Naked Justice

[chainedbarista]

*junk* ala jester: Since so many people have seen it anyway.

wait, what? you never mentioned nudity for cash before? when did this happen?

[Jester]

Who said anything about cash?

Shit, not only have I/do I hang out at clothing optional places when possible, but I also used to DJ at a clothing optional bar, AND I have DJ'd for swingers' conventions several years when they were in town.

I often joke that half the island has seen me naked.

And frankly, I'm actually surprised I have not yet seen a picture of me naked on the net that I did not put there.....

[Mytical]

Hmm I would totally go to clothing optional places..but..being sued for making people blind (pale white skin from working graveyard shifts), and having people kill over in laughter would not be a good thing...

[Mikkel]

And frankly, I'm actually surprised I have not yet seen a picture of me naked on the net that I did not put there.....

I must know, are there any pictures of you naked on the net that you did put there? I'm sure your many fans will be happy for a link .

[Jester]

Hmm I would totally go to clothing optional places..but..being sued for making people blind (pale white skin from working graveyard shifts), and having people kill over in laughter would not be a good thing...

If that were the case, there would be many people who would have been sued by now. I have seen pale, old, fat, etc., in such places. I have seen 70 year olds and 300 pounders without a stitch....you think your pasty graveyard skin is going to phase any frequenter of such places? Ha!

I must know, are there any pictures of you naked on the net that you did put there? I'm sure your many fans will be happy for a link .

I plead the Fifth.

[Ghel]

"The Strapping Room" sounds like a BDSM club to me. What?!?

What you are overlooking, GK, is that there are some phone operators that work from home, so may well be asleep, even if they are on-call.

Admittedly most such workers are involved in the "talk dirty to me" industry, but that's besides the point. After all, the people who call you at these hours are generally probably the same people who patronize those services....

Now, wait a minute. My husband and I run a wifi-support line for a handful of local hotels. We're on call 24/7. Most of our calls come in between 5:00 pm and 2:00 am. So, yes, we're frequently sleeping when the wifi calls come in.

I've had the drunk 2:00 am calls on this line, but luckily none were ever of the inappropriate type.

[Caractacus_Potts]

To which, if I were to honestly answer that question, it’s because you apparently named your puppy “Crystal Meth”.

I was smoking a cigarette before going down into a subway station in Boston once when a guy asked me if he could have $20 to buy some heroin.

I praised him for his honesty but I declined to contribute to his cause.

[AccountingDrone]

And frankly, I'm actually surprised I have not yet seen a picture of me naked on the net that I did not put there.....

/me perks up at that

Really?

[chainedbarista]

links, you must share those links, or it's 100 lashes with a wet noodle for you, mister jester.

[JustaCashier]

I hang out at clothing optional places.....

So to speak?


Mike

[Andara Bledin]

That aside though you sound….actually kind of offended somehow that our on hold music does not meet your standards.

I have, just this week past, complained about hold music. Of course, I was complaining that the hold music was soft and full of static, while the "Please hold, we really do love you" message that came on at 30 second intervals was brash, loud, and if I'd not been on the speakerphone would likely have been painfully so.

I probably shouldn't, but... I admit to the possession of more than one, but fewer than ten of the aforementioned crafted menagerie.

I can see loud and hard, but I’m not sure how one walks spitefully per say.

Oh, it can be done. I've done it, actually.

For inspiration, I would suggest having a significant other who got rip-roaring drunk with money that was supposed to cover the checks you'd mailed out the previous week for bills that were already past due, gotten violently ill all over his full length coat, which had to be pulled off his ragdoll and smelly form and stowed in the trunk before the trip home, and is now, sometime after noon the next day, finally awake and complaining of the hangover he is suffering.

I only wish I were making any of that up. >_>

We could eliminate property crime in the city in under a month.

Depending on the physique of the guard in question, you might have a sudden rise in loitering, however.

I just like how he not only freely admitted it, but blamed it for his inability to catch the suspect in question. Like he totally would have had the guy if he had pants on.

He could have been in boxers. Enough to venture out into the building at large, but not enough to be considered dressed for actual outside.

Or he could have been starkers and had no trouble showing all to his neighbors, but not the world at large.

There's another great name for a band. A rap group, say. Or a polka band.

I'm currently on a bluegrass kick, and that would be an awesome name for a certain flavor of bluegrass band.

naked justice makes me think of a super hero in nothing but boots, cape and mask for some reason...what?

It's been done. Anime, of course (and a live-action version!). Oh, those wacky Japanese.

Kekko Kamen (note, there is some NSFW-ness with this title)

I say up the ante, and equip the Naked Security Squad with pistol-gripped dildos. Forget a month, I project complete elimination of property crime within 48 hours.

Wait, don't security officers already come equipped with those?

Wait, they're not supposed to use their batons like that? You mean porn has let me down again?

It actually happened at my old company. I really need to throw a post together devoted solely to it as it was pre-CS years. ><

Yes. Yes you do.

We all wish to know the tale of the stolen weasel.

"Oh, my puppy....look at my little GK puppy...."

... I'm trying very hard not to bust out laughing my ass off here at work.

Good one, Jester.

So to speak?

Oh, in his case, I'm sure it's quite literal.

*quietly adds herself to the list of people wishing to know of these alleged images

^-.-^

[Red_Dazes]

Porcelain Cats




God help you if they advanced to crystal ducks though.

I had an aunt....she collected those carved wooden owls... Hundreds of them. Almost like these... but made of wood, and I'm fairly sure they were possessed by demons.... I used to cry when my mom made me go over there.

....all those eyes....


....unblinking....







......excuse me while I go curl up in a corner....

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Also, you should factor in that I (and presumably other people as well) am not really shy, and would rather protect my property than worry about who sees my junk.

Since so many people have seen it anyway.

[hinakiba777]

I do not envy your job GK. But I am glad your life is full of this crazy so that you may amuse all of us with that wonderful mixture of your personal wit and other people's insanity/idiocy!

Why is no one else dying of laughter at GK's excellant Dr. Klaw reference? He is the greatest villain of my childhood!

I want to start a 'naked security' company. It would be awesome. Gravekeeper can take the calls for us! I hereby request that the hiring be done in a similar fashion to the casting call for '300'. I am taking volunteers for casting assistants. It will involve margaritas and comments that may or may not steal the hopeful applicant's dignity and possibly their souls...

I'm in! This is better than watching Kilt Blowing at Dragon Con!!!

"Jester, what I like about you is that you're not into just one type of woman. You just love ALL women." Not entirely true, but not entirely false, either.

I'm sure you fans would love you to elaborate on that.

Also, I just LOVE how the focus of this thread seems to be on getting to see Jester naked. Yet no one has thought of the obvious solution of making him join the naked security company!!! I am a Genius, no?

[Mr Hero]

I just had a though. What if he was saying "feed my Puppy" as in big P. Perhaps we've found Puppy's significant other.

For those who don't recall, a few weeks back, GK had a caller who said his name was Puppy.