Important things to remember if you're staying at a hotel...

[ShugoAC]

Hey guys.. Been awhile since I posted but I wanted to share a quick guide to staying at a hotel for anyone who may be traveling anytime soon. This will decrease the stress level of both you and the poor schlub behind the front desk. Warning... this is a little long.


1) Do not unload your car before checking in.

I don't know who told 80% of people who check in that you must unload everything you own, wake up all the screaming babies, and drag everything to the front desk to check in. Believe it or not .......... it's not necessary. Leave all of that in the car and let the kids obliviously sleep through the check in process.

Your room is not at the front desk. Even if it isn't a motel you're checking into there still may be other access points to your room that will save you a great deal of walking and hassle.

And don't give me a catbutt face when you do unload everything and everyone and I tell you to put it all back because you have to drive to your room. "Well why didn't you tell me????!!1" Because you failed to come in and ask, I'm not running outside 500x a day to tell you folks to stop this silly practice.

2) Have a valid photo ID or passport and the credit card you used to make the reservation ready to go.

You see I have a lobby full of other check ins... you hear me as for the same thing 5x before you get the front desk. And still somehow you have to spend 5 minutes digging through the wad of stuff in your wallet / gargantuan purse. If you have that ready when you get called to the desk we all get to relax that much faster.

3) Deposits.

Yes... we charge them.
Yes, most hotels will charge one if you don't have a credit card.
Yes if you've stayed at this hotel before you had to pay one.
No, I'm not going to let it slide because sometime in the past some dude/chick didn't charge you one.
Yes, if you don't want us to have a copy of your credit card then I want a fairly large chunk of cash as a guarantee that you're not going to go on a wild weekend and break our stuff and leave us holding the bill.
No, yelling at me will not make me bend on this.
Yes, I understand you're a "Regular!!!!1" but since we had a "Regular!!!!!1" recently write his name on the wall in feces we're charging everyone.

4) Problems with your reservation.

You've made your reservation through http://www.imacheapassandwanttospend...aspossible.com and are amazed your reservation didn't come through properly. I understand, it blows my mind you used them too. However, yelling at me (the underpaid front desk agent) is probably not going to mystically make the reservation appear. It hasn't worked even once so far since i've been working here. And yes, i checked every possible way of finding your reservation before I inwardly groaned and told you we didn't have it.

When i suggest that you, maybe, give the company you booked with a call... that's probably cause it's the only way you're going to get a room here without crowbar-ing open your wallet and handing me a credit card to charge.

5) Getting to your room.

If you were paying any attention at all to the check in process you would have noticed that, having had this issue crop up before, the front desk agent gave you a map of the property. On that map that you have clutched in your talons, you'll notice arrows and circles and a paragraph on the back explaining each. This is to direct you to your room. And magically those arrows start from where you happen to be standing.

I know!

It's amazing!

However... sadly most people cant understand basic directions so I look forward to you dragging all of your bags back to the front desk so I can once again explain how to get to your room.

And yes... the room does f*$%king exist.

6) Key cards.

I hate key cards. I truly do... And this is not because of the nature of a key card, but because people are stupid with them.

Key cards are magnetic strips. Just like a credit card... only not as permanent. And when you slap them right next to your ringing cell phone or slid it into your magnetic wallet..... They're dead. And we get to see each other again.

This concept is beyond at least half the people who are given key cards.

Also, if said key cards do not work in your door because of your cellphone the proper response is *NOT* to storm the front desk and throw them at the front desk agents face. As gratifying at that may be for your temper tantrum it is only going to make your happy front desk agent very very unhappy and probably make them kick you out. Yeah we can do that

7) Drinking at our bar.

We welcome guests to drink at our bar and have fun. However when that progresses from having fun to being a drunk asshole.. Dont be surprised when we escort you from the bar and to your room. You're done for the night. And yes.. If you then go to your room and drink more then proceed to wander the property and hit on anything female.... we will have our security officer physically take you back to your room and warn you that the next time the cops are going to throw you out on the highway.

You dont believe us... *sigh*

Well i hope you enjoy sleeping in your car in front of the pizza place across the street, because I just called the cops. And no.. you get no refund. And you're on the DNR too.

8) Using the free airport shuttle.

Our shuttle is not 24hrs. It never has been, never will be. Why? Because the 3-4 reservations we *might* get at 3am aren't worth paying for a driver, the tolls, the airport fees for each time we go there and then gas. So it's from XX hrs to XX hrs. Always has been.

You made a reservation because we had a shuttle, didn't check to make sure it was 24hrs (just assumed) even though it says on our website the hours of operation and now are mad at me because I'm telling you that you have to take a taxi? Life's rough. It's gonna be rougher too when you have to pay $25 for a taxi. And no, i'm not paying for your taxi... A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.

