This is the oddest call sequence I've ever gotten. We'll call these two lovebirds BF (Boyfriend) #1 and BF # 2.
Call 1
Me: City of ____________ Solid Waste Department
BF#1: Uh, hi. I need to get a dumpster.
Me: Okay, do you know what size you need?
BF#1: A medium one.
Me: Well, we have 4,6, 8, 14, 20, 30, and 40 yard containers. If you tell me what you need it for I may be able to help you figure out what size would be the best.
BF#1: Ummm, well, I'm throwing away a bunch of stuff.
---- Insert "duh" moment here -------
Me: Okay, what type of things?
BF#1: Well, clothes, CDs, books, furniture, that kind of thing.
Me: All right, well, we do always recommend when people are throwing out items like that that you call someplace like Habitat for Humanity or some other charity. It's better to donate these to someone who needs them than to let them sit in our landfill. Would you like the numbers for those places?
BF#1: Um, no. I really need to get these thrown away today.
Me: Well, our dumpsters are delivered the next day. We don't do same day deliveries. I can set you up for a 6 yard to be delivered tomorrow. I think that would be sufficient.
BF#1: You really can't get it today?
Me: No, sir.
BF#1: Okay, well I'll call you back.
Call 2
Me: City of __________________ Solid Waste.
BF#2 (very frantically): I think my boyfriend is trying to throw out my stuff!
Me: Excuse me?
BF#2: I cheated on him and now he's threatening to get a dumpster and throw out my stuff!
Me: .... silence .... Sir, we don't get in the middle of domestic disputes. If you have a problem with defacing of property, you should contact your police department. I have the non-emergency number if you'd like. [BTW, wrong thing to say...]
BF#2: NON EMERGENCY? This is an emergency! He's going to throw out my stuff!!! Can't you stop him from getting a dumpster?
Me: No, I can't. If a citizen is willing to pay for the service, we have to provide it unless there is a proven legal reason we can't provide the service.
BF#2: *curse* Well, fine, then, I guess you'll just have to feel guilty that someone is going to lose everything because of you people. (starts crying)
Me: Sir, I am going to give you the non-emergency police number. Maybe they can help. It's ***-***-****.
Call 3
Me: City of ______________ Solid Waste.
BF#1: Okay, I want that dumpster tomorrow morning, can you have the dumpster guys wait after they deliver it and pick it up right away, it will only be 10 minutes to fill.
Me: Sir, we can't do that, but I can schedule you for a same-day service. It will be several hours, though, before they can come back to empty it. I also feel obliged to let you know that your "domestic partner" seems to have taken it upon himself to try to prevent you from getting this dumpster to throw away his items. He has been given the non-emergency police number for domestic disputes.
BF#1: ... silence.... then... How did you know that's what I was doing?
Me: Well, sir, as this is the third call I've had on the subject in the past 10 minutes, I kind of put two and two together. The last call I took was from him.
BF#1: Well, can I still get the dumpster?
Me: Yes, you can. I can provide that for you, but I did feel I needed to let you know the police have probably been contacted on this.
BF#1: That's okay. He can [insert very dirty thought here] for all I care.
Me: Sir, I must ask you not to use that language with me on the phone. It is not necessary for me to hear that, and quite frankly, I went the extra mile by letting you know what is going on on the other end. I don't want to get dragged into your domestic dispute.
BF#1: Let's sign out the dumpster, and get signed up for it to be removed the next day.
So, we did that, and the call ended semi-pleasantly. I never did hear the end result though. Kind of weird.
PW_Elle
Call 1
Me: City of ____________ Solid Waste Department
BF#1: Uh, hi. I need to get a dumpster.
Me: Okay, do you know what size you need?
BF#1: A medium one.
Me: Well, we have 4,6, 8, 14, 20, 30, and 40 yard containers. If you tell me what you need it for I may be able to help you figure out what size would be the best.
BF#1: Ummm, well, I'm throwing away a bunch of stuff.
---- Insert "duh" moment here -------
Me: Okay, what type of things?
BF#1: Well, clothes, CDs, books, furniture, that kind of thing.
Me: All right, well, we do always recommend when people are throwing out items like that that you call someplace like Habitat for Humanity or some other charity. It's better to donate these to someone who needs them than to let them sit in our landfill. Would you like the numbers for those places?
BF#1: Um, no. I really need to get these thrown away today.
Me: Well, our dumpsters are delivered the next day. We don't do same day deliveries. I can set you up for a 6 yard to be delivered tomorrow. I think that would be sufficient.
BF#1: You really can't get it today?
Me: No, sir.
BF#1: Okay, well I'll call you back.
Call 2
Me: City of __________________ Solid Waste.
BF#2 (very frantically): I think my boyfriend is trying to throw out my stuff!
Me: Excuse me?
BF#2: I cheated on him and now he's threatening to get a dumpster and throw out my stuff!
Me: .... silence .... Sir, we don't get in the middle of domestic disputes. If you have a problem with defacing of property, you should contact your police department. I have the non-emergency number if you'd like. [BTW, wrong thing to say...]
BF#2: NON EMERGENCY? This is an emergency! He's going to throw out my stuff!!! Can't you stop him from getting a dumpster?
Me: No, I can't. If a citizen is willing to pay for the service, we have to provide it unless there is a proven legal reason we can't provide the service.
BF#2: *curse* Well, fine, then, I guess you'll just have to feel guilty that someone is going to lose everything because of you people. (starts crying)
Me: Sir, I am going to give you the non-emergency police number. Maybe they can help. It's ***-***-****.
Call 3
Me: City of ______________ Solid Waste.
BF#1: Okay, I want that dumpster tomorrow morning, can you have the dumpster guys wait after they deliver it and pick it up right away, it will only be 10 minutes to fill.
Me: Sir, we can't do that, but I can schedule you for a same-day service. It will be several hours, though, before they can come back to empty it. I also feel obliged to let you know that your "domestic partner" seems to have taken it upon himself to try to prevent you from getting this dumpster to throw away his items. He has been given the non-emergency police number for domestic disputes.
BF#1: ... silence.... then... How did you know that's what I was doing?
Me: Well, sir, as this is the third call I've had on the subject in the past 10 minutes, I kind of put two and two together. The last call I took was from him.
BF#1: Well, can I still get the dumpster?
Me: Yes, you can. I can provide that for you, but I did feel I needed to let you know the police have probably been contacted on this.
BF#1: That's okay. He can [insert very dirty thought here] for all I care.
Me: Sir, I must ask you not to use that language with me on the phone. It is not necessary for me to hear that, and quite frankly, I went the extra mile by letting you know what is going on on the other end. I don't want to get dragged into your domestic dispute.
BF#1: Let's sign out the dumpster, and get signed up for it to be removed the next day.
So, we did that, and the call ended semi-pleasantly. I never did hear the end result though. Kind of weird.
PW_Elle
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