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.....or not [?]
Step 1: Wait until you are ready to check out, and then in the loudest and most obnoxious voice, ask questions about sales prices.
(Do you have to but 3 Pepsi 6-packs to get the 3/$9 price?)
Step 2a: Deciding you don't want the product about which you just asked, ask the friendly associate where a similar product is, and let them take you to it.
(Where's the Dr. Pepper?)
Step 2b: Bring the Pepsi you don't want to the portion of the shelf reserved for Dr. Pepper and make the switch. Be sure to leave the Pepsi there saying something like, "The night crew will get it.
(Bonus Points if there is no night crew)
Step 3: Dash back to the register with the words, "Let me get back up front before those rednecks take my spot".
Birthday Bonus
Had a group of six come in for a birthday lunch a few Saturdays ago, and much suckiness ensued:
First, the mother (I'm assuming) of the birthday girl (BG) asked to sit between BG and her friend. BG refused to move and mom just took a seat next to BG. (I don't know how BG responded, but judging from what is to come it was probably not very polite)
I greeted the table and took the drink order, and as I'm making drinks, BG's brother comes up to tell me that it is his sister's birthday and that they want us to sing for her.
They weren't ready to order food, so I do other work stuff. As I wiped off a table behind them, BG's brother said something to upset her so much so that she gets up, walks round the table, and hits him. Upon returning to her seat, BG's mom grabs her and starts hitting her, kind of like spanking, but on the arms. BG begins a crying spat, and is now despondent.
I go to take the order, and get everyones but guess who's? BG sits there insolently glaring at her menu. After about 2 minutes of me standing there looking at her while the other members of her party started giggling (I barely managed to keep a straight face), and while another table is seated, she orders.
Somewhere in the middle of this BG's mom says, "We're never doing this again."
BG asks for a salad with only cheese and croutons. Now our salad is a mixture of lettuce (iceburg and romaine), shredded carrots, and shredded red cabbage. Idiot me, makes the salad with the mixture and cheese and croutons. BG sees this and becomes indignant saying that she didn't want carrots and cabbage in her salad. I remake the salad picking out only the lettuce, and I take it to her, thus assuaging her wrath, at least for now.
Food comes out, they eat, refills, etc. and they're fine for a while. Then it's time for dessert, and I ask what the table if they would like something BG pipes up,"yeah because it's my birthday".
Mom responds, "yes, selfish!" (gee passive aggressive much?)
No desserts were ordered, the birthday song was sung, checks were split, and I was very relieved to bid them a good day, and be rid of them.
Step 1: Wait until you are ready to check out, and then in the loudest and most obnoxious voice, ask questions about sales prices.
(Do you have to but 3 Pepsi 6-packs to get the 3/$9 price?)
Step 2a: Deciding you don't want the product about which you just asked, ask the friendly associate where a similar product is, and let them take you to it.
(Where's the Dr. Pepper?)
Step 2b: Bring the Pepsi you don't want to the portion of the shelf reserved for Dr. Pepper and make the switch. Be sure to leave the Pepsi there saying something like, "The night crew will get it.
(Bonus Points if there is no night crew)
Step 3: Dash back to the register with the words, "Let me get back up front before those rednecks take my spot".
Birthday Bonus
Had a group of six come in for a birthday lunch a few Saturdays ago, and much suckiness ensued:
First, the mother (I'm assuming) of the birthday girl (BG) asked to sit between BG and her friend. BG refused to move and mom just took a seat next to BG. (I don't know how BG responded, but judging from what is to come it was probably not very polite)
I greeted the table and took the drink order, and as I'm making drinks, BG's brother comes up to tell me that it is his sister's birthday and that they want us to sing for her.
They weren't ready to order food, so I do other work stuff. As I wiped off a table behind them, BG's brother said something to upset her so much so that she gets up, walks round the table, and hits him. Upon returning to her seat, BG's mom grabs her and starts hitting her, kind of like spanking, but on the arms. BG begins a crying spat, and is now despondent.
I go to take the order, and get everyones but guess who's? BG sits there insolently glaring at her menu. After about 2 minutes of me standing there looking at her while the other members of her party started giggling (I barely managed to keep a straight face), and while another table is seated, she orders.
Somewhere in the middle of this BG's mom says, "We're never doing this again."
BG asks for a salad with only cheese and croutons. Now our salad is a mixture of lettuce (iceburg and romaine), shredded carrots, and shredded red cabbage. Idiot me, makes the salad with the mixture and cheese and croutons. BG sees this and becomes indignant saying that she didn't want carrots and cabbage in her salad. I remake the salad picking out only the lettuce, and I take it to her, thus assuaging her wrath, at least for now.
Food comes out, they eat, refills, etc. and they're fine for a while. Then it's time for dessert, and I ask what the table if they would like something BG pipes up,"yeah because it's my birthday".
Mom responds, "yes, selfish!" (gee passive aggressive much?)
No desserts were ordered, the birthday song was sung, checks were split, and I was very relieved to bid them a good day, and be rid of them.
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