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I'm not sure if this should be in unsupportable but since I'm not actually giving them any support, just taking notes, I thought it would go here.
I work for a software training company teaching people how to use Office and Adobe programs (mostly). One of the nifty things we do that most other companies don't is provide a help desk service so clients can call in and ask a question if they forgot something from their course.
I'm IT Guy 2 of 2 so it's my job to field the incoming help desk calls because I'm the only one who understands the system and the admin staff are generally busier than me
The system works thusly:
Client calls in, gets put through to me
They tell me their VIP number (All clients are given a card with a unique number when they complete their first course with us)
I put the details of their question into our help desk form
I assign that form to a trainer
The trainer calls the client and helps them with their question
Now, the inevitable question from clients for their first, second or even eight time calling is why they can't be put through to a trainer straight away. Well, the trainers have something mroe important to do: train. We don't have designated help desk trainers who sit around for the two or three calls we get a day. Once that bit is explained most clients understand and either decide to google it or wait until a trainer is on break or until the afternoon when classes finish.
Some people though, hate the very idea of waiting. Here's a gem from this morning:
Me: Howdy!
CPS: Crazy Public Servant! phrase of the day is "That's not good enough."
ring ring...
Me: *company name* This is Morgan
CPS: Yes, my name is SPS and I have a question regarding excel. Last time I had to wait two hours for a trainer to call me back! TWO HOURS! Could you make sure that doesn't happen again?
Me: I can do my best sir but it all depends on trainer availability.
CPS: That's not good enough. Is there a trainer there now?
Me: I'll have a look at the calendar, won't be a moment... *opens calendar on his computer*
Me: Unfortunately all our excel trainers are in the classroom or training off site today. However, I do have a trainer finishing a half day course in an hour or so if that's ok?
CPS: That's not good enough. I need to finish this excel document NOW.
Me: I understand sir but -
CPS: Don't give me 'but's young man, THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I report to *training coordinator for government department* and she will not be happy to hear how you have disrespected me today!
Me: Sir I am sorry if I have offended you but I don't see how I was disrespectful. Please calm down.
CPS: This isn't good enough. I need someone to assist me now. Can't you help me?
Me: *Thinks: no one can help you...* I can't sir, I'm not a trainer and I don't even know what your call is about. I can log the call if you wish but we don't have any trainers available to speak to your for at least an hour.
CPS: You said he would be done in an hour!
Me; Sir, the class may go overtime if a student has a question
CPS: I HAVE A QUESTION! I asked first.
ME: *what are you, six?* I know sir and I'll get you assistance as soon as I can. Did you want me to log your call?
CPS:....Fine. I'm trying to do x with a y but it says z.
Me: x...y...z. Ok sir, and your VIP number?
CPS: my what?
Me: When you attended the course you would have been given a card with your VIP number on it, it helps me to bring up your details
CPS: Oh..okay let me see...
Me: i can also search using your last name if that's easier
CPS: No no, no I've got it. It's *number*
Me: Okay one second...I have that VIP as belonging to a lady called Delilah. Sir are you sure that's your card?
CPS: It isn't.
Me: I need YOUR card number sir.
CPS: Well I didn't get one! I was sick! i've never done any stupid course or got any stupid f**ing card! Just HELP ME!
Ahhh, Salvation!
Me: I'm afraid I can't do that.
CPS: WHAT?!!! f**ing get your f**ing trainer to call me RIGHT NOW!!
Me: Sir our help desk is a free and lifetime service to all of our clients but unfortunately if you haven't done a course with us we can't help you.
CPS: *unrestrained swearing*
Me: *cheerful smile* If you like I'll send our sales team an email so they can contact (training coordinator) and see about getting you on a course.
CPS: You bloody well will not! You help me right now or else -
Me: Have a nice day!
*click*
Oh, but that was fun
Later the real Delilah called and turns out this super urgent matter could wait, at maximum, a month. One wonders at the size of the bee that must have been in his bonnet.
