Explaining Cannibalism to Children

[flutes_and_fabric]

So this is really a story of SCs to come. I helped out in a camp that was doing an adult show edited to be a child's show. It's called "Once Upon A Mattress." The show has actually been turned into three movies, which I believe are all on you tube if you haven't heard of it. The wonderful Carol Burnett (the original Ms. Hannigan) plays the main character in the first two, and the mean mother in the third. The show is basically about the princess and the pea, and what makes it adult oriented is when one character gets pregnant out of wedlock, a few choice words, and when the mute father attempts to explain the birds and the bees to his adult son.

So there were plenty of angry stage parents (SCs) over who got to sing solos and who played what part. (I'm sorry, we only had one boy so he kinda automatically gets to play sir Harry ma'am.) One parent actually verbally assaulted the fifteen year old lead in an attempt to scare her out of the show. Her child was seven and tone deaf, she wasn't getting that part.

One parent came up and started screaming about, why couldn't her child play in the pit. she's just as good! Lady, your kid is ten and the four of us in the pit are payed professionals who all attended a very good conservatory. That was actually a fun day.

But the most complaints we had were about the content of the show. It was all altered very well to fit the age ranges. Actually, this show is most widely performed by younger groups.

In the end everything went well and the parents loved it.

Now the part about SCs to come: Next year the age 5-15 group is doing...remember the title of this post?...SWEENEY! Really? How are you going to alter this one? The entire show is about killing and crazy people and eating your neighbors. And for those of you who have seen the Tim Burton version (love that man), the stage show is even more graphic. Yay, can't wait for this one.

[Sheldonrs]

Before it was a movie, it was a play on broadway, also starring Carol Burnett.
I love the music from it.

As for explaining canabalism to the kids, thanks to zombie video games and movies, i'm sure they already know what it is.
Now if the play were about Math, American History or just about any school subject, you would never get through to most of them.

[freaktard]

One parent came up and started screaming about, why couldn't her child play in the pit. she's just as good! Lady, your kid is ten and the four of us in the pit are payed professionals who all attended a very good conservatory. That was actually a fun day.

Gah! I hate that! Every few years I'll be out doing a gig of some kind, and some parent will come up to me to brag about his or her pweshious wittle girl who started violin lessons last month and is apparently super-talented because she can play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" after only a month.

Which would be bad enough, except that sometimes they'll ask me, "Can my seven-year-old kid who's been taking violin lessons for a month play Twinkle Twinkle on your violin?"

Uh, NO! I make my living with my violin, and it cost me more than my car did! I am not handing it over to anybody!

[MoonCat]

Hey, some parents these days don't care if their little 9 year old girls are dressed like Vegas showgirls and doing pelvic thrusts on stage (you've probably seen that on YouTube), so I doubt a little cannibalism will bother them at all.

You should probably recruit some of the parents to play the cannibals. Type-casting, y'know.

[flutes_and_fabric]

Gah! I hate that! Every few years I'll be out doing a gig of some kind, and some parent will come up to me to brag about his or her pweshious wittle girl who started violin lessons last month and is apparently super-talented because she can play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" after only a month.

Which would be bad enough, except that sometimes they'll ask me, "Can my seven-year-old kid who's been taking violin lessons for a month play Twinkle Twinkle on your violin?"

Uh, NO! I make my living with my violin, and it cost me more than my car did! I am not handing it over to anybody!

That's happened to me before too. I have a few different flutes: my school flute which is often knocked over and picked up by kids wondering what an open holed flute feels like, my college flute used for most rehearsals and this particular performance (too many children around for my best flute), and my $16,000 flute I won at the national flute convention three years ago. I was performing a recital last year and had to switch from flute to piccolo for one piece and when I went backstage there was some girl there who I didn't know testing out my flute. She wasn't even supposed to be back there, and worst of all, she was a performance major. She should know not to just pick up someone's instrument without permission. A kid once tried to play my saxophone. That reed went in the trash and the mouthpiece was boiled and disinfected. OMG, one of my school's trumpets stopped playing and after a thorough inspection the best I could tell was there was something lodged in it. I gave it a bath to clean it out, and an entire cupcake came out (not in cupcake form.)