And the other half of the coin........

You didn't make a reservation for the shuttle going back to the airport, other people filled it up, and now you're yelling at me because you're going to be late? How is this my fault? The shuttle isn't magicked like that harry potter car... it fits only 10 people with luggage and it's maxed out.

Finally...

9) Calling for a guest at our hotel... a million times.

Stop it. You called, I transferred, you got voice mail, leave a message. I have no idea why the guest opted to not answer your phone call, it could be any reason under the sun. However, powering dialing the front desk again to have us try again is going to quickly upset the person who has to transfer you.

No, we wont go knock on the door/burst in and tell them to take your call. Leave a message like a normal human being and wait for a return call. Hell, leave a message with me at the desk and I'll pass it along if I see them.

And yes, once i recognize your voice and have transferred 50+ calls to this room in a 8hr shift i have the authority to deny any further attempts from you to reach that room. You're cut off.


If you follow these basic guidelines your stay at any hotel will be much better and you will cause much less frustration in the staff.

Shugo

[Mystic]

I agree with all except #4. Nothing wrong when looking for the best deal you can; especially in this economy...

[ShugoAC]

I understand that too.. But not all websites are as legit as an Expedia or a hotels.com. Sometimes we get reservations from really wacky websites that make me wonder how people even found them.

In the end you get what you pay for somewhere along the process.. and since the hotel doesnt change what you get regardless ... well.. there you are.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Oh there is nothing wrong with looking for a better deal in this economy, but what ShugoAC is saying that if you book through cheapasshotels.com and the hotel you reserved didn't get the reservation...

Then it is not the hotel's fault. It is the fault of cheapasshotels.com for not sending and that you should call them and bitch at them...not the hotel.

After all the hotel would not be on cheapasshotels.com if they didn't want the business from the webservices and thus would not just toss out the reservation.

As for the rest of it?

I've no problems with those rules. In fact those are the rules I go by. I come in polite, I treat the clerks with respect, I treat the room as if it were my own (I usually make sure that the trash is picked up and in the trash cans before I leave), and leave on good terms fully knowing that if they ever see me at that hotel again, they'll have no reason to think ill of me.

Funny how that seems to get me treated with a smile and respect at this one hotel I frequent.

[Andara Bledin]

Key cards are magnetic strips. Just like a credit card... only not as permanent. And when you slap them right next to your ringing cell phone or slid it into your magnetic wallet..... They're dead. And we get to see each other again.

I regularly keep my keycard next to my cellphone. I've yet to ever have one go dead. *shrug*

However, when a key has failed to operate properly, I do what the sane person does, which is to shuffle my way back to the desk and ask for a new one, with ID at the ready. Turns out that they'd set them to expire a day early that time. Oops.

^-.-^

[superhotelworker]

You are my damned hero *printed out your post to show DarlinAngel*

[Mr Hero]

1) Do not unload your car before checking in.
2) Have a valid photo ID or passport and the credit card you used to make the reservation ready to go.
3) Deposits.
4) Problems with your reservation.
5) Getting to your room.
6) Key cards.
7) Drinking at our bar.
8) Using the free airport shuttle.
9) Calling for a guest at our hotel... a million times.

1. I haven't worked at a hotel large enough that this one bothers me. I see the reasoning in it. My friend was in town for a wedding I was hanging out with his wife and kids when they checked in. He checked in without unloading luggage. Turns out his room was close to an elevator and said elevator was close to another entrance.

2. I haven't experienced this with photo ID's, but our forms all require license plate numbers. Yet, even though I ask for it, the person right behind them in line will be surprised when I ask them for a plate number as well.

3. No, we're not racist for requiring them. No, I did not print out the sign real quick before you entered the hotel. The sign was up before you got here, so how can it be racist?

4. This usually happens with one specific company. Sometimes their reservations come through. Sometimes they don't.

5. My hotel isn't large enough for this to be a huge issue, but when I say take a LEFT, I do not mean for you to take a RIGHT. No, I said LEFT damnit!

6. I usually ask them if they've had it near a cell phone? Most people don't seem to grasp the concept until we educate them. Some people may still not get it, but now it's because of stupidity instead of ignorance.

7 and 8. My hotel doesn't have these, so I have no gripes to go along with them. I feel your pain though.

9. Yes, this needs to stop. I get so sick of hearing the same voice asking for the same room. I tend to get suspicious when that happens because in one instance at a previous hotel, this was because the room had a meth lab.

You are my damned hero *printed out your post to show DarlinAngel*

There's only allowed to be one Hero.

[bhskittykatt]

1) Hubby and I call this "the luggage thing". My parents do it all the time! I don't know why.

2) I love the people who have no idea where they put their driver's license. They spend literally 5 minutes digging through their wallet/purse/car to find it. I always wonder what would happen if they ever got pulled over.

