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In case it hasn't been covered yet, it's back to school shopping time at most stores, including mine. Here are a few sucky-customer-soaked interactions I've endured over the last three weeks.
Bitchasaurus Rex
Your players:
MoN - the always lovely and sometimes irritating helpful
Bitchasaurus Rex (BR) - impatient hag
*indicates my thoughts/actions*
It's about 7:30-8 p.m., starting to cruise through my shops and straighten things up for the evening. Pretty quiet for BTS time. Suddenly BR comes stomping up to me...
BR: Finally! I've been looking for someone forever! *stares at me expectantly*
MoN: *I see she's got a couple of items of clothing in her hands* Would you like to try those on?
BR: Yes, if it's not too much trouble... *strike number one*
MoN: Certainly, let me get you into a fitting room. *gets her into fitting room*
Now, it should be noted we usually knock on the door one time during the customer's time in the fitting room. Figuring BR would be supremely irritated with me had I done that, I just waited outside the fitting room and straightened while she tried on. She emerges a bit later...
MoN: How'd everything work? *she has one item in her hands, the rest in a holy mess on the floor in the fitting room*
BR: I think I'm going to take this, but I wanna look around.
MoN: Great *enters fitting room, picks up the squalor she left behind, closes fitting room door and begins rehanging the stuff she was too lazy to*
BR: *nearly screaming* Why'd you close the fitting room? I TOLD you I wanted to try more! *strike two*
MoN: Sorry ma'am. I thought you said you wanted to look around and I'm not allowed to leave fitting rooms open without a customer. No problem, I'll stay right here and let you back in.
BR: This is bullshit. *aaaaaand strike three*
BR grabs two more closeby items and stomps over to the fitting room.
BR: I'm ready if you think you can handle opening the room again. *Oh, going for a home run, are we?*
I open the fitting room, let her in. She's out shortly, with the original item clutched in her claws.
MoN: Decided to go with your first choice, ma'am?
BR: Yes, I don't suppose you'll let me take this to the front, you seem to be worried about me taking something with all your bullshit about the fitting room...
MoN: You can certainly carry your purchase to the front, ma'am. *seething*
BR walks around the shop for a bit, yammering on to no one about how much hassle she's gotten tonight. That's when I decided to call in my pinch hitter...
MoN: Ma'am, may I call a manager for you? You seem to have a problem with my service.
BR: *turns purple* NO! *stomps off to annoy someone else*
MoN: *grins*
* * *
So, You're Too Cheap to Pay Shipping
MoN: moi
CPG: Cheap Phone Guy
I hear a page for a phone call to a shop I can help in...
MoN: Thank you for holding, this is MiddleofNowhere, how may I help you?
CPG: Yeah, I'm on ya'lls website and I want to order *fancybrand* shirt
MoN: Okay sir, if you're on our website, did you know you can order from right there?
CPG: Course I do, but I want you to get them for me and I'll pick 'em up. No way I"m paying shipping.
MoN: *sigh, so you are right there, on our online store, and you won't pay our perfectly reasonable and cheap shipping charges* Okay, sir, so you'll pick them up in the store. What's the item again?
CPG: Fancy brand shirt
Now, it should be noted that we carry a couple dozen different styles of *fancy brand* shirts. So, to ensure getting the right shirt, I need more info.
MoN: Okay sir, what is the model or item number of the *fancybrand* shirt?
CPG: I dunno, I just wrote down the name of it.
MoN: Alright sir, what's the name of the shirt? *thinking he'll give me the model name of the shirt and I can track it down from that*
CPG: Fancybrand Shirt
MoN: Yes, that's the brand, but there are many different models or types of that shirt, do you know which one you wanted?
CPG: Christ, I didn't know this would be so hard...just a minute..
MoN: *waits and hears him boot up his computer.... lord, help me. and waits and waits and waits while he grunts and slams his knuckles on the keyboard*
Several minutes pass...
CPG: Model blah-blah of Fancy Brand shirt
MoN: Great sir, what size and what color? *again, we have multiple color options and I need to know what size he needs*
CPG: Jeezus... I didn't know this was going to be such a hassle...
MoN: Sir, I want to make sure we get the right shirt pulled for you.
CPG: Don't you know what you're doing? I just want one damn shirt, I don't know why I called you...
MoN: *grins evilly* Sir, you told me you called the store because you didn't want to pay shipping. I am trying to get your shirt, but you have to answer a few questions for me so I get the right one.
CPG: *roars* This is bullshit *click*
* * *
And those both happened on the same day, along with other stupid tomfoolery. Anyone else have good BTS stories to share?
