The odd couple(s)

[HotelMinion]

The odd couple

I dunno where this should go, cuz there is no Weird customers section on this site. . So it wasnt as sucky as it was weird.

Late night, this odd couple comes in. The guy looked like a personal trainer, fit, tan, very buff, expensive, sexy tight fitting clothes, obviously kept up his personal hygiene. The woman looked much older, salt and pepper gray hair, wrinkled pale face, glum expression, baggy, drab clothes. They stood out like a sore thumb, but it was nothing compared to what happened next.

Me: Hello how are you? Checking in??
Man: (big grin) Yes we would like a room please...
Me: Okay, smoking or non?
Man: Non, please.
Me: Okay the price is (price). May I see your ID and credit card?

He gives me them as he smiles suggestively at the woman, who still has a very glum expression. She scowls at him. Oblivious, he puts his arm around her. Obviously they're a couple. I give them a single king room.

Me: Thank you. (puts in info in the computer, which takes a long time cuz one hand is holding the cards and the other is typing) Here you go, sir. Sir? (looks around)

They've disappeared. I thought it odd because I didn't hear any footsteps. Our counter is pretty high btw. What I find out is that the man has the woman BENT OVER BACKWARD, in a long hard smooch, so far that they've disappeared behind the counter completely. If you ever seen that famous picture where the sailor is kissing the nurse on Times square...



...Like that. Only her head was about to touch the ground. Kudos to the man for having good balance! He must be really strong.

Me: (tiptoe)

Man: (straightening up with a big grin) Yeah? Did you need something?

Me: Uhhhh...here's your keys and sign here please.

The woman did not look like she enjoyed being kissed like that, and who would? It looked like he was snarfing her face. She looked even more annoyed, but didn't say anything, just scowls.

The lovebirds went up to their room. I was left speculating whether he was her escort, or husband, or gigolo. Maybe all three LOL.

BUt that wasn't as bad as in Hellton, where these two skimpy clothed girls were groping each other's breasts while their boyfriends checked in. The boyfriends were distracted, and it took a lot to get their signature on the reg card. Geez, save it for upstairs, my stash of brain bleach is almost empty! @_@ Those kinds make me feel like a voyeur.

Another time, I had the misfortune of meeting a drunk giggling duo couple...

Me: Hello, would you like a room?
Giggling Duo: (giggle giggle) Yes hee hee hee haw haw haw
Me: Single king then...

What really was annoying was the man, a well dressed business type man in a suit starting imitating me typing! More giggling. Hee hee hee.

I gave them the loudest room we had, right next to the elevator and the ice machine. They were so trashed I doubted they noticed. One thing I like about drunks is that they hardly ever complain.

[underemployeed]

One thing I like about drunks is that they hardly ever complain.

Refuse to sell the alcohol because they are already extremely drunk, it is after hours, or have no ID, all are very fine ways to extract pleading, monetary bribes, offers of sexual favors, and physical threats. Usually in that order.

Two years ago I never thought I would utter the phrase, "While your gf is very attractive, and im sure is a pro at oral sex, its not worth losing my job for giving away alcohol after hours, and you do realize your pimping your gf out for $6.06 six pack that is slightly inflated because you did offer to leave a $20 on the counter? Just out of curiosity, what can I do for a 24pack?"

Your lucky, you drunks just want to get to a bed.

[hinakiba777]

How come you get the happy, we just want a room drunks?

I always end up with the, We want to get behind the desk or hit you kind of drunks.

The first story was weird....

[Rapscallion]

Got a question and this is regarding the activities of a chum of mine. A few people know the events in question and it genuinely is a chum of mine.

If someone books into a hotel as a single person with a double bed and ends up walking in after a night out with ... hired help, shall we say, does the hotel usually do anything about this? Do they charge for an extra person? Do you take no notice? Would you even notice?

Rapscallion

[Marmalady]

When I did hotel housekeeping for a time, they charged a flat rate for the room anyway. You paid the same for 1 person as for 2.

(In fact we had a couple of regulars who would turn up once a month, about lunchtime, use the room for a couple of hours then leave. In separate cars. They still got charged for the whole night).

