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  • #1

    Escalation Attempt Fail

    Dear Caller,

    I understand that you want this particular printer brought back online as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the trouble ticket you're referencing has already been given the highest priority possible, and even if it hadn't, I do not have the authority to escalate it any higher than "medium."

    The only person in the office who has the authority to bump it higher than that would have just asked you why you don't just print to another printer.

    Trying to persuade me that this printer is used to print briefings for a Certain Very Important Politician does nothing to faze me. Practically everyone in the building prints briefings that go to CVIP.

    The ticket is in the proper queue, and they will address this, particularly as this ticket has already been given a "high" priority.

    Yes, the ticket notes that it hasn't been assigned to a particular individual. No, I can't just randomly pick someone off the list of names from that group. I have no phone number on which to contact them, and I'm not about to waste time trying to instant message everyone on that list to find out if someone's there. That group is a 24/7 center just like us. Someone is there, and they are working on your problem.

    In the meantime, switch to decaf and stop trying to get on my case about it.

    Yours,

    Jay 2K Winger
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    "I'm the center of the universe" do what I say NOW.
    "Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears." – Rudyard Kipling

    I don't have hot flashes. I have short, private vacations to the tropics.

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth pitmonkey View Post
      "I'm the center of the universe" do what I say NOW.
      The correct response is "I'm sorry sir. But you seem to be under the impression that if I threw dirt at you, planets would form in your personal space."

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth pitmonkey View Post
        "I'm the center of the universe" do what I say NOW.
        Yes, we know that, you're just a big black hole...

        Comment

        • #5
          Different caller, different ticket, same situation...

          Dear Caller,

          Yes, I understand that this access request is urgent. The user needs their access turned on before this scheduled outage can be done.

          No, I can't complete the request for you. I do not have that access.

          Yes, I understand that it has been approved.

          No, 'approved' is not the same as 'completed.' There's another step in the process. Oh, good, you understand that.

          Yes, I understand that this "always" happens with the request system that we use.

          No, I do not have the access to assign this to someone who can complete it. Ordinarily, you would just have to wait for it to get completed.

          Yes, I understand you can't wait on this.

          No, trying to persuade me will fail, as I completely understand your so-called urgency. You are preaching to the converted. The request system that we're encouraging everyone to use still has a few bugs in it. Not that the old request system (which is still operational until all of its functions are programmed into the new one) was any better, mark you.

          Yes, I am doing what I can to assist. I'm speaking with the manager on duty about this. You're in luck! He's on instant-messenger with the people who actually can complete this request for you! Let me tell you the good news--

          Oh, wait, I can't do that. You've already hung up, and oops, you didn't give me your name so I can't IM or email you. Ah well, I'll inform the affected user that her access has been granted, and ask her to remind you to tell the IT Service Desk folks who you are next time, so we can keep you in the loop.

          Thanks so very much for your passive-aggressive bullshit tonight, buddy!

          Yours,

          Jay 2K Winger
          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Daemonmonkey View Post
            Yes, we know that, you're just a big black hole...
            Well, he's some kind of hole... >_>

            ^-.-^
            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth Daemonmonkey View Post
              Yes, we know that, you're just a big black hole...
              SC Class Black Hole: An person so dense niether logic, manners, nor even common decency can escape its event horizon.
              The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
              "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
              Hoc spatio locantur.

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                The ticket is in the proper queue, and they will address this, particularly as this ticket has already been given a "high" priority.
                and

                Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                I do not have the authority to escalate it any higher than "medium."
                lead to the BOFH solution:

                "Yes, ma'am, of course I'll be happy to escalate it as far as I have authorization to do so."

                *Clickity clickity*

                "There you go, this case is now medium-level priority."

                "But it was high priority a minute ago!"

                "Yep, but this is as high as I can assign it. Have a nice day!"

                Comment

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