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....until you become one of my least favorite customers in the store.
Now, I have quite a few regulars that come into my store. It's a nice neighborhood, you get friendly with people. There's "Jane" the awesome librarian who always wears an Indiana Jones hat, "Carl" the homeless guy with a heart of gold who always stands in my line no matter how long it is, and brought me flowers after I bought him lunch, "Erika" the pink-haired lady who's always in a good mood, among other characters.
But there's a guy who comes into the store sometimes who I'll call "Jimmy." You can pretty much tell a guy on crack when you see one. He mumbles a lot, has a really shaggy demeanor (he's not homeless, just clearing that up), he's got that bloodshot look in his eyes, and he never replies to anything I say. Now, just ignoring me is a pretty high pet peeve of mine at work, but there's more to it. Every time he comes in, he complains. About anything and everything. He'll find something wrong.
So, here are the many tales of Jimmy:
--
Slow day at the tills. Okay, let's get some customers here. She's not ready yet, that guy went into the register next to mine, he's-oh, god. Not Jimmy. Stay away! Go into that register! It's empty too! Let her deal with you! NO, DON'T TURN HERE! NOOOOOOOOO!
I plaster on a fake smile, thinking hopefully this time will be different. When will I ever learn?
Me: Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything alright?
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like any WOW items today?
J: What duh hell! Those peaches rung up $5!
Me: Aw, jeez, here we go... Yes, sir. They're $2.67 a pound.
J: They ain't no $5!
Me: I can do a price check if you like.
J: I ain't payin' no $5 for peaches! That's ridikulus!
I know I'm not going to get an answer, so I get a bagger to go check, and sure enough they rang up correct. I ask if he'd like them removed from the order, and he rants for another few minutes instead of telling me one way or the other. I just took them off and he didn't say anything, nor did he come back later and say he wanted them.
--
Him again. *le sigh*
Me: *fake smile* Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything okay? My god, it's like a script...
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like some of our WOW items today? It IS a script. Let me guess, he's gonna find something wrong.....NOW!
J: What duh hell! Can I read 'em? That [item] is supposed to be a dolla!
Now, the item in question was part of a sale we were having where the item was a dollar...after coupon. Now, most people realize what this means. However, there are people who just don't seem to get the 'after coupon' part.
Me: Sir, these are a dollar after coupon. So, once this is done, I'll scan the coupon and it will take the other dollar-fifty off, so the item will be one dollar.
J: *looks as though he hasn't heard/understood a word I said* These items are supposed to be a dolla! This ridiculus!
Me: and you keep coming back to bug me WHY? They WILL be a dollar after coupon, sir.
J: Jus' take 'em off! 'Dis store cheatin' me!
Sadly, there are people with more sense and cleanliness than Jimmy who don't understand what 'price after coupon' means.
--
Jimmy again. Why does he insist on coming through my line? Did I do something wrong? Are the retail gods upset that I had to walk into Walmart yesterday? IT WASN'T MY FAULT! MOM NEEDED BATTERIES AND MY STORE WAS CLOSED! DO NOT FORSAKE ME!!!
Me: *fake smile* Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
I'll just cut to the chase. The transaction actually completes without him interrupting, which surprises me, but they saved the fun for last. Jimmy swipes his Lonestar (foodstamp-EBT) card, and despite him coming in often, still doesn't know how to use it correctly sometimes.
Me: Sir, you're hitting 'debit'. You need to hit 'Lonestar.'
Me: Sir, you're hitting 'TANF' when you need to hit 'Food stamps.' Do you have a TANF account? (He doesn't answer of course, but it shows on his receipt he doesn't.)
Me: Sir, you put seven numbers in your PIN number. It should be only four. (repeat twice)
Me: Sir, you only have x.xx left on your food stamps. Would you like to pay the other half?
J: *mumbles something about how there should be enough money on the card, but walks off*
Me: *sighs and pages a manager to void the order*
--
Now here's the most interesting one of all.
Me: Hi! How are you doing today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything alright?
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like one of our WOW items?
J: *silence*
Me: *finishes scanning and bagging the order, hits total* Your total is x.xx.
J: *swipes Lonestar card*
Me: *hands him his reciept* You have a nice day!
J: *leaves*
Wait. That didn't make sense. He didn't complain about anything. He used his card correctly. Aside from him saying absolutely nothing, that was.....a normal transaction! With JIMMY! CALLOO-CALLAY!
--
That's pretty much all I have to say for now. I'm sure he'll show up again sooner or later, though.