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Reminds me; some years back I left my violin bow in the pit at a school after a performance, and someone walked away with it. Don't know how anyone could've figured out that it cost me 200 bucks and two hours of weighing, holding and playing to get one that was just right for my hands. I hope at least it was a violin student.

Hate stage parents--if anyone doesn't get the music reference, just think of school sports and the way parents sometimes act there, and you've got it.

[phantasy]

This reminds me of high school when kids used to stuff trash into my cello through the f-holes (like straw wrappers and such). It took a lot of shaking the cello above my head upside down to get that crap out.


And to the kid who broke a necklace with a gajillion beads into my cello in the 7th grade: PLEASE DIAF. *rant and foam*


Stage parents suck. They always think that their little speshul snowflake spawn are television talent show worthy after learning how to play "twinkle twinkle little star" on their instrument. When I learned violin and cello, I dealt with 6 months of my aunt screaming "stop that racket! It sounds like a dying cat making love to nails!" Even now that I've been accepted into the state honors' orchestra repeatedly, I still sound like a dying cat to her.

[firecat88]

1) This is why I'm glad I play no instruments. Or, at least, none that actually leave the house. I have a tin whistle and a bodhran, neither of which are allowed outside of the house. I have no desire to see those ruined by someone.

2) I'm kinda glad, also, that my parents were never 'stage parents'. Sure, I sing. Singing has been my thing since I was 3 years old. However, my parents never pushed for me to get any roles or threw a fit when I didn't get a certain solo in 7th grade choir or the Sweet Adelines chorus I was in.

3) I've seen, on TV, the evil that is the stage parent. If I ever have kids, which is not very likely, I hope I *never* do that to them.

[Eisa]

^You were in Sweet Adelines? So was I at one time. What part did you sing?

My parents were never stage parents, either. I wanted to learn how to play the violin, the piano, and the flute [although mainly the violin], and my parents wouldn't let me. *sighs* And my dad, to this day, says I sound like something's dying when I sing, which was definitely NOT a confidence booster.

I'd love to know how on earth they're going to make Sweeney Todd kid-friendly.

[firecat88]

^You were in Sweet Adelines? So was I at one time. What part did you sing?

Yes! I was in one of the choruses from Region 8. I started out as a tenor, but that lasted about a week before I switched to being a lead.

[Eisa]

Yes! I was in one of the choruses from Region 8. I started out as a tenor, but that lasted about a week before I switched to being a lead.

Region 24... I actually started out on bass because I could hit the notes even though I wasn't comfortable down there--they needed basses. Then moved to baritone. Then lead. And then finally ended up on tenor. And sang baritone in a quartet, but our quartet never actually...performed lol.

[dalesys]

...trumpets stopped playing ... an entire cupcake came out (not in cupcake form.)

... stuff trash into my cello through the f-holes ...

I shook a green vienna sausage out of my baritone horn once (little brothers FTW).

The mice filled my friend's f-hole guitar full of doggie kibble...

[Julesy]

There are children's stories in which people get eaten. If the kids can handle Grimm fairytales, they can handle Sweeney. After all, the "evil witch" from Sweeney Todd ends up being shoved into the oven herself, right? Good conquers evil. All is well.

[bainsidhe]

$16,000 for a flute? As a non-music player I have to ask, does one insure something like this? I bet that girl's head spun with how fast you got that away from her. Wow.

[Mishi]

My husband's family are a mix between stage and supportive. Poor bloke had violin lessons when he was 6 and his family still thinks he's awesome for picking up 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' within a month . He hasn't touched a violin in about 20 years, and he's still bugged to bring it out at birthday parties!