Everyone Today Was Just..............

[TelephoneAngel]

Stupid.NO other word for it.From the word go.

Needs Two Pairs of Ears

I explained something to a customer, checked he understood, he did, no problem,Next moment, I have his wife shreiking in my ears, "what's going on, tell me".So I did.She didn't understand.I told her again.She still didn't understand, meanwhile I could hear him telling her, I'll explain it to you, leave this poor woman on the phone alone.

They Can't Phone You Because..........

Customer phones complaining that a coworker promised to phone him half an hour ago and hasn't.It would have taken him half an hour to get through the phone queues to tell me this, and guess which number he gave coworker.......? That's right the number of the phone he is now using.I told him coworker was probably trying to call him, and he refused to believe it.I could also see a note by coworker on the system "tried to call customer several times, phone was engaged".

And others, but I need to sit down for a bit before I type more.

[BaristaTrav]

That 2d one is a large, frothy pint of FAIL.

[MoonCat]

We get people like that all the time! They leave a message saying 'call me back ASAP, it's very important!' No mention that they're going to be away from the phone or anything like that. You call back with 2 minutes and either the phone is busy/voicemail comes on, or it rings and rings and no one picks up. Guess it wasn't really that important, was it?

[TelephoneAngel]

And............breathe.................more....... ...

Neanderthal Man

me "xxxxxx is this your account number?"
customer "ugghh"

repeat for every question.Is that a yes? A no? How do I know?



OMG I'm Panicked

I had a customer that every question I asked her, I had a reply like this.........and I'm not having a go at those who have these problems..........it was just so.........out of place.


me "what's your name?"
customer "OMG I'm so panicked, I don't usually speak on the phone, I don't know what to do, I'm panicked"
me "riiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhhht, but what's your name?"

[TelephoneAngel]

Also..........I had so many today........

I Haven't Mastered That Art Yet

customer needs a form to be signed.I tell her she can come to any sales floor any time, and a member of staff will sign it for her.Customer starts whining.

"But I'm talking to you now, and I don't want to come in, can't you do it for me?"

erm, down the phone line? Now?

[TelephoneAngel]

so many its difficult to remember, i also had



I know my Alphabet, but not Yours



I mishear and ask "was that D for Delta?"

Customer replies "no its D for Donkey".

oh sorry, different "D", then.

[TelephoneAngel]

oh and then how could i forget? I am on a roll here to beat the number taken by Gravekeeper in one shift.How I got all these when I usually have only one or two, I have no idea.

He Doesn't Want That.

I am talking to a woman who for some reaso is helping a man with something over the phone.I have his account details up ad I am tryig to work out where the problem is.

I ask "so, was it about eight days that he first called?"
woman replies "he doesn't want that"
me "er, doesn't want what?"
woman getting annoyed"you don't understand and it isn't what he wants"

Well, I was sure I hadn't offered anything.So I just kept going and eventually got a sensible answer. Or half sensible.Enough to sort out the problem anyway.

[Marmalady]

I ask "so, was it about eight days that he first called?"
woman replies "he doesn't want that"
me "er, doesn't want what?"
woman getting annoyed"you don't understand and it isn't what he wants"

Well, I was sure I hadn't offered anything.So I just kept going and eventually got a sensible answer. Or half sensible.Enough to sort out the problem anyway.

You obviously have the same problem that I have - ILC, or Inadvertent Language Changing. It's a bizarre condition whereby I think I am speaking English, but am obviously unwittingly lapsing into Serbo-Croat or Mediaeval French instead.

Phew - I thought I was the only one who suffered from it.

[Ironclad Alibi]

customer needs a form to be signed.I tell her she can come to any sales floor any time, and a member of staff will sign it for her.Customer starts whining.

"But I'm talking to you now, and I don't want to come in, can't you do it for me?"

Yes, of course. Just hand me the form.

I mishear and ask "was that D for Delta?"

Customer replies "no its D for Donkey".

oh sorry, different "D", then.

No, the other one, D for Dumbass.