Strange admissions & confusing "logic"

[Phone Jockey]

Customer: Hi, this is Mrs. Jones. I’m high. (yes, she really said that)

*********************************

Customer: I went to see “your lady” and she said she didn’t know anything about no discount so I had to go all the way back home and dig in my trash.

*********************************

Customer: My box doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work one more time, I’m just going to throw it out! (Oh yeah, that makes sense)

*********************************

(I swear my response to this guy was just an automatic response. I wasn't saying it to be snide, but it sounds like I was...HA!)
Customer: All right now, Emilie, if you don’t watch out, I’ll have your job!
Me: You can have it, sir!

[Becks]

Customer: Hi, this is Mrs. Jones. I’m high. (yes, she really said that)

You didn't ask if she was willing to share?

[Knightmare]

(I swear my response to this guy was just an automatic response. I wasn't saying it to be snide, but it sounds like I was...HA!)
Customer: All right now, Emilie, if you don’t watch out, I’ll have your job!
Me: You can have it, sir!

This is exactly what I say when SCs say that to me. I may also add: "...That way, you'll know what it's like to deal with people like you." But only if they really pissed me off.
But the last time I said it, it was jokingly, with a regular customer, and I said "You can have it! Here's the keys, I'll be at the bar down the street."

[Phone Jockey]

This is exactly what I say when SCs say that to me.
But the last time I said it, it was jokingly, with a regular customer, and I said "You can have it! Here's the keys, I'll be at the bar down the street."

Indeed, I wasn't trying to be mean, just trying to get a laugh. I think I did.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Customer: My box doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work one more time, I’m just going to throw it out! (Oh yeah, that makes sense)

Actually, I can sympathize a little bit with this person. I'm at that stage right now with my (DLink) router. Sometimes it works great, sometimes it will work for 10 minutes before crapping out and needing to be restarted (usually when I'm playing WoW ) and yesterday, it wouldn't work at all in the afternoon. I went upstairs, looked at it, and tried it again. Stupid pile of crap worked perfectly.

[Geek King]

Actually, I can sympathize a little bit with this person. I'm at that stage right now with my (DLink) router. Sometimes it works great, sometimes it will work for 10 minutes before crapping out and needing to be restarted (usually when I'm playing WoW ) and yesterday, it wouldn't work at all in the afternoon. I went upstairs, looked at it, and tried it again. Stupid pile of crap worked perfectly.

Two days ago I had a lady call out to me while I was working on another issue accross the room. It seems her monitor was going yellow on her. I looked and it was ok. I went back to work. She calls to me again. Again, I look, and it's fixed. Repeat several times.

I offered to get her a picture of me to set next to it.

Of course, the monitor died the next day.