Because I want my vag to smell like Christmas...

[zzapp the witch]

What's the temperature of friction burns? Cause it sure as hell FEELS like 700 degrees.

/cod liver oil relief

Wait, what kind of fish are generic fish sticks made out of?

[Dreamstalker]

Whitefish...hake and/or pollack I think?

[ShootMePlease]

Wow-

Kinda reminds me of the old SNL skit with the combo floor wax/dessert topping. New Shimmer, I think it was.

It's a douche !!

No, it's a floor cleaner !!


I don't think I want my bajingo to smell like that, thank you very much.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Wow-

Kinda reminds me of the old SNL skit with the combo floor wax/dessert topping. New Shimmer, I think it was.

It's a douche !!

No, it's a floor cleaner !!


I don't think I want my bajingo to smell like that, thank you very much.

That brings to mind an incident at the register from several years ago where one of our regular customers was purchasing some feminine spray.

She mentioned the fact that she liked that scent because her then b/f said it didn't leave an aftertaste.

Somehow, if I were a guy, I don't think I'd want the taste of floor cleaner in my mouth.

[Mark Healey]

This once happened to my "friend", not me, a friend, really.

He had sciatica from sitting in the same position at the computer for days at a time. To fix this all he had to do was change his seating postition and it would eventually go away. The problem is it still hurt so he got some kind of counter irritant cream. You know the stuff that feels cool going on and then feels really hot.

So, he gets out of the shower, drys off and starts putting the cream on his leg. His balls get an ordinary itch which he scratches without thinking. About 30 seconds later he runs about three miles in little circles in his bathroom before he realizes that he is in the perfect place to wash it off. It turns out that once that stuff starts working washing it off doesn't help.

The lesson here is that Tiger Balm like products aren't for the scrotum.

[Dragon_Dreamer]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

The imitation stuff, on the other hand, is mostly chemicals. Not sure if it has sugar in it. Either way, neither of the two are probably very good for you.

[friendofjimmyk]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

The imitation stuff, on the other hand, is mostly chemicals. Not sure if it has sugar in it. Either way, neither of the two are probably very good for you.

Either way, I don't think it would've been a good idea!!!! But then again, she didn't usually have too many good ideas.

[Gurndigarn]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

The imitation stuff, on the other hand, is mostly chemicals. Not sure if it has sugar in it. Either way, neither of the two are probably very good for you.

Many health food stores sell alcohol-free flavorings of various sorts. Not sure that they're good for external application, though, but if you really want to try, that's probably the way to go.

[Mark Healey]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

The imitation stuff, on the other hand, is mostly chemicals. Not sure if it has sugar in it. Either way, neither of the two are probably very good for you.

Don't let the hippie hucksters fool you. Natural vanilla is vanillin and a bunch of other compounds in alcohol. Artifical vanilla is synthetic vanillin and alcohol. The vanillin is the same. You're far more likely to find some dangerous compound in the natrual stuff than the mad-made (but probably in insignificant portions).

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

Yeppers. It's in a sense a Vanilla Cordial...a really nasty tasting vanilla cordial. I'm going to try and make my own. I just found out that for the $15 I fork out for the tiny bottle of the stuff in the store, I can buy a jug of Vodka, spend another $25 for the beans and make a buttload of the stuff and supply all the bakers in my SCA group with vanilla extract for years.

M

[tollbaby]

The lesson here is that Tiger Balm like products aren't for the scrotum.

I used to have a roommate who told the story of "Lawrence and the Ben Gay" about a guy who, while at an SCA camping event, decided that if Ben Gay tingled a little bit when applied to other parts of the body, perhaps if he used a bit more and... er... rubbed it in a bit more vigorously, it would be quite enjoyable.

He was wrong.

I believe the best part of the story was Lucas describing Lawrence running through the campground to find a shower "with a hard-on that could punch through an engine block" I so dearly love that story.

Mongo, the only problem with making your own vanilla is that it only lasts about a year. So you couldn't keep everybody supplied for years on end.... but you could sell the excess at Pennsic (I think.... not sure what the law would be regarding something containing alcohol...).

[Reyneth]

Actually, pure vanilla is nothing more than vanilla beans in alcohol. Traditionally, vodka. Hence the old phrase, "hitting the vanilla a little too hard" to refer to a tipsy housewife.

The imitation stuff, on the other hand, is mostly chemicals. Not sure if it has sugar in it. Either way, neither of the two are probably very good for you.

The imitation stuff is actually derived from a compound in wood.
Thank you, Alton Brown.

And yes, after learning that - screw the expense, real stuff all the way (not just 50/50 like I used to....)

[DigitalEyes]

OMG... There was a commercial years ago (Lysol, I think) where a woman's house smelled like fish. She sprayed generic deodorizer to cover the smell. Her kid walked in and said, "Now it smells like fish and roses". You're story gives me a mental image of some guy saying, "Now it smells like fish and pine trees". LMAO

[Discourtesy Clerk]

You're story gives me a mental image of some guy saying, "Now it smells like fish and pine trees". LMAO

Yep, I got that thought too.

[Kiwi]

when the "roomba" came out, I believe mad tv did a "womba" for cleaning carpets...

pretty funny ad if I remember correctly

I have to say, never in my entire life, could I have expected an 8 page thread on douche to be so pleasent and funny.... go figure