A little tiny suck

[Kristev]

Along with the answers to the statements underneath:

It must be free:
The only thing free, if you take it, is your ride to jail.

You look bored:
That's because you're less exciting than the Pointer Sisters.

Just printed it:
Then I can't accept it. Please prepare your debit card because your money is, literally, no good here.

Working hard or hardly working:
Well I was working hard, until you interrupted me.

[Canarr]

I've been tempted to make a tally board to put by my register with the most popular "cute remarks" listed.

I think it was the Gord who once mentioned the idea of putting up a "Number of days management didn't have to deal with idiots:" sign. Then, when confronted by a moronic customer, he'd sigh and flip the numbers back to 0.

Or, at least, he had the idea...