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NOT.
Rules of the Road
- DO NOT try to fuck with my head by throwing in oddball history questions at me expecting me to know the answers and then giving me flak when it's clear that I don't have a flying fig what the eff you're talking about.
- DO NOT try to fake me out on the number of items you have. For that, you deserved the extra 5-minute wait in line while I had to call up a manager to sort that shit out because you confused me thinking you were being all funny and cutesey by confusing me, and I screwed up your order. My heart is as Gravekeeper intended, a cold barren wasteland hostile to all living things but most especially your precarious predicament. Therefore you shall receive no sympathy from me, for I am evil and mine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
RUN AWAY!
Once again I had the misfortune of encountering a customer whom I remembered from times past, and not in a good way.
Why do I seem to attract the annoying ones? Or is it some universal law that all retail slaves are cursed with? The world may never know.
I Hate You.
Odds are very good that you are the *only* person in the world who thinks that putting your toddler's butt ON THE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE'S STUFF GOES (i.e., the conveyor belt) is even remotely "cute." I hate you not just for this but also because you are close to Someone Important at Ye Olde Slave Store and therefore are beyond reproach, so you can get away with committing this grievous violation against sanitation.
(And yes, I did hose down the belt with cleaning solution as soon as the offenders had left. Guys? You might wanna think about giving your stuff a good bath before eating anything if you buy any foods the next time you're shopping...you never know what's been there before your things!
)
I Hate You Too.
I now understand why senior citizens are so reviled and despised across the board. There are a helluva lot of cranky old bastards out there! (And today they all had to come where I am. Joy.)
Her, I Will Kill And Eat. You, I Like.
A coworker gave me a piece of chocolate.
DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL.
Okay, I take that back. You brought FRESH HOT BREAD from the bakery next door and put it within smelling distance, and I was working and thus could not partake of such glorious culinary delight. VERILY, YOU SHALL PAY.
(I did buy some later on when I had free time. Now I am nomming my breads that I can has. :3 )
Don't Cry For Me Argentina
Yes Virginia, it is *gasp* possible for a person to not date and still be *double gasp* perfectly satisfied with life. Me, I will never be satisfied until I rule the world and have the power to vaporize folks like you with my mind (or at least give you diarrhea), but that's another story, and otherwise I'm doing all right on my own, m'kay?
(Besides, I only attract creepy not-in-a-good-way-weird people and I have certain standards** that are damn near impossible to meet, so yeah. Not wasting my time.)
(Standards = personal requirements that I will never bend, break or compromise on because these are things that are important to me. Observe:
- Be childfree/never want any kids
- Pick up after yourself (I am not your maid. Ever.)
- Etc. as determined by me
So yeah, I ain't easy to live with.
)
I REALLY Hate You.
Found out that I am making less per hour than what I used to make. This...displeases me. A lot.
Yeah, it's only a small discrepancy, but still. I was given the impression that I would be brought back at the same rate as what I had before, and while that wasn't anything special it's sure better than having less. I suppose my moneys went towards adding on all the extra bullshit flyers we retail slaves must now peddle in addition to our regular duties. That would explain a lot...!
Thus concludeth the Book of Suck...for now...!
Rules of the Road
- DO NOT try to fuck with my head by throwing in oddball history questions at me expecting me to know the answers and then giving me flak when it's clear that I don't have a flying fig what the eff you're talking about.
- DO NOT try to fake me out on the number of items you have. For that, you deserved the extra 5-minute wait in line while I had to call up a manager to sort that shit out because you confused me thinking you were being all funny and cutesey by confusing me, and I screwed up your order. My heart is as Gravekeeper intended, a cold barren wasteland hostile to all living things but most especially your precarious predicament. Therefore you shall receive no sympathy from me, for I am evil and mine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
RUN AWAY!
Once again I had the misfortune of encountering a customer whom I remembered from times past, and not in a good way.
Why do I seem to attract the annoying ones? Or is it some universal law that all retail slaves are cursed with? The world may never know.I Hate You.
Odds are very good that you are the *only* person in the world who thinks that putting your toddler's butt ON THE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE'S STUFF GOES (i.e., the conveyor belt) is even remotely "cute." I hate you not just for this but also because you are close to Someone Important at Ye Olde Slave Store and therefore are beyond reproach, so you can get away with committing this grievous violation against sanitation.
(And yes, I did hose down the belt with cleaning solution as soon as the offenders had left. Guys? You might wanna think about giving your stuff a good bath before eating anything if you buy any foods the next time you're shopping...you never know what's been there before your things!
)I Hate You Too.
I now understand why senior citizens are so reviled and despised across the board. There are a helluva lot of cranky old bastards out there! (And today they all had to come where I am. Joy.)
Her, I Will Kill And Eat. You, I Like.
A coworker gave me a piece of chocolate.
DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL.
Okay, I take that back. You brought FRESH HOT BREAD from the bakery next door and put it within smelling distance, and I was working and thus could not partake of such glorious culinary delight. VERILY, YOU SHALL PAY.
(I did buy some later on when I had free time. Now I am nomming my breads that I can has. :3 )
Don't Cry For Me Argentina
Yes Virginia, it is *gasp* possible for a person to not date and still be *double gasp* perfectly satisfied with life. Me, I will never be satisfied until I rule the world and have the power to vaporize folks like you with my mind (or at least give you diarrhea), but that's another story, and otherwise I'm doing all right on my own, m'kay?
(Besides, I only attract creepy not-in-a-good-way-weird people and I have certain standards** that are damn near impossible to meet, so yeah. Not wasting my time.)
(Standards = personal requirements that I will never bend, break or compromise on because these are things that are important to me. Observe:
- Be childfree/never want any kids
- Pick up after yourself (I am not your maid. Ever.)
- Etc. as determined by me
So yeah, I ain't easy to live with.
)I REALLY Hate You.
Found out that I am making less per hour than what I used to make. This...displeases me. A lot.
Yeah, it's only a small discrepancy, but still. I was given the impression that I would be brought back at the same rate as what I had before, and while that wasn't anything special it's sure better than having less. I suppose my moneys went towards adding on all the extra bullshit flyers we retail slaves must now peddle in addition to our regular duties. That would explain a lot...!Thus concludeth the Book of Suck...for now...!
Holy crap, that's a triple bypass on a plate! 
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