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Because I want my vag to smell like Christmas...

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  • #46
    I honestly don't see the point of douche. The vagina is a self cleaning system, plus washing properly should get rid of any weird smells. Wearing cotton undies is a good idea as well, man-made material doesn't breathe as well.
    The report button - not just for decoration

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    • #47
      BEST
      THREAD
      EVER!!!!

      In all seriousness though, if you're really *that* concerned about the state of your vagina, I'd say it's time to re-evaluate your life as a whole. I'm just saying.
      Last edited by NightAngel; 01-28-2007, 03:43 PM. Reason: Excessive Font Size
      "This is the first time I've seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!"

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      • #48
        Quoth iradney View Post
        I honestly don't see the point of douche. The vagina is a self cleaning system, plus washing properly should get rid of any weird smells. Wearing cotton undies is a good idea as well, man-made material doesn't breathe as well.
        Self cleaning? So does it need to heat up to 700 degrees like my oven does?

        Sorry, couldn't resist.
        "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

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        • #49
          Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
          What's next? Buffalo wings scent for the guy's benefit?
          Quoth thegiraffe View Post
          Buffalo wings? How about beer for the guys?

          That oughta keep 'em coming back for more lol.
          Damn it, Giraffe! You stole my line!

          Quoth Barefootgirl View Post
          I don't suppose pine would sting any worse than any other scent, but its a sad reflection that a woman would be so afraid of smelling like - well, like a woman - that she thinks her bits should be pine-scented instead !
          I have to comment on this. Yes, a woman's natural smell is, well natural. And I (and most guys I know) have zero problem with this. But....and this cannot be overstated....not every woman has that natural smell. Some of them, sadly, are.....funky. And if they want to cover up that smell, I can understand it. Though I think most guys would agree there is a benefit to that funk "not so fresh" smell. It's called "sounding an alarm." If it smells like wahoo, then pass on the screw.

          Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
          You know, actually, according to the two last OBGyn's I've visited, you're really not supposed to use douche's at all anymore because they can wash away the natural bacteria as well...I asked them, "Why are they still making them?" And they both answered - they are created by men!
          It is not even that. It is the fact that these products make people money. And to (once again) quote the infinitely wise George Carlin, “If you nail two things together that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it from you.” Basically, they are selling it because idiots (i.e. us consumers) are buying it. Not safe? Not good for you? When in the history of American capitalistic commerce has that EVER stopped ANYONE?

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

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          • #50
            Quoth JuniorMintz View Post
            BEST
            THREAD
            EVER!!!!
            I'm honoured. I had no idea that lovely thought would make such a popular topic...
            Last edited by NightAngel; 01-28-2007, 03:44 PM.
            Discourtesy Clerk, purveyor of fine hay bales, pine scented douche and stuff that's not in bins since July 2006.

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            • #51
              Quoth thegiraffe View Post
              Buffalo wings? How about beer for the guys?
              I dunno...body temperature beer smell? Yick. Maybe a nice spiced rum?

              Quoth Jester View Post
              If it smells like wahoo, then pass on the screw.
              How about Yoohoo?

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              • #52
                Quoth Kusanagi View Post
                Self cleaning? So does it need to heat up to 700 degrees like my oven does?

                Sorry, couldn't resist.
                um....uh....well....
                j/k - but imagine how weird it would be if it DID
                The report button - not just for decoration

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                • #53
                  Hmmm....easy bake chacha.....We could make fish sticks!

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                  • #54
                    Quoth AFpheonix View Post
                    Hmmm....easy bake chacha.....We could make fish sticks!
                    noooooooooooooooooooo! that's just wrong! 700 degrees is too high, they'll be all rubbery and stuff!
                    The report button - not just for decoration

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                    • #55
                      Quoth Kusanagi View Post
                      Self cleaning? So does it need to heat up to 700 degrees like my oven does?

                      Sorry, couldn't resist.
                      Can you imagine the bragging rights if you managed to do that to her?

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                      • #56
                        Quoth iradney View Post
                        um....uh....well....
                        j/k - but imagine how weird it would be if it DID
                        Now I have this cartoonish image of a guy pulling out his willy after sex, it being black and charred with teo little eyes blinking twice, the phalus crumbling to dust, the eyes hovering in the air for a second blinking, then falling to the pile of charcoal dust still blinking...

                        ...all with the Chuck Jones-ish Coyote and Roadrunner music playing in the background.

                        Yes, I paint with bad mental images the same way that Leonardo painted with Oils

                        Mongo
                        I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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                        • #57
                          Quoth Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                          Now I have this cartoonish image of a guy pulling out his willy after sex, it being black and charred with teo little eyes blinking twice, the phalus crumbling to dust, the eyes hovering in the air for a second blinking, then falling to the pile of charcoal dust still blinking...

                          ...all with the Chuck Jones-ish Coyote and Roadrunner music playing in the background.

                          Yes, I paint with bad mental images the same way that Leonardo painted with Oils

                          Mongo
                          Marry me? It was the blinking eyes and Roadrunner music that did it for me... *Swoon*
                          The report button - not just for decoration

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                          • #58
                            Quoth Cia View Post
                            I can't believe she actually told you guys. Definately a TMI moment. Hilarious but TMI.
                            Working in a restaurant makes you privy to all sorts of TMI from nearly everyone you work with. It was nothing to hear tales like this or other sex stories of embarrassment or even conquest on a daily basis.

                            OT - I had a bartender friend of mine who would come up with the "question of the day" and they were ALWAYS sexual in nature. One time, it was regarding "tossing salad" and would you or woulnd't you given a certain set of circumstances. 90% of the folks answered the question that day.

                            Quoth Posture Moll View Post
                            *shakes her head*

                            Even if she had grabbed the vanilla, she probably would have gotten a nasty yeast infection if there was any sugar in it. You know, if more people would actually go out and buy scientifically tested things like scented lubes and sex toys, there wouldn't be so many bedroom mishaps and ghastly intimate injuries.

                            But then, I would lose one of my major sources of lulz.
                            Yeah, she wasn't the type to think of that. Like the men who want to soak a lady in champagne on special occasions - that is really bad for the nether regions! I believe it was Maxim magazine that addressed that problem in an article. I wish I had kept that issue because the article was directed at men that had weird ideas for sex acts and it listed the consequences that the woman could suffer (i.e. yeast infections - etc) as a result.

                            Quoth AFpheonix View Post
                            Hmmm....easy bake chacha.....We could make fish sticks!
                            BWAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!
                            Last edited by KuzcoLlama; 01-26-2007, 03:09 PM. Reason: Not neccessary to post three times in a row
                            "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                            • #59


                              This is a very difficult thread to read at work. I think I now have a hernia from stifling guffaws.



                              Ya'll absolutely rock!

                              And I agree; if the lady a smell noticeable enough to need "perfume" *there*, you should reconsider her favors until the underlying condition gets cleared up. Not just pour chemicals on it.

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                              • #60
                                Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
                                *wonders if I'll be able to look at buffalo wings again without laughing*

                                Yet another service I offer...not being able to look at various objects in the same way ever again.
                                Unseen but seeing
                                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                                3rd shift needs love, too
                                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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