Quirky Monday

[Barefootgirl]

I know a guy who can open beer bottles with his teeth.

My husband can open beer bottles with his teeth. It gives me the willies.

[Yarnil]

My husband can open beer bottles with his teeth. It gives me the willies.

I could do it, until I saw a friend of mine do it for the last time....And broke off his teeth.

Didnt even dare to try it after I saw that

[Geek King]

Am I the only person who carries a pocket knife with a bottle opener? I've never had to find overly creative ways to get at my liquid refreshment.

It does make me rather popular at some parties, though.

[Yarnil]

Am I the only person who carries a pocket knife with a bottle opener? I've never had to find overly creative ways to get at my liquid refreshment.

It does make me rather popular at some parties, though.

I got my housekey, works great.

[Jester]

Am I the only person who carries a pocket knife with a bottle opener?

I actually have a key chain bottle opener, but it sucks balls.

Of course at work, I have the long thing metal rounded church key type bartender bottle opener, on a retractable belt chain no less. But it is Bum Free.

[Alpha Strike]

But MC Greek and Amazon are making it abundantly clear that we are not, in fact, a bottle opening service for wayward drunks who buy High Quality Beer but then run out of funds to purchase an opener for said beverages... For MC Greek and Amazon would have made it clear that This Was Not Happening.

Without ever raising a hand, these two successfully defended the fortress, keeping out the Riff Raff Barbarians. I stood in silent awe of their powers, and watched as the bums left, utterly and hopelessly defeated, still searching for their precious bottle opener, preferably before their high-priced loot warmed up.

I'm obviously missing something here but I'm wondering why it was such a big deal to let these guys borrow a bottle opener? Was it a) they were bums and you folks don't want 'em in your establishment or b) they hadn't purchased those cold frosty drinks from you folks or c) your management was worried that they'd walk off with one of the bar's bottle openers?

[Jester]

Although I can't speak for my management, my guess would have to be D: All of the above.

Yes, we could have opened the bottles for them. But why would we?

Ignoring the fact that they were not our customers and were, as I said, bums, who we did not want in the establishment.....bums are like stray cats. If you do something nice for them once, they start coming around a lot more. And they bring their friends. And the idea of these yahoos coming in on a regular basis to get their beers opened by us....well, that's just not a pleasant thought.

At the start of each football and baseball season, my bar does a "tailgate party" where for two hours before we can legally sell beer in Key West (noon on Sundays), we give it away for free.

I got asked to do these, and when it first started, I asked my boss why he tabbed me for it. He told me that it was because he knew that not only would I card anyone who might be underage (I card hard, and am legendary for it), but also because he knew I would have no problem telling the bums to take a hike. "Members only, sorry pal." "Move along." "No." Whatever.

I have not let them down in the three tailgate parties we have thrown to date.

[Ironclad Alibi]

A few minutes later, they somehow found their second coupon. But seriously, in what store, restaurant, automotive garage, opera, