People who reflexively ask for discounts

[Imogene]

SC: Do you get a discount on stuff?

Me: Do you work here? No? Here! *hands an app* When you get hired, you have to work two straight years, no missing days, no call-outs, no vacations, before you get a discount for working here.

[Worker-Intellectual]

Me: Do you work here? No? Here! *hands an app* When you get hired, you have to work two straight years, no missing days, no call-outs, no vacations, before you get a discount for working here.

And it is not done at the till, you have to do it at customer service, plus it is not immediate, they take in your claim forms every few moths and put the money on your check, but usually screw it up and wind up taking it off half the time.

[Kiwi]

(AAA, AARP, federal government, state government, county government, city government, truck drivers, Florida residents, airline employees, police officers, local residents, tourists, OMG, WTF, BBQ, ETC)

HAHAHA that gave me my first good belly laugh all week

Im so stealing the OMG WTF BBQ one!!

[Mark Healey]

I have had a few customers wanting the stocking off my legs, freakishly enough.

How many were men?

[Posture Moll]

How many were men?

None!

They seem to content themselves by merely undressing me with their eyes.

[CrazedClerk]

We just had Boxing week sales here in Canada and without fail, we get these numbnuts who come in thinking every thing in the store is on sale.

"Can I get a discount on X? Y? Z? D?"

Or even better, we had a bunch of used games marked down to 2.99. We offer a discount card for used games at my store. Can you see where this is going? Yep, people actually tried to use their discount card to get an even lower price than the already massively discounted 2.99. How freaking cheap do you have to be. Same thing happened when we had a 50% off sale.

[blas]

Also, for the (very) short time that I was involved with Mary Kay, I was....a bit apprehensive about the whole discount thing, because I knew for a fact that everyone I sold to would ask for a discount. And of course, starting out, I would only earn 50% of what I sold, and then with discounts.........I wasn't even sure where to begin. I remember before I was a Mary Kay lady that I got mad discounts, but not just by calling up my sales rep and re-ordering makeup.....I got discounts when I invited lots of women over for facials and makeovers and whatnot....and at the weekly meetings at the hotel we went to, but I never begged for one.

I didn't really feel right about doing that, I have a feeling it was one of those "giving discounts at your discrection" type things.

[Tigress]

When I worked at the young lady's store (it's comparable to a Vanity or a Wet Seal or a Gadzooks), we had an "as is" rack, which a lot of similar stores also had. The "as is" rack had clothes that had a defect, whether it was a broken zipper, a missing button, a hole, a stain, or a rip.....etc etc.....and these clothing items were down to nearly 80% off.

<snip>

Too many people tried to haggle the prices on the as is clothing. "I'll give you two bucks for these jeans without the zipper!" "Five bucks for this prom dress with the rip in it!".........yeah, uh...does this look like the olden days to you? No. We don't haggle.

I love "as is" and clearance racks at the high-end stores and will pay whatever is asked. If you look long enough, you usually find some worthwhile stuff.

And I can usually fix the minor flaw that put it on the rack in the first place. Being a cosplayer and knowing how to sew has its perks. I still have my $10 denim button-up dress that I bought at the Gap back in high school. My chest has gotten considerably bigger since then, so I can't button it up anymore, but it makes an awesome light jacket. I also have several blazers and pants that I bought off the rack, repaired in five minutes and wore to death.

[Tigress]

Sometimes, I get people that ask for discounts as a joke, especially when our registers go down. (The technician part of the store gets the crappiest registers, even though we're responsible for fixing almost everything that's sold in the store. But that's another rant altogether.) I've come up with the best response to it:

"Well, I can give you some free martial arts lessons, but that's about all I can do."

If that doesn't shut them up, learning that I'm a 2nd dan, an (unofficial and unpaid) assistant instructor, and working towards my 3rd dan does.