3) Our motel doesn't require deposits or credit cards. We get taken advantage of this all the time.

4) We only associate with Orbitz, and haven't had trouble with that. However, I must add that when you make an online reservation, adding a request to the comments does not mean we can automatically grant that request. For example, it's 10pm on a weekend night and you call me wanting a room on the quiet side. I don't have one, so you hang up and book a room online, and type the request in. Then you check-in and yell at me because you didn't get the request. Hint: just 'cause you typed it doesn't make it magically appear.

5) Our motel has a fairly simple layout. Still, I've actually had to walk people to rooms that were just a couple doors down from the office, usually 'cause they were too drunk to figure out even the simplest of tasks.

6) Oh yes, keycards. When they demagnetize, holy crap, all hell breaks loose! It happens, and it takes 5 seconds to reprogram it, you don't need to freak out about it!

7) We have no bar here, or even food service.

8) No shuttle, though some SCs say we should have one. We're a budget motel. Why the hell would we have a shuttle? Call a cab, cheapass!

9) I had a lady the other night who called her son 30+ times during my shift...she knew his room number, and could have easily entered it on our phone menu, and I explained this to her, but she insisted on going through me. Once, his phone was busy, and instead of calling back later, she kept asking me, "Why is his phone busy? Who is he talking to? Why is he on the phone?" Crap, I dunno, I'm not psychic! All I can tell you is that the line is busy! She would not call back later and insisted on staying on the phone until his line disconnected. (Found out later he was on the phone ordering a pizza. )

[Sapphire Silk]

Pity that kid ordering the pizza. If that were my mom, I'd be embarrassed.

I never use the hotel phone. If someone needs to reach me, I give my cell number. I don't even pay attention to the hotel phone and would probably miss a voice mail.

[jedikuonji]

The key cards, oh the key cards.

I usually joke about it and ask them if they've exposed it to anything like a cell phone, oxygen, or sunlight. Often gets a laugh and I explain the magnetic issues. But yea, this happens all the time. It's worse when it's an employee (we also have magnetic door cards) who knows better but still keeps doing it. I swear, I get 1 key and it lasts till expiration, some people go through 5 in a week...I would stop giving them out but it would just mean having to buzz them in when they ring the door bell.

[dalesys]

... On that map that you have clutched in your talons, you'll notice arrows and circles and a paragraph on the back explaining each. This is to direct you to your room. And magically those arrows start from where you happen to be standing.

You left out the plaster-of-paris dog-sniffing prints, that's why they're lost.

[Justsomegirl]

The one time we took all of our luggage in with us when we checked it.... Ok it was thundering real bad and was going to rain at an min. We figered and knew we could walk through the hotel. The nice person pulled up our pre paid room info (my father in-law paid for our room and he had checke in earlier that day) and gave us the key. The nice person told us how to make our way though the maize to our room. Yes, we listened found our room with no problem, and went to bed. Oh and when we got to our room we looked out the window and it was not poring cats and dogs.

[Sliceanddice]

1) Hubby and I call this "the luggage thing". My parents do it all the time! I don't know why.

i actually think i know this one!

Old movies.

See in old movies where they stay at a hotel it was all contained in one building so you would bring your luggage to check in, and then as time progressed they kept doing it in movies cause it gave the viewer an idea of the stay.

(this next part i swear to god watch a verity of movies with hotel scenes this always happens)
Joe has one suitcase. Hes either an assassin, a business man, serial killed or a hotel reviewer.
Mary has 10. OMG shes a typical woman.
Marty and Janet have 4 bags and no kids. Depending on their clothing they are either on their honey moon, business trip or on some kind of escape.


the public sees this and thinks in the back of their little heads 'oh! i need my luggage to check in!' then you get no matter the environment- Luggage!

[alogram]

AND people, we do NOT store your credit card information, your social security number, blah blah blah on the key cards. It ONLY has info pertaining to your room number and the number of days you will be staying.

I can not begin to tell you the number of people who would insist that I destroy their cards when they checked out because OMFG. SOMEONE WILL STEAL MY IDENTITY!

HOW THE HELL would anyone even get that info off the card?

My brain...it hurts.

[Mr Hero]

AND people, we do NOT store your credit card information, your social security number, blah blah blah on the key cards. It ONLY has info pertaining to your room number and the number of days you will be staying.

I can not begin to tell you the number of people who would insist that I destroy their cards when they checked out because OMFG. SOMEONE WILL STEAL MY IDENTITY!

HOW THE HELL would anyone even get that info off the card?

My brain...it hurts.

This. Very much this! I get this every once and a while. I just humor them. I say we will erase the info on the key cards. Which we do. It just doesn't have the info they're worried about.