I work for a software training company teaching people how to use Office and Adobe programs (mostly). One of the nifty things we do that most other companies don't is provide a help desk service so clients can call in and ask a question if they forgot something from their course.
I'm IT Guy 2 of 2 so it's my job to field the incoming help desk calls because I'm the only one who understands the system and the admin staff are generally busier than me
The system works thusly:
Client calls in, gets put through to me
They tell me their VIP number (All clients are given a card with a unique number when they complete their first course with us)
I put the details of their question into our help desk form
I assign that form to a trainer
The trainer calls the client and helps them with their question
Now, the inevitable question from clients for their first, second or even eight time calling is why they can't be put through to a trainer straight away. Well, the trainers have something mroe important to do: train. We don't have designated help desk trainers who sit around for the two or three calls we get a day. Once that bit is explained most clients understand and either decide to google it or wait until a trainer is on break or until the afternoon when classes finish.
Some people though, hate the very idea of waiting. Here's a gem from this morning:
Me: Howdy!
CPS: Crazy Public Servant! phrase of the day is "That's not good enough."
ring ring...
Me: *company name* This is Morgan
CPS: Yes, my name is SPS and I have a question regarding excel. Last time I had to wait two hours for a trainer to call me back! TWO HOURS! Could you make sure that doesn't happen again?
Me: I can do my best sir but it all depends on trainer availability.
CPS: That's not good enough. Is there a trainer there now?
Me: I'll have a look at the calendar, won't be a moment... *opens calendar on his computer*
Me: Unfortunately all our excel trainers are in the classroom or training off site today. However, I do have a trainer finishing a half day course in an hour or so if that's ok?
CPS: That's not good enough. I need to finish this excel document NOW.
Me: I understand sir but -
CPS: Don't give me 'but's young man, THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I report to *training coordinator for government department* and she will not be happy to hear how you have disrespected me today!
Me: Sir I am sorry if I have offended you but I don't see how I was disrespectful. Please calm down.
CPS: This isn't good enough. I need someone to assist me now. Can't you help me?
Me: *Thinks: no one can help you...* I can't sir, I'm not a trainer and I don't even know what your call is about. I can log the call if you wish but we don't have any trainers available to speak to your for at least an hour.
CPS: You said he would be done in an hour!
Me; Sir, the class may go overtime if a student has a question
CPS: I HAVE A QUESTION! I asked first.
ME: *what are you, six?* I know sir and I'll get you assistance as soon as I can. Did you want me to log your call?
CPS:....Fine. I'm trying to do x with a y but it says z.
Me: x...y...z. Ok sir, and your VIP number?
CPS: my what?
Me: When you attended the course you would have been given a card with your VIP number on it, it helps me to bring up your details
CPS: Oh..okay let me see...
Me: i can also search using your last name if that's easier
CPS: No no, no I've got it. It's *number*
Me: Okay one second...I have that VIP as belonging to a lady called Delilah. Sir are you sure that's your card?
CPS: It isn't.
Me: I need YOUR card number sir.
CPS: Well I didn't get one! I was sick! i've never done any stupid course or got any stupid f**ing card! Just HELP ME!
Ahhh, Salvation!
Me: I'm afraid I can't do that.
CPS: WHAT?!!! f**ing get your f**ing trainer to call me RIGHT NOW!!
Me: Sir our help desk is a free and lifetime service to all of our clients but unfortunately if you haven't done a course with us we can't help you.
CPS: *unrestrained swearing*
Me: *cheerful smile* If you like I'll send our sales team an email so they can contact (training coordinator) and see about getting you on a course.
CPS: You bloody well will not! You help me right now or else -
Me: Have a nice day!
*click*
Oh, but that was fun
Later the real Delilah called and turns out this super urgent matter could wait, at maximum, a month. One wonders at the size of the bee that must have been in his bonnet.
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