The smidgeon chronicles

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

One of the more confusing things about my job is that different people will request the same thing using the same general term and expect different things.

For example: "A little bit of lettuce" could be vastly different amounts depending on who is ordering the sandwich. Same goes for "just a few pickles" or what have you.

My favourite one so far was this guy who asked for a "smidgeon" of mayo. So I put about a half strip of mayo on it for him.

SC: Whoa! Whoa! That's too much! Don't you know what a smidgeon is?
(apparently not)
Me: You only wanted a little right?
SC: Yes and you put on too damned much. I refuse to eat that.
Me: (*sigh* I throw it out and start over and when I get to the mayo...)
SC: Now be careful, only put on a SMIDGEON, just a smidgeon.

I proceed to squeeze the mayo as softly as I possibly can, resulting in a ridiculously thin film of mayo on the sandwich.

SC: There! Now that was that so hard?

Grrr....

Toasted vs. Nearly burnt

A customer came in for a refund on a sandwich he claimed "wasn't toasted". To his credit he wasn't one of those idiots who eats the whole thing before complaining, there was only two bites of it gone.

I told him I did indeed toast his sandwich (in fact it was a type of sandwich which is REQUIRED to be toasted so I know damned well I did it). He doesn't believe me and says even if I did toast it it couldn't have been for more than a few seconds (Note: someone else ordered this for him, he wasn't there when I made it). So we get into a discussion about what exactly toasted means and evidently to him toasted to him means extremely crisped. I gave him a refund (which policy allows me too) which he accepted and warned me that "I better get it right next time."
which made me suddenly wonder if I am a sandwich guy or a mob lackey?

[Shalom]

So what you need is a set of these:



Observe the third one from the top.

(Bought those in a local job-lot closeout place. Funny thing is, they're real Farberware Professional. I included the penny so you can get an idea of the size.)

[chainedbarista]

i hate dickheads who use non terms for amounts; tells you jack shit about what they're looking for.

as for the toasted, same applies; next time, make sure it's crispy-charcoal crispy.

[Mikkel]

(Bought those in a local job-lot closeout place. Funny thing is, they're real Farberware Professional. I included the penny so you can get an idea of the size.)

I found this: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/One_dash_o...many_teaspoons

Print it and measure it next time .

[bainsidhe]

I like mayo, but only if it doesn't squirt out of the sandwich while I'm eating it, otherwise it tastes like I'm drowning in mayo *yuck*. I try to make it very clear that I want very very very very light mayo, like it's hardly there. I avoid one of the "artists" because she still slathers on a half-cup mayo for a foot-long. This isn't the same store chain as yours, so they use spatulas instead of the tubes. None of the other workers have ever had a problem understanding what I mean, just the one. Add to that, the counter is very high so I can't see how they're assembling the sandwich until it's wrapped up and I take it home. I've also gotten to the point where I ask for a specific number of veggies. For example, I'll ask for 3 tomatoes instead of "light tomatoes". One worker will understand light to be 3-5 tomatoes and another will put 12 on the sandwich. *shrugs*

[RetailDemon]

My grandma uses all the non terms, but apparently, in the part of Scotland she's from, there's more, and she brought them with her to America! She uses "doot", "dibble", "dallop" (ok, I've heard that one before), and "scotche". Try following her recipes- it's impossible!

[Mondestrucken]

When I was a fabric cutter at Joann Fabrics, I would get people who would want me to cut "some" fabric from a bolt. How much? Oh, a pretty big piece. So, I would have to explain that it was sold by the yard. If I cut more than they needed, they would pay too much. If I cut too little, they would have to come back to get more. And we might be out by then.

So. How. Much?


Idiots.

[Sheldonrs]

Remember, in the OP the two SCs are male. If we can't figure out that 1 inch is not equal to 1 foot, how are we supposed to know other measurments?

[jedimaster91]

So what you need is a set of these:

WANT!!

My grandma uses all the non terms, but apparently, in the part of Scotland she's from, there's more, and she brought them with her to America! She uses "doot", "dibble", "dallop" (ok, I've heard that one before), and "scotche". Try following her recipes- it's impossible!

When I was a wee little Padawan my grandmother taught me how to cook by using the "looks/smells/tastes right" method. It drives my mom crazy. The first time I try a new recipie, I follow the directions. Then I play.

[chainedbarista]

i do the 'smells right' with spices and it usually turns out just fine; i've heard those terms before, with the exception of 'doot.'

honey, it's just a 'doot' o' butter, doncha know?

[Shalom]

My grandma uses all the non terms, but apparently, in the part of Scotland she's from, there's more, and she brought them with her to America! She uses "doot", "dibble", "dallop" (ok, I've heard that one before), and "scotche". Try following her recipes- it's impossible!

I've been told that the last of those is Japanese. "Sukoshi" = small amount.

WANT!!

http://cgi.ebay.com/New-Farberware-P...-/250720076147

They're also on Amazon, but those are different sets (one has a hint instead of a nip, for example).

[Red_Dazes]

I know anymore when I cook I use the "That looks right" Method... 1Tablespoon...*shake shake shake shake* Yeah that looks about right. My mom hates it. but my food turns out GOOD

[bsaana]

WANT!!



When I was a wee little Padawan my grandmother taught me how to cook by using the "looks/smells/tastes right" method. It drives my mom crazy. The first time I try a new recipie, I follow the directions. Then I play.

I do that all the time as well. It drives my wife completely insane. My mother got us a set of those spoons so that my wife could measure out smidgeons.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I know anymore when I cook I use the "That looks right" Method... 1Tablespoon...*shake shake shake shake* Yeah that looks about right. My mom hates it. but my food turns out GOOD

I am the exact same way. Power to the non OCD people!

[Bradester]

I have that set of non-standard measuring spoons, except it has a 'tad' instead of a 'nip.' I think I got them at Bed Bath and Beyond- they may have even come with my set of tea/tablespoons. The only recipes that have necessitated dashes and pinches have come from some old cookbooks of my grandma's.