These Aren’t The Droids You Are Looking For

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A grown man needing daddy's help. Aw, so cute.

I wonder if the "Really?" routine works on his wife.

"So, you mean we REALLY aren't going to have sex tonight?"

"No, we're not. Goodnight, Bill."

"So, you REALLY won't let me mess around with you?"

"Bill, go to sleep. We are not having sex tonight."

"So, we REALLY can't just do it really quick?"

"You're always quick, Bill. The answer is No."

"So, you REALLY aren't-"

SJA:KWHSTMMMHPSSSASSSSHHHH! *wife beats him lifeless over the head with a giant lamp*

Wait! let me call my Dad!

"Why? I already had sex with him today."

You...didn't REALLY have sex with my dad today, did you?

I sure did! We did it twice! Good too! For you doing it twice is rolling over and passing out snoring!

Really?

[Sarcastro]

"Well, you don’t REALLY want to do that, do you?"

"For parking in a fire lane, yes, I will tow his car. "

"Oh, but you don’t REALLY want to, right?"

I... I... No *weep sob cry* I don't want to but the tow truck... it's got a mind of it's own... It demands a sacrifice! But but but if, if you appease it with an offering of $60 then the vehicle will be spared and the truck will find another, suitable to feed its eternal hunger.

[EvilEmpryss]

Sarcastro, I love it! Argabarga needs to name his truck Christine! If he doesn't feed it illegally-parked cars on a regular basis, the truck will tow him down the street!

[Sapphire Silk]

Sarcastro, I love it! Argabarga needs to name his truck Christine! If he doesn't feed it illegally-parked cars on a regular basis, the truck will tow him down the street!

Oh gawd, what an awful movie.

It really boils down to this:

"Do you REALLY want to tow me?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. The more cars I tow, the more money my boss makes, meaning he can keep his business open and me employed. It's all about job security."

[Sparky]

"Well, you don’t REALLY want to do that, do you?"

No. I REALLY want to retire to an island in the Pacific, fly into town on my personal Lear jet for haircuts, lunch, and shopping, and spend my days lying on the beach getting massages by famous, sexy movie starts. Unfortunately, I have to work for a living and my job is towing your idiot son's car.

[EvilEmpryss]

Oh gawd, what an awful movie.

It really boils down to this:

"Do you REALLY want to tow me?"

Argabarga's customers' new theme song, ala the Culture Club's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me":

Give me time to realize my crime
Let me park and steal
I have parked outside the lines
How can I be real

Do you really want to tow me
Do you really want to make me cry
Precious tickets, fines that burn me
Towers never ask you why

In the lot the engine’s revin’
Choose my spot and park my car
Ev’ry spot here is just for me
There’s a spot, but it's too far

Do you really want to tow me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to tow me
Do you really want to make me cry


--- Yes. Yes we do.

[AccountingDrone]

No. I REALLY want to retire to an island in the Pacific, fly into town on my personal Lear jet for haircuts, lunch, and shopping, and spend my days lying on the beach getting massages by famous, sexy movie starts. Unfortunately, I have to work for a living and my job is towing your idiot son's car.

Ya know, if I was Argabarga's boss, I would so be down with him using that to a sucky customer =) That would be a great answer! Only thing better would be to get it on a recording so everybody in the office could hear the idiots reply

[Kristev]

I love all these answers. They're just fantastic!

[Jester]

If I EVER called my parents for something like this, it would not go well....for me.

DAD (if he were alive): "What the fuck are you doing parking in a fire zone?"
STEPDAD: "What the fuck are you thinking, parking in a fire zone? And what do you want ME to do about it?"
MOM: "That's terrible that you're going to be towed, Jester. But what can I do about it? You probably shouldn't have parked there."
(Mom's the really nice one. Obviously.)

Needless to say, I would never call my parents for something like this. Not even the ones who are alive!

That being said, if I were the two truck driver....

"Do you REALLY want to tow my son's car?"

"No, I would much rather be in a hot tub drinking fine Spanish wine and fucking Natalie Portman, but your idiot son insisted on parking in a fire zone, forcing my hand, since it is my job to tow the cars of morons who can't read clearly posted signs of where not to fucking park."

But that's just me.

[Ironclad Alibi]

"Well, you don’t REALLY want to do that, do you?"

My wants don't matter. I do the job I'm paid to do.

[Sapphire Silk]

Argabarga's customers' new theme song, ala the Culture Club's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me":
<snip>

Do you really want to tow me
Do you really want to make me cry
Precious tickets, fines that burn me
Towers never ask you why

<snip>


--- Yes. Yes we do.

You have way too much time on your hands. I need to speak to your professors about giving you more homework.