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Been a long time since I've served in customer services, and I hope never to again, so this might be my only post ever, unless I can think of some more that I've blacked out from trauma
I am not your battering ram
Helpless Lady comes in with a problem we've all had before: Locked her keys in her car.
For whatever reason, I'm chosen by the power that be (The manager running the store at the time) to be paged up front to assist.
I go to the back room and retrieve a coat hanger, but HL's auto happens to be a BMW with electric locks. Coat hanger's not gonna cut it.
HL: What about breaking a window? I need to get home, I'll get it fixed later
Me: Okay, a back window would be best as they're smaller and cheeper to replace
HL: Here {hands me a large rock}
Me:
Now, it's past sunset, and here I am, standing in a mostly empty parking lot, holding a large rock with this lady looking at me expectantly
Me: Uhm.. sorry, I can't do this
HL: Please?! I need to get home!
Me:
Sorry lady, I'm not going to expose myself to possible lawsuit just so you don't have to take a cab.
The forklift is not a battering ram
Different store, still in the process of being opened.
Upon arriving at the store the Store Manager gathers everyone and proceeds to lecture us about forklift safety and proper usage as the drivers had been carrying too-large loads and leaving them parked where they get in the way and other shenanigans. I was a lowly plebeian with no forklift training, so I was just there for emotional support, or whatever.
Later in the day, I'm over setting up shelving when
*vrrrrrrr-WHAM*
Guess who proceeded to impale the forklift tine on a support column due to carrying too large a load? Your first two guesses don't count
Next thing I know the store gets evacuated while engineers determine if the damage might cause structural collapse.
I demand that you scald my tongue
Me:
NTLL: No Tastebuds Left Lady
NTLL: Did you make this coffee?
Me: It's possible, is there something wrong it it?
NTLL: Yes, it's too cold!
Me: Okay, I'll make you a fresh one
Keep in mind that the coffee served where I worked was served at 140 degrees
Me: There you go
NTLL: This is too Cold! Make it hotter!
Me: Uhm.. okay... *makes yet another one as I'm not allowed to reheat beverages, this time bringing it to a near boil at 190 degrees*
NTLL: *sips then sighs* Fine, this'll have to do
Me:
Grape Ape, not just for kids anymore
And finally, not so much a sucky customer, just an unexpected surprise.
Worked for an arcade for about a year that was well known in the area for the fact that, in addition to hosting birthday parties and having some of the best pizza and hamburgers around, had an assortment of costumed characters that would, occasionally, appear and run amok, but where a guaranteed appearance at a paid birthday party package.
Part of employment was willingness to be selected to don one of these outfits, which included a kangaroo, a dog, a tiger, and a purple gorilla known as 'Grape Ape'. These are the full fledged mascot/furry costumes that the person inside is both a) unknown and b) far from comfortable as they get extremely hot within 5 minutes of being put on.
I'd worn all of these at least once at various times as management made sure to not let you know you were wearing it till just before you were led off to the back room to put it on. Made life interesting.
On one such occation I was called upon to don Grape Ape, which is fun as the kids go nuts with a giant ape bouncing around, scratching their underarms and making ape noises. So I got myself in the spirit while lamenting my soon to be sweat-coated uniform.
Lo and behold I charge into the part room and encounter the birthday boy, celebrating his 40th birthday.
To be fair, it was the most fun I had in any costume, even if I was the youngest person in the room by at least 20 years.
I am not your battering ram
Helpless Lady comes in with a problem we've all had before: Locked her keys in her car.
For whatever reason, I'm chosen by the power that be (The manager running the store at the time) to be paged up front to assist.
I go to the back room and retrieve a coat hanger, but HL's auto happens to be a BMW with electric locks. Coat hanger's not gonna cut it.
HL: What about breaking a window? I need to get home, I'll get it fixed later
Me: Okay, a back window would be best as they're smaller and cheeper to replace
HL: Here {hands me a large rock}
Me:
Now, it's past sunset, and here I am, standing in a mostly empty parking lot, holding a large rock with this lady looking at me expectantly
Me: Uhm.. sorry, I can't do this
HL: Please?! I need to get home!
Me:
Sorry lady, I'm not going to expose myself to possible lawsuit just so you don't have to take a cab.
The forklift is not a battering ram
Different store, still in the process of being opened.
Upon arriving at the store the Store Manager gathers everyone and proceeds to lecture us about forklift safety and proper usage as the drivers had been carrying too-large loads and leaving them parked where they get in the way and other shenanigans. I was a lowly plebeian with no forklift training, so I was just there for emotional support, or whatever.
Later in the day, I'm over setting up shelving when
*vrrrrrrr-WHAM*
Guess who proceeded to impale the forklift tine on a support column due to carrying too large a load? Your first two guesses don't count
Next thing I know the store gets evacuated while engineers determine if the damage might cause structural collapse.
I demand that you scald my tongue
Me:
NTLL: No Tastebuds Left Lady
NTLL: Did you make this coffee?
Me: It's possible, is there something wrong it it?
NTLL: Yes, it's too cold!
Me: Okay, I'll make you a fresh one
Keep in mind that the coffee served where I worked was served at 140 degrees
Me: There you go
NTLL: This is too Cold! Make it hotter!
Me: Uhm.. okay... *makes yet another one as I'm not allowed to reheat beverages, this time bringing it to a near boil at 190 degrees*
NTLL: *sips then sighs* Fine, this'll have to do
Me:
Grape Ape, not just for kids anymore
And finally, not so much a sucky customer, just an unexpected surprise.
Worked for an arcade for about a year that was well known in the area for the fact that, in addition to hosting birthday parties and having some of the best pizza and hamburgers around, had an assortment of costumed characters that would, occasionally, appear and run amok, but where a guaranteed appearance at a paid birthday party package.
Part of employment was willingness to be selected to don one of these outfits, which included a kangaroo, a dog, a tiger, and a purple gorilla known as 'Grape Ape'. These are the full fledged mascot/furry costumes that the person inside is both a) unknown and b) far from comfortable as they get extremely hot within 5 minutes of being put on.
I'd worn all of these at least once at various times as management made sure to not let you know you were wearing it till just before you were led off to the back room to put it on. Made life interesting.
On one such occation I was called upon to don Grape Ape, which is fun as the kids go nuts with a giant ape bouncing around, scratching their underarms and making ape noises. So I got myself in the spirit while lamenting my soon to be sweat-coated uniform.
Lo and behold I charge into the part room and encounter the birthday boy, celebrating his 40th birthday.
To be fair, it was the most fun I had in any costume, even if I was the youngest person in the room by at least 20 years.
. It was a truck with one of those windows that could open in the back and by pure luck I hadn't latched it..but I was not small enough to fit through. Luckily somebody who worked at the place was rather small, and I was able to enlist their help to get my key. It took me quite awhile to live that one down.
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