The Awful, The Funny and The Awesome. (language, and long)

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Damn, I was hoping to embarrass the snot out of them. My guess as to what aisle, it would be either haircare or baby.

I'd have called over the intercom (or failing that speaking loudly) "To the couple trying to make a baby in our store. There is a time and a place for that, and that place certainly is not here. We offer many contraceptives and lubrications that will enhance the experience, but please do not try to have that experience here. If for no reason than the fact that our closed circuit cameras are in operation and your antics will be reviewed and possibly critiqued based on form, appearance, and enthusiasm. Thank you."

[MoonCat]

I'd have called over the intercom (or failing that speaking loudly) "To the couple trying to make a baby in our store. There is a time and a place for that, and that place certainly is not here. We offer many contraceptives and lubrications that will enhance the experience, but please do not try to have that experience here. If for no reason than the fact that our closed circuit cameras are in operation and your antics will be reviewed and possibly critiqued based on form, appearance, and enthusiasm. Thank you."

As for the "Baby" -- I'm sure he looked surprised when he heard the word "no" because he's never heard that word before.

[BaristaTrav]

Super Plus Max Absorbency!

Had to give 2 guys a crash course in buying tampons tonight. Girl wanted a "blue box". One problem with that. ALL the boxes are blue. Was it store brand she wanted? "Cottonex"? "Cottonex Diamond"? And what absorbency? One finally called her on the phone and put me on the line. She wanted "Cottonex Diamond" in super (orange) absorbency, and she thanked me for my help.

(Edit to add: I want to know: Are tampon/maxi pad absorbencies different in other parts of the world? Here, it's usually orange for super heavy, green for heavy, yellow for regular.)

In going to get these supplies for my better half, I understand that some brands are now specifically coded with playing cards?? She usually says "ace of spaces" or "queen of clubs" or whatever. Granted, it's been a while, but I thought that was a great idea.

Bonus: Where You Take The Family, Not Where You Make The Family!

Apparently a pair of horny teenagers were using an aisle as their own personal makeout spot, with full on Frenching, rubbing of crotches, boobs and moaning. I was only informed of this because a customer came up and said it, but didn't tell me what aisle nor who the couple were (there were a few in the store). Damn, I was hoping to embarrass the snot out of them. My guess as to what aisle, it would be either haircare or baby.

Better yet, had the slinging baby still been there, you could have pointed out if they weren't careful, that's what they'd end up with.

[Digitalpotato]

Boy, I feel sorry for that older brother in there. At least he apologized, unlike some people his age.

[South Texan]

(Edit to add: I want to know: Are tampon/maxi pad absorbencies different in other parts of the world? Here, it's usually orange for super heavy, green for heavy, yellow for regular.)

I never have inquired as to how different varieties of the product operate, but after purchasing the wrong box twice, I have learned that there is a definite brand loyalty involved.

[ralerin]

I never have inquired as to how different varieties of the product operate.

*wheels out projector, loads up powerpoint slides, yanks on teaching hat and pulls out pointer*

Ahem.

The "heaviness" indicated on the product indicates how much fluid it will hold. The same goes for tampons. Just because heavy protection is "thicker" than, say, regular, it means it will hold a larger amount of fluid. Has nothing to do with the size of the parts it will be placed into (or under if you use pads).

Pads have super absorbent cotton-like material on one side and a leak proof plastic coated with a thin layer of adhesive on the other. You open the package and press it into the underwear. Some have "wings" on them, which are flaps that fold around the crotch of the undies to give it more "hold" and prevent accidental leakage.

Tampons have either a plastic or cardboard "applicator". I don't use them, but the general idea is that you push the tampon out of the top of the applicator and inside until it rests into a comfortable position. Then you pull out the applicator. These come with a string on the end for easy removal.

Cups work similarly to tampons in that they are placed inside and they rest against the cervix to catch the fluid as it leaks out. The downside is that they can be messy, for obvious reasons (fluids can be slippery and you can get them all over your shoes, but they are "earth friendly". There are "green" versions of pads that are manufactured, with some made of washable felt or with a disposable liner of bamboo filling, much like a modern reusable diaper.

You're welcome. :P