Now, I have quite a few regulars that come into my store. It's a nice neighborhood, you get friendly with people. There's "Jane" the awesome librarian who always wears an Indiana Jones hat, "Carl" the homeless guy with a heart of gold who always stands in my line no matter how long it is, and brought me flowers after I bought him lunch, "Erika" the pink-haired lady who's always in a good mood, among other characters.
But there's a guy who comes into the store sometimes who I'll call "Jimmy." You can pretty much tell a guy on crack when you see one. He mumbles a lot, has a really shaggy demeanor (he's not homeless, just clearing that up), he's got that bloodshot look in his eyes, and he never replies to anything I say. Now, just ignoring me is a pretty high pet peeve of mine at work, but there's more to it. Every time he comes in, he complains. About anything and everything. He'll find something wrong.
So, here are the many tales of Jimmy:
--
Slow day at the tills. Okay, let's get some customers here. She's not ready yet, that guy went into the register next to mine, he's-oh, god. Not Jimmy. Stay away! Go into that register! It's empty too! Let her deal with you! NO, DON'T TURN HERE! NOOOOOOOOO!
I plaster on a fake smile, thinking hopefully this time will be different. When will I ever learn?
Me: Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything alright?
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like any WOW items today?
J: What duh hell! Those peaches rung up $5!
Me: Aw, jeez, here we go... Yes, sir. They're $2.67 a pound.
J: They ain't no $5!
Me: I can do a price check if you like.
J: I ain't payin' no $5 for peaches! That's ridikulus!
I know I'm not going to get an answer, so I get a bagger to go check, and sure enough they rang up correct. I ask if he'd like them removed from the order, and he rants for another few minutes instead of telling me one way or the other. I just took them off and he didn't say anything, nor did he come back later and say he wanted them.
--
Him again. *le sigh*
Me: *fake smile* Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything okay? My god, it's like a script...
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like some of our WOW items today? It IS a script. Let me guess, he's gonna find something wrong.....NOW!
J: What duh hell! Can I read 'em? That [item] is supposed to be a dolla!
Now, the item in question was part of a sale we were having where the item was a dollar...after coupon. Now, most people realize what this means. However, there are people who just don't seem to get the 'after coupon' part.
Me: Sir, these are a dollar after coupon. So, once this is done, I'll scan the coupon and it will take the other dollar-fifty off, so the item will be one dollar.
J: *looks as though he hasn't heard/understood a word I said* These items are supposed to be a dolla! This ridiculus!
Me: and you keep coming back to bug me WHY? They WILL be a dollar after coupon, sir.
J: Jus' take 'em off! 'Dis store cheatin' me!
Sadly, there are people with more sense and cleanliness than Jimmy who don't understand what 'price after coupon' means.
--
Jimmy again. Why does he insist on coming through my line? Did I do something wrong? Are the retail gods upset that I had to walk into Walmart yesterday? IT WASN'T MY FAULT! MOM NEEDED BATTERIES AND MY STORE WAS CLOSED! DO NOT FORSAKE ME!!!
Me: *fake smile* Hi! How are you today?
J: *silence*
I'll just cut to the chase. The transaction actually completes without him interrupting, which surprises me, but they saved the fun for last. Jimmy swipes his Lonestar (foodstamp-EBT) card, and despite him coming in often, still doesn't know how to use it correctly sometimes.
Me: Sir, you're hitting 'debit'. You need to hit 'Lonestar.'
Me: Sir, you're hitting 'TANF' when you need to hit 'Food stamps.' Do you have a TANF account? (He doesn't answer of course, but it shows on his receipt he doesn't.)
Me: Sir, you put seven numbers in your PIN number. It should be only four. (repeat twice)
Me: Sir, you only have x.xx left on your food stamps. Would you like to pay the other half?
J: *mumbles something about how there should be enough money on the card, but walks off*
Me: *sighs and pages a manager to void the order*
--
Now here's the most interesting one of all.
Me: Hi! How are you doing today?
J: *silence*
Me: Did you find everything alright?
J: *silence*
Me: Would you like one of our WOW items?
J: *silence*
Me: *finishes scanning and bagging the order, hits total* Your total is x.xx.
J: *swipes Lonestar card*
Me: *hands him his reciept* You have a nice day!
J: *leaves*
Wait. That didn't make sense. He didn't complain about anything. He used his card correctly. Aside from him saying absolutely nothing, that was.....a normal transaction! With JIMMY! CALLOO-CALLAY!
--
That's pretty much all I have to say for now. I'm sure he'll show up again sooner or later, though.
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