Are you there beer? It's me, Irv

[Ironclad Alibi]

Regarding the title, I think Judy Blume (a fellow Key Wester, by the way) would be proud.

I had to look up Judy Blume to get the reference. I'm thought the thread title was a parody of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler.

[wolfie]

And still later, I answer the call box for seasonal, and deal with a brood of cackling old hens wanting to know why one of our Christmas light has bulbs in six colors (red, green, blue, amber, white and purple) pictured on the label, but the sets of lights themselves do not have the purple bulbs. I try to explain to them that perhaps the manufacturer made a mistake with a picture. So naturally they make me open up every single set of those lights until they can find one with purple bulbs. Incredibly, this proves unsuccessful.

LED or incandescent? If incandescent, the manufacturer of the strings might have switched to a different bulb supplier who didn't sell purple bulbs. If LED, I have no idea where they got the purple bulbs for the picture. As a rule, it's cheaper to make an LED with a long wavelength than one with a short wavelength. Red, amber, and green are quite cheap. Blue is a bit more expensive (white is blue with a phosphor painted onto it to absorb part of the blue light and re-emit it at longer wavelengths), while purple is an extremely expensive LED.

[Jester]

I had to look up Judy Blume to get the reference. I'm thought the thread title was a parody of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler.

Which itself was a parody of the Blume book, though by now I am sure you figured that out on your own.

Okay, back to Weekend Off Havoc....

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I thought all women were concerned about width.

There are those who like a good balance on length as well as width.

[chainedbarista]

Why, oh why must people obsess over such stupid shit at the holidays? Just kick back, bake some cookies, have some eggnog. Preferably spiked heavily with Xanax d-con.

fixed for accuracy.

[laborcat]

Can I? Can I? Can I? I'd be more than happy to bake cookies...

[chainedbarista]

There are those who like a good balance on length as well as width.

useful, but it's best when the owner actually knows how to use it.

[Primer]

useful, but it's best when the owner actually knows how to use it.

Quoted for truth!!!