Here are a few "laws" I thought of while posting a nice reply to a thread from before. If you have any in mind, please feel free to add some.
Decibel's law: Where volume of bitching is equally proportionate to the discount that she is entitled to.
ex: "I WANT MY MONEY!!!!!!"
Suits Law: If the customer thinks one thing, and the store thinks something else, then customer is hereby entitled to scream, whine, moan, and claim lawsuit until he or she receives the self described discount under penalty of SL(stupid lawyer).
ex: "YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY OR I'LL SUE YOU ALL!!!!"
Field of Dreams Act: I do not work retail, so I am more important than retail workers, and my every utterance is law to them.
ex: "I'm a lawyer. give me what i want, because I pay your wages, and you can't possibly afford mine."
Buddy Law: If merchant is out of stock on the floor, you may pretend to be "a close friend" and make your request for said item paramount and they will have one in back just for their friend.
ex: "Hey, I know you don't have any PS3s, but we're friends right? Surely you can get one from the back for a friend can't you?"
Einsteinian's law of adapters: They make something you need to do the most preposterous thing, no matter what your idea is.
ex: "I want to connect my coax cable to a 3/4" Pinkney Flange."
Back deal's law(also called post sale's law): If a site has a special, and that special has past its deadline and they have a new special for the same product, you can request the previous deal cause you saw it first.
ex: "I don't want the new deal with the free shipping, memory card, and extra charger for your product, I want the one you had yesterday for the free accessory that I wanted yesterday. I didn't order it yesterday because I wanted to see what the new deal would be."
I'll add more laws as I stumble across them. If you have any, please feel free to add.
Decibel's law: Where volume of bitching is equally proportionate to the discount that she is entitled to.
ex: "I WANT MY MONEY!!!!!!"
Suits Law: If the customer thinks one thing, and the store thinks something else, then customer is hereby entitled to scream, whine, moan, and claim lawsuit until he or she receives the self described discount under penalty of SL(stupid lawyer).
ex: "YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY OR I'LL SUE YOU ALL!!!!"
Field of Dreams Act: I do not work retail, so I am more important than retail workers, and my every utterance is law to them.
ex: "I'm a lawyer. give me what i want, because I pay your wages, and you can't possibly afford mine."
Buddy Law: If merchant is out of stock on the floor, you may pretend to be "a close friend" and make your request for said item paramount and they will have one in back just for their friend.
ex: "Hey, I know you don't have any PS3s, but we're friends right? Surely you can get one from the back for a friend can't you?"
Einsteinian's law of adapters: They make something you need to do the most preposterous thing, no matter what your idea is.
ex: "I want to connect my coax cable to a 3/4" Pinkney Flange."
Back deal's law(also called post sale's law): If a site has a special, and that special has past its deadline and they have a new special for the same product, you can request the previous deal cause you saw it first.
ex: "I don't want the new deal with the free shipping, memory card, and extra charger for your product, I want the one you had yesterday for the free accessory that I wanted yesterday. I didn't order it yesterday because I wanted to see what the new deal would be."
I'll add more laws as I stumble across them. If you have any, please feel free to add.
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