I am going to report you

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I have been a last minute shopper before, but I usually know what I want and I'll come in and ask if they mind if I get one thing and then ask where the item is that I want so I'm not wasting my time or theirs by looking.

I find that by asking and informing them that I just need to get a [some item] and asking if they mind, that I get polite service and by actually getting only that one item I get a chance to do it again the next time I'm running late and need something.

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I blame Oprah and her after hours shopping demands.

(Of course, I like to blame her for a lot of things just because it feels good, but this time? I mean it!)

[BookstoreEscapee]

god, i hate oprah. her book club is just...just...GAAHHHH!!! (this from the former new release queen/frequent bestseller switcher-over/all around oprah hater...) she's probably ruined me for so many good books that i just will never be able to read now...

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I love that this book club thing of hers has turned around and bitten her on the ass more than once.
First Jonathan Franzen and then James Frey.
Two men who are both Gods in my eyes.

But this is off topic!

In my former incarnation as a retail employee, I lied to many last minute customers telling them that our registers shut down at a certain time, etc. blah, blah, BS, BS...
It ain't my fault that you can't be bothered to drag your lazy ass to my store until the last possible second.
We were open from 9:30 to 9:30.
12 hours ain't enough for you?
It was for me!
Oh, you just want one thing, you know where it is, and it won't take a second?
True dat coz it ain't happening!
Ta-Ta!

My last day of retail was a sweet sweet thing.

[Rapscallion]

The apothecary next to us was complaining about people asking him how long it would take to prepare their prescription. His standard response was to tell them the truth - about an hour. They then started to ask when he closed.

After a while, a pattern emerged. They would time it to arrive at the last minute.

Oddly enough, his preparation times extended for many customers.

Rapscallion