooms except for maybe suites so how would he cook the eggs? And your offer to store it in the hotel's fridge was perfectly reasonable... and he still acts like a spoiled brat over it. More and more hotels are getting fridges in rooms but it's not like it's a requirement.

[Rantsylvania 6-5000]

SC2: What?!?!? You have nothing in the back?
Me: Er, I have rooms in the back, but their upstairs. *thinking* Does she mean "in the back" like a store has spare inventory in the back room? *brain hurts*

This is the first thing that entered my mind too! I had one of those needle-scraping-across-a-record moments!

[superhotelworker]

SC2: Look at the parking lot! Seriously, you guys can't be full!

Peggy, my awesome 3-11 co-worker: "Well ma'am, we don't chain the guests to their rooms, sorry they have lives."

and yes, she's said it.

[bhskittykatt]

$5 total for a hotel room?!? Sign me up!

Gah, $5 more per room. I'll fix the typo, thx! (though if there was a place that offered $5 hotel rooms, I probably wouldn't want to stay there)

Peggy, my awesome 3-11 co-worker: "Well ma'am, we don't chain the guests to their rooms, sorry they have lives."

and yes, she's said it.

Love it. I will have to remember that one.

[ralerin]

I know it was a typo, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. :P But if the room was $5, you'd probably get a mattress, a blanket, a pillow, a tiny room and a communal bathroom with the twenty other people on the floor you're on.

[tropicsgoddess]

SC's just don't get it....EWish attitude+ suckiness= anitpathy from the CSR

[Jack]

I thought this one was going to go more like:

Not sucky. Or a customer. Actually, a reprieve:
*Ring ring*
L: Hey, it's L. CW's niece.
Me: Oh, hi L!
L: Can I use the pool?
Me: I don't know, can you?
L: May I use the pool?
Me: I dunno...
L: It's just me! And my guy friend. And his girlfriend. ... Please????
Me: Well...okay, I guess.
L: OMGTHANKYOUSOMUCHI'LLBEDOWNTHEREINFIVEBYE! *click*

[bhskittykatt]

I know it was a typo, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. :P But if the room was $5, you'd probably get a mattress, a blanket, a pillow, a tiny room and a communal bathroom with the twenty other people on the floor you're on.

Years ago, at another property during a winter power outage, my boss actually rented out the laundry room for like $15 when the rest of the motel was sold out. He gave them some pillows and blankets so they could sleep on the floor. The motel had power, and the laundry room was heated, and that was all the guests really cared about. (On the other side of town, they went something like two weeks without power. And it was a cold winter.)

[EricKei]

L: Can I use the pool?
Me: I don't know, can you?
L: Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Me: I dunno...
L: It's just me! And my guy friend. And his girlfriend. ... Please????
Me: Well...okay, I guess.

Oh Lawdy This reminds of of my HS Spanish teacher (RIP, Padre)...

Whenever ANY of us would as "Can I go to the bathroom?" in class, his response would be "but of course"...As soon as the student stood up, Teach would stop them and ask where they were going. Student would then reiterate the above, usually with a funny look on his face. Teach would then reply, "Oh, yes, of course you CAN, but you didn't ask if you MAY..."



Then he'd let the poor confused kid go.

[Ironclad Alibi]

(though if there was a place that offered $5 hotel rooms, I probably wouldn't want to stay there)

The $3 motel room I stayed in was nice. Of course, that was in 1967.

[Mr. Anubite]

I know it was a typo, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. :P But if the room was $5, you'd probably get a mattress, a blanket, a pillow, a tiny room and a communal bathroom with the twenty other people on the floor you're on.

Not to mention the complimentary meth lab in that bathroom.

[KabeRinnaul]

I know it was a typo, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. :P But if the room was $5, you'd probably get a mattress, a blanket, a pillow, a tiny room and a communal bathroom with the twenty other people on the floor you're on.

That's basically a Japanese capsule hotel, and those are still about $30 a night. Though they still give you a TV and WiFi.

[sirwired]

$3 for WiFi is great! Many of the hotels I stay at on business trips want $10-$12! $3 is perfectly reasonable...

SirWired