I want a "disco box" too.

[Phone Jockey]

Here are a few comments I ran across from my old phone jockey days:

Customer: I turned in my "disco box" the other day. (DIGITAL box???)

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Me: What city do you live in?
Customer: North Carolina.

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Customer: I got my computer today & I'll have it tomorrow.

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Customer: That storm had lightning. The lightning hit my dog, my fence, and my Internet!

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Customer: $30 should equal to $50 if I pay on time. (What kind of math is THAT?)

[Guyver]

My trials

When I was in tech support, it was for a digital satellite company. First for the manufacturer of the equipment, then for the programming provider. Never in my life have I questioned so many times the overall stupidity of the average person.

SC: My TV ain't working.
Me: How is it not working?
SC: Its all black. I can't get it to turn on.
Me: Check the cords to make sure it is still plugged in.
SC: Okay, hold on a second while I get a flashlight, the power went out and it is hard to see back there.

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SC: I can't get a signal.
Me: Your installing it for the first time?
SC: Yes, it is a gift for my in-laws. My husband is on the roof right now trying to position the dish.
Me: Do you know what direction it's supposed to be pointing in?
SC: We do, but it's a little tough to figure it out with the foot of snow on the ground, and it's still coming down pretty good.
Me: Then you should forget the surprise and get your husband off the roof before he falls off.

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SC: Part of the picture is cut off.
Me: What part?
SC: The top, and a little on the bottom.
<we run through a few troubleshooting procedures, I should mention the guy was like 70>
Me: Did that work?
SC: nope, my movie is still cut off.
Me: What channel are you on.
SC: ###, it's a John Wayne movie.
Me, after checking the channel on the TV's they had for us: Sir, the movie is being shown in letterbox. There is nothing wrong with your picture.
SC: Why in the heck would somebody want to see a movie like this.
Me, basically not caring to explain: I don't know sir. Some people are just weird.

[Imogene]

SC: Part of the picture is cut off.
Me: What part?
SC: The top, and a little on the bottom.
<we run through a few troubleshooting procedures, I should mention the guy was like 70>
Me: Did that work?
SC: nope, my movie is still cut off.
Me: What channel are you on.
SC: ###, it's a John Wayne movie.
Me, after checking the channel on the TV's they had for us: Sir, the movie is being shown in letterbox. There is nothing wrong with your picture.
SC: Why in the heck would somebody want to see a movie like this.
Me, basically not caring to explain: I don't know sir. Some people are just weird.

Who is it sadder for, him that he didn't know about Widescreen, or me for knowing before the guy started to explain that he was watching a widescreen movie?
Oh, my gods! I understand the customers!
*grabs a hammer, starts bashing hir head*

Yes, yes, kids, don't try this at home, and CS does NOT support violence. But I'm inflicting it upon myself!

[Becks]

SC: My TV ain't working.
Me: How is it not working?
SC: Its all black. I can't get it to turn on.
Me: Check the cords to make sure it is still plugged in.
SC: Okay, hold on a second while I get a flashlight, the power went out and it is hard to see back there.

Yes, I KNOW people can be and ARE that stupid, but my brain just can't handle it. I sincerely hope that person didn't breed.