The worst "gimme a discount" came this Christmas from my aunt. I was dumb enough to tell her about the discount I got from my store and she immediately tried to wrangle some cheap stuff out of me. She wanted me to buy parts and then upgrade her computer for free.

I'm allowed to do free services, but for immediate family/blood relatives only. And my employee discount only works for spouses and dependents. I'm not going to risk losing my job just so my aunt can save 2 bucks on RAM. The fact that abusing the employee discount is the most common reason people get fired just did not get through to her.

[Rapscallion]

I just don't think it's right to tell customers how much of a discount you would receive anyway . . .

I don't think it's right of them to ask in the first place. They don't work there, they don't get the discount - the system is simple. Of course, handing them an applcation form would be funny...

I just remembered a sign that could be useful for such occasions.

"You can have it cheap, you can have it fast, and you can have it good. Pick two."

Rapscallion

[TonyDonuts]

If you go into a store and you forgot your $5 off coupon, are you going to pick up the item and beg the cashier to give you $5 off because you forgot your coupon? But then again, I can imagine people DO do that!

When I was still slinging pizzas, I had a woman come in to pick up her pizza.

She told me she had a coupon for a free pizza, but she left it at home.

I told her the pizza was $9.65 with tax.

She told me she had a coupon for a free pizza, but she left it a home.

I told her that since it was there, and not here, she needed to give me nine dollars and sixty-five cents, please.

She told me that because she had a coupon for a free pizza, I shouldn't be charging her anything at all.

I asked her that if she had left her money at home, would she expect a free pizza?

She asked what that had to do with anything, since she had a coupon.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

She eventually came to a very, very grudging acceptance that if she wanted her pizza, she was going to have to come up with some form of commerce, either money or that aforementioned coupon.

She left without the pizza.

[AirHostess]

I always ask for cabin crew discount, especially at the airport But I'm always nice and never demand one or get hissy when they say no!

[Imogene]

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Note to self: Put in shampoo, rinse out shampoo... lather up my hair?... do it again?

[BusBus]

I don't think it's right of them to ask in the first place.

Some people have nerves of steel with the questions that they ask. I get people asking me how much I make. I tell them that it's private (damnit! it's none of their business! They are getting the same service regardless of whether I make minimum wage or 100k/year) I even remember one lady asking me multiple times. What part of "it's private" do you not understand? I won't even disclose my salary to my friends (I'm very private with my finances).

[Jester]

In my fantasy life I automatically add a $5.00 haggling charge for every sentence or fragment asking for a discount.

No. We don't haggle.

Yes kids, it's time once again to break out Jester's Patented Anti-Haggling Technique. It doesn't slice, it doesn't dice, but it works wonders on those annoying greedy cheap numbnuts who think that everything should be discounted, and everything that is already discounted should be discounted MORE for them! Remember, while the Original Jester's Anti-Haggling Technique was designed for and performed in a bar, it can work wonders anywhere you have those pesky, annoying hagglers!

JESTER: "Hi there! What may I get for you?"
HAGGLER: "I'd like a Corona please."
JESTER: "Sure! That'll be $4."
HAGGLER: "How about we say $2 and call it even?"
JESTER: "Five dollars, no problem!"
HAGGLER: "No, no, I said TWO dollars."
JESTER: "Six dollars it is!"
HAGGLER: "Um....er....three dollars?"
JESTER: "You drive a hard bargain, but yeah, I'll give you the beer for eight bucks."
HAGGLER: "No, no, you said four dollars, I heard you! Here, here's four bucks, please!"
JESTER: "Four dollars it is. Pleasure doing business with you!"

How much would you pay for such a wondrous technique? Don't answer--because it's FREE! Yes, right now, just for you, it's free! You can use it at the bar, at the store, at the box office, anywhere you work, and it's yours for absolutely nothing! And you don't need to add postage, shipping, or handling charges!

Results guaranteed or your money back!

Offer void where prohibited by stupid bosses. New Jersey residents add sales tax.