[bhskittykatt]

Got a question and this is regarding the activities of a chum of mine. A few people know the events in question and it genuinely is a chum of mine.

If someone books into a hotel as a single person with a double bed and ends up walking in after a night out with ... hired help, shall we say, does the hotel usually do anything about this? Do they charge for an extra person? Do you take no notice? Would you even notice?

Rapscallion

Our motel charges by the number of people, rather than the number of beds. We don't require CCs or deposits, so if we notice an extra person, there's nothing we can do that night. However, if they are a "chronic offender" that we recognize, we just charge them for 2 people straight off the bat, no matter what they tell us. If they throw a fit about it, we tell them why, and they usually shut up after that.

[Jester]

If someone books into a hotel as a single person with a double bed and ends up walking in after a night out with ... hired help, shall we say, does the hotel usually do anything about this? Do they charge for an extra person? Do you take no notice? Would you even notice?

My only work in a hotel has been behind the bar or waiting tables (I've worked at two hotels), but my personal feeling on this is that they should not charge extra. The original booker booked as one person, and then he improved his evening, either by meeting someone or hiring someone. To me, it's just like if I rent a room in an apartment and get lucky some nights. That person is not a new tenant, it is merely an overnight guest for me. And if I'm not allowed to have overnight guests, frankly, I want no part of that hotel or apartment.

Just my thoughts on it.

[Gerrinson]

Charging for an extra person depends on the hotel/motel in question. There are a few that charge per person, though most now seem to charge by the room. The only other issue that could come up would be that only X number of people can stay in one room, per fire code. A single person having a guest obviously wouldn't be an issue, but at a previous job we did have an issue with a guest that wanted to book a room with double bed and add FOUR cots. Crowded much?

Fire code allowed three people max in that room, and we couldn't have done it anyway because there wasn't enough room for that many cots - there would have been no floor space and even the door would have been blocked so you couldn't get into the room.

[Syriilord]

Refuse to sell the alcohol because they are already extremely drunk, it is after hours, or have no ID, all are very fine ways to extract pleading, monetary bribes, offers of sexual favors, and physical threats. Usually in that order.

I must be one smexy animal then, 'cause female customers always jumped straight to offering sexual favors with me
Stopped after a while though when word got around that I was stricter than a cop when it came to alcohol laws and they just started going to my coworkers instead.

I learned very quickly how to cope without vast amounts of brain bleach during that job though

[Merriweather]

Got a question and this is regarding the activities of a chum of mine. A few people know the events in question and it genuinely is a chum of mine.

If someone books into a hotel as a single person with a double bed and ends up walking in after a night out with ... hired help, shall we say, does the hotel usually do anything about this? Do they charge for an extra person? Do you take no notice? Would you even notice?

Rapscallion

Most US hotels charge by the room, not the person. Unlike the interesting old hotels in UK city centres, the majority (but not all) of US hotels are newer, purpose built, all (or most) rooms alike in size and decor. Major difference in rooms would be whether it has 2 double/queen beds or 1 king size.

[infinitemonkies]

Got a question and this is regarding the activities of a chum of mine. A few people know the events in question and it genuinely is a chum of mine.

If someone books into a hotel as a single person with a double bed and ends up walking in after a night out with ... hired help, shall we say, does the hotel usually do anything about this? Do they charge for an extra person? Do you take no notice? Would you even notice?

Rapscallion

My hotel charges by the room, not the number of occupants.
My personal policy, and this is true of pretty much every night auditor I know, is that short of damaging hotel property, or causing other paying guests to complain, whatever, (or whomever) you do in your room is no one's business but yours.

As to the rental horizontal refreshment, I've been doing this job long enough that I know most of the local working girls by sight, if not by name. Streetmeat to high-end escorts. Now, there are a couple of ladies of negotiable affection I won't let in due to previous encounters that ultimately wound up with police literally dragging them out, but generally I do nothing more than look the other way.
Besides, I have no proof anything illegal is going on. I didn't hear the offer of services, I didn't see the money change hands.

[Jester]

rental horizontal refreshment

Streetmeat

ladies of negotiable affection

Nice turns of phrases there!

[Andara Bledin]

Nice turns of phrases there!

I believe that last one is a Pratchett-ism.

^-.-^