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For background, I work in security. Specifically, I'm Mobile, which means I drive around in one of those white cars marked 'Security', and patrol various buildings on schedules patrols, as well as respond to alarms (Basically several alarm companies contract out to us for response. They get an alarm, contact us, one of us gets dispatched to go check things out)
HOWEVER, some people seem to have trouble with what Security is an isn't, exactly, and so here I hope to clarify.
1. I am not a taxi: This is, bizarrely, the list topper. I'm ALWAYS being flagged down like I was a taxi, and getting cat-butt faces when I don't stop. When I'm stopped, I get approached. And... it's not a case of mistaken identity. They always clearly ask me "Mr. Security Man, can I get a ride?" or "Hey, Security, how would you like to make $20?"
... Aside from the fact that I'm a commercial vehicle, and carrying passengers without the proper license would be illegal, AND be against company policy, AND I'm carry sensitive materials in my car, not the least of which is keys to half the lockboxes in the city... I'M NOT A TAXI! Security has never been in the business of giving rides to random people downtown, nor do I see that changing anytime soon!
... Yes, I'm a dick for refusing to put my job and safety on the line so you don't have to shell out for a cab. Naturally.
2. I am not psychic. YOU entered the building. YOU set off the alarm. YOU neglected to call the alarm company and tell them it was a false alarm. Do NOT get pissy when I show up and require ID! I don't care if you think I 'should have known it was a false alarm'
3. I am still not a taxi.
4. I am not running a shelter. I know the shelters in Edmonton are insufficient, and I'm fully aware that the homeless situation in the city is dismal. I'm sympathetic. I've located several resources for homeless people that I can direct them to should they be desperate.
That being said, the situation STILL doesn't entitle you to camp out in the stairwell of my building. I've got no problem with those who go quietly, and I'll wish them a good evening, and if there's anything I can do, I will. But if you want to get in my face and try and make my problems yours, I assure you I can add to your list.
5. Nope, still not a Taxi. Jumping out into the road and physically blocking me is not going to entice me to give you a ride. You're just lucky that I don't (yet) consider running you down worth the trouble of the paperwork.
6. I am not running a skateboard park. Parkades make great places to skateboard/bike, don't they? Except, perhaps, the numerous blind corners and cars. I'd be perfectly happy to let you make yourself a splatter under the wheels of one of the jerks who roar up these things at 60 km/h, but,again, paperwork.
7. Even if you did manage to get the back door of my car open, it STILL wouldn't make me a taxi. I have a maglite in here that has 8 (Dead) D cell batteries in it. Don't make me use it to dislodge you from my car door.
8. I am not parking enforcement. That's done by the city, in specially marked 'Parking Enforcement' cars. Yelling at me, swearing and waving a ticket, and then roaring off accomplishes nothing but make you look like a douche. Not that it would do much more if I were a parking enforcement officer.
9. Not. A. Taxi. Go over there and ask that cop. I'm SURE he'll give you a ride somewhere, given your BREATH is 80 proof.
10. I am not running a public toilet. Look, I know people pee on buildings. Especially when there are bars nearby. But honestly... I'm parked RIGHT THERE. What do you think I'm gonna do when you walk right past me, unzip and let fly on my building? And, to the gentleman who insists on peeing on the front doors of one of my buildings... you are an asshole. The city has provided public toilets directly across the street. You can see them in the reflection of the glass you're peeing on. And no, you don't get bonus points for managing to get it between the doors and onto the mat inside.
... Not even gonna go into the turds.
HOWEVER, some people seem to have trouble with what Security is an isn't, exactly, and so here I hope to clarify.
1. I am not a taxi: This is, bizarrely, the list topper. I'm ALWAYS being flagged down like I was a taxi, and getting cat-butt faces when I don't stop. When I'm stopped, I get approached. And... it's not a case of mistaken identity. They always clearly ask me "Mr. Security Man, can I get a ride?" or "Hey, Security, how would you like to make $20?"
... Aside from the fact that I'm a commercial vehicle, and carrying passengers without the proper license would be illegal, AND be against company policy, AND I'm carry sensitive materials in my car, not the least of which is keys to half the lockboxes in the city... I'M NOT A TAXI! Security has never been in the business of giving rides to random people downtown, nor do I see that changing anytime soon!
... Yes, I'm a dick for refusing to put my job and safety on the line so you don't have to shell out for a cab. Naturally.
2. I am not psychic. YOU entered the building. YOU set off the alarm. YOU neglected to call the alarm company and tell them it was a false alarm. Do NOT get pissy when I show up and require ID! I don't care if you think I 'should have known it was a false alarm'
3. I am still not a taxi.
4. I am not running a shelter. I know the shelters in Edmonton are insufficient, and I'm fully aware that the homeless situation in the city is dismal. I'm sympathetic. I've located several resources for homeless people that I can direct them to should they be desperate.
That being said, the situation STILL doesn't entitle you to camp out in the stairwell of my building. I've got no problem with those who go quietly, and I'll wish them a good evening, and if there's anything I can do, I will. But if you want to get in my face and try and make my problems yours, I assure you I can add to your list.
5. Nope, still not a Taxi. Jumping out into the road and physically blocking me is not going to entice me to give you a ride. You're just lucky that I don't (yet) consider running you down worth the trouble of the paperwork.
6. I am not running a skateboard park. Parkades make great places to skateboard/bike, don't they? Except, perhaps, the numerous blind corners and cars. I'd be perfectly happy to let you make yourself a splatter under the wheels of one of the jerks who roar up these things at 60 km/h, but,again, paperwork.
7. Even if you did manage to get the back door of my car open, it STILL wouldn't make me a taxi. I have a maglite in here that has 8 (Dead) D cell batteries in it. Don't make me use it to dislodge you from my car door.
8. I am not parking enforcement. That's done by the city, in specially marked 'Parking Enforcement' cars. Yelling at me, swearing and waving a ticket, and then roaring off accomplishes nothing but make you look like a douche. Not that it would do much more if I were a parking enforcement officer.
9. Not. A. Taxi. Go over there and ask that cop. I'm SURE he'll give you a ride somewhere, given your BREATH is 80 proof.
10. I am not running a public toilet. Look, I know people pee on buildings. Especially when there are bars nearby. But honestly... I'm parked RIGHT THERE. What do you think I'm gonna do when you walk right past me, unzip and let fly on my building? And, to the gentleman who insists on peeing on the front doors of one of my buildings... you are an asshole. The city has provided public toilets directly across the street. You can see them in the reflection of the glass you're peeing on. And no, you don't get bonus points for managing to get it between the doors and onto the mat inside.
... Not even gonna go into the turds.
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