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This is by far my favorite story to tell the new string of employees we get for the school year:
I work for a very large grocery store, one that is conveniently located close to a University for their business, close to large high school for their business, up the street from an upscale "historic housing" district, and unfortunately about two blocks north of the official "south side of Tucson" ghetto line, being located where we are gives us a really great mix of idiots, snobs, rich kids, and actually nice customers. Honestly I got no idea what side of the tracks this dude was from, but I hope from now on he stays there.
Around Christmas time, you know that season of hope and love and good will to all men, people go F***ing crazy, retail gets it bad especially when it comes to food. It was actually Christmas Eve and we were beyond busy, we had expected it and we were all dealing with the crazies as best we could. This gentleman came in the store, not too intimidating in appearance, swear to God I would have thought he was normal and like soooo many just forgot that one small item he had to make a last minute run to the store for. All he needed was a can of cranberries.... A CAN OF FREAKING CRANBERRIES is what this is over.
Customer: Hey, you dont have anymore of the Oceanspray canned cranberries on the shelf and I really need them
Me: Ok hang on let me go and look in the back for you.
I know darn right well there arent any stupid cranberries in the back because its Christmas eve, and stuff like that sells out three days before (christmas eve and christmas are considered holidays for our truck drivers so we dont get a grocery delivery those two days). But just to make the customer happy I go into the back and pretend to look, wait about five to ten, and then go back out there to face him.
Me:I'm very sorry sir but it appears as though we don't have anymore of the Oceaspray brand. However I DO see some of the store brand in a smaller..
Customer: I don't want the &^*%ing store brand! And its too small anyway!
Me:Well we won't be getting anymore OceanSpray for a few days, but we can call one of our other branches in town and see if they have any
Customer: Why the &*^% should I have to go to a different *&^(ing store?! Why don't you have any?!
Me: Because its Christmas, which is the same day every year and people actually planned for it
Customer: F**K YOU! I wanna speak to a manager!
I was more than happy to oblige, sadly though the only manager working that day was a really cool gal that I hated having to give crappy customers to. but I handed him off to her and went back to my job. About ten minutes later my manager was escorting him out of the store and I happened to be fixing a display by the front entrance and got to hear this little tid bit:
Customer: I SWEAR TO F&*^ING GOD IMA BE BACK HERE TO SHOOT EVERY SINGLE F*&^ING ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!! *Punch wall and leave fist sized hole in the dry wall*
Yes ladies and gentlemen you read that right. A man came into the store looking for canned cranberries and threatened to kill us all because we did not have them and then proceeded to punch a hole through the wall to emphasize his point. After being kicked out of the store by the manager he stood in front of the store screaming and yelling, threatening customers and employees alike about how he was going to get his gun and shoot everyone in the store. After 5 minutes of that we called the police and had to have him ARRESTED to get him the hell off the property, a trespassing citation was issued and luckily we haven't had to see him since.
I like to tell this story to my new trainees because they NEVER believe it actually happens until they get a Crazy of their very own!
I work for a very large grocery store, one that is conveniently located close to a University for their business, close to large high school for their business, up the street from an upscale "historic housing" district, and unfortunately about two blocks north of the official "south side of Tucson" ghetto line, being located where we are gives us a really great mix of idiots, snobs, rich kids, and actually nice customers. Honestly I got no idea what side of the tracks this dude was from, but I hope from now on he stays there.
Around Christmas time, you know that season of hope and love and good will to all men, people go F***ing crazy, retail gets it bad especially when it comes to food. It was actually Christmas Eve and we were beyond busy, we had expected it and we were all dealing with the crazies as best we could. This gentleman came in the store, not too intimidating in appearance, swear to God I would have thought he was normal and like soooo many just forgot that one small item he had to make a last minute run to the store for. All he needed was a can of cranberries.... A CAN OF FREAKING CRANBERRIES is what this is over.
Customer: Hey, you dont have anymore of the Oceanspray canned cranberries on the shelf and I really need them
Me: Ok hang on let me go and look in the back for you.
I know darn right well there arent any stupid cranberries in the back because its Christmas eve, and stuff like that sells out three days before (christmas eve and christmas are considered holidays for our truck drivers so we dont get a grocery delivery those two days). But just to make the customer happy I go into the back and pretend to look, wait about five to ten, and then go back out there to face him.
Me:I'm very sorry sir but it appears as though we don't have anymore of the Oceaspray brand. However I DO see some of the store brand in a smaller..
Customer: I don't want the &^*%ing store brand! And its too small anyway!
Me:Well we won't be getting anymore OceanSpray for a few days, but we can call one of our other branches in town and see if they have any
Customer: Why the &*^% should I have to go to a different *&^(ing store?! Why don't you have any?!
Me: Because its Christmas, which is the same day every year and people actually planned for it
Customer: F**K YOU! I wanna speak to a manager!
I was more than happy to oblige, sadly though the only manager working that day was a really cool gal that I hated having to give crappy customers to. but I handed him off to her and went back to my job. About ten minutes later my manager was escorting him out of the store and I happened to be fixing a display by the front entrance and got to hear this little tid bit:
Customer: I SWEAR TO F&*^ING GOD IMA BE BACK HERE TO SHOOT EVERY SINGLE F*&^ING ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!! *Punch wall and leave fist sized hole in the dry wall*
Yes ladies and gentlemen you read that right. A man came into the store looking for canned cranberries and threatened to kill us all because we did not have them and then proceeded to punch a hole through the wall to emphasize his point. After being kicked out of the store by the manager he stood in front of the store screaming and yelling, threatening customers and employees alike about how he was going to get his gun and shoot everyone in the store. After 5 minutes of that we called the police and had to have him ARRESTED to get him the hell off the property, a trespassing citation was issued and luckily we haven't had to see him since.
I like to tell this story to my new trainees because they NEVER believe it actually happens until they get a Crazy of their very own!
stays locked up for a very long time!
and 
at all of the students (and parents) who are upset that we don't have any more copies of X, Y and/or Z and we will not get them in before school starts because there are none in our distribution centers. Oh, you have a 4 page paper due the first day? Good luck with that! 
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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