Bitchasaurus Rex
Your players:
MoN - the always lovely and sometimes irritating helpful
Bitchasaurus Rex (BR) - impatient hag
*indicates my thoughts/actions*
It's about 7:30-8 p.m., starting to cruise through my shops and straighten things up for the evening. Pretty quiet for BTS time. Suddenly BR comes stomping up to me...
BR: Finally! I've been looking for someone forever! *stares at me expectantly*
MoN: *I see she's got a couple of items of clothing in her hands* Would you like to try those on?
BR: Yes, if it's not too much trouble... *strike number one*
MoN: Certainly, let me get you into a fitting room. *gets her into fitting room*
Now, it should be noted we usually knock on the door one time during the customer's time in the fitting room. Figuring BR would be supremely irritated with me had I done that, I just waited outside the fitting room and straightened while she tried on. She emerges a bit later...
MoN: How'd everything work? *she has one item in her hands, the rest in a holy mess on the floor in the fitting room*
BR: I think I'm going to take this, but I wanna look around.
MoN: Great *enters fitting room, picks up the squalor she left behind, closes fitting room door and begins rehanging the stuff she was too lazy to*
BR: *nearly screaming* Why'd you close the fitting room? I TOLD you I wanted to try more! *strike two*
MoN: Sorry ma'am. I thought you said you wanted to look around and I'm not allowed to leave fitting rooms open without a customer. No problem, I'll stay right here and let you back in.
BR: This is bullshit. *aaaaaand strike three*
BR grabs two more closeby items and stomps over to the fitting room.
BR: I'm ready if you think you can handle opening the room again. *Oh, going for a home run, are we?*
I open the fitting room, let her in. She's out shortly, with the original item clutched in her claws.
MoN: Decided to go with your first choice, ma'am?
BR: Yes, I don't suppose you'll let me take this to the front, you seem to be worried about me taking something with all your bullshit about the fitting room...
MoN: You can certainly carry your purchase to the front, ma'am. *seething*
BR walks around the shop for a bit, yammering on to no one about how much hassle she's gotten tonight. That's when I decided to call in my pinch hitter...
MoN: Ma'am, may I call a manager for you? You seem to have a problem with my service.
BR: *turns purple* NO! *stomps off to annoy someone else*
MoN: *grins*
* * *
So, You're Too Cheap to Pay Shipping
MoN: moi
CPG: Cheap Phone Guy
I hear a page for a phone call to a shop I can help in...
MoN: Thank you for holding, this is MiddleofNowhere, how may I help you?
CPG: Yeah, I'm on ya'lls website and I want to order *fancybrand* shirt
MoN: Okay sir, if you're on our website, did you know you can order from right there?
CPG: Course I do, but I want you to get them for me and I'll pick 'em up. No way I"m paying shipping.
MoN: *sigh, so you are right there, on our online store, and you won't pay our perfectly reasonable and cheap shipping charges* Okay, sir, so you'll pick them up in the store. What's the item again?
CPG: Fancy brand shirt
Now, it should be noted that we carry a couple dozen different styles of *fancy brand* shirts. So, to ensure getting the right shirt, I need more info.
MoN: Okay sir, what is the model or item number of the *fancybrand* shirt?
CPG: I dunno, I just wrote down the name of it.
MoN: Alright sir, what's the name of the shirt? *thinking he'll give me the model name of the shirt and I can track it down from that*
CPG: Fancybrand Shirt
MoN: Yes, that's the brand, but there are many different models or types of that shirt, do you know which one you wanted?
CPG: Christ, I didn't know this would be so hard...just a minute..
MoN: *waits and hears him boot up his computer.... lord, help me. and waits and waits and waits while he grunts and slams his knuckles on the keyboard*
Several minutes pass...
CPG: Model blah-blah of Fancy Brand shirt
MoN: Great sir, what size and what color? *again, we have multiple color options and I need to know what size he needs*
CPG: Jeezus... I didn't know this was going to be such a hassle...
MoN: Sir, I want to make sure we get the right shirt pulled for you.
CPG: Don't you know what you're doing? I just want one damn shirt, I don't know why I called you...
MoN: *grins evilly* Sir, you told me you called the store because you didn't want to pay shipping. I am trying to get your shirt, but you have to answer a few questions for me so I get the right one.
CPG: *roars* This is bullshit *click*
* * *
And those both happened on the same day, along with other stupid tomfoolery. Anyone else have good BTS stories to share?
I say it all the time. I hope it the tone she said it in or theres going to be so many Whiskey related posts :\
I always make a point to be nice to store-worky-people. Even more so now that I've joined this site, as I'm always dreadfully afraid something about me will turn up here. 
I write, my friend Red draws. Comments welcome. Leave them on their, or on my profile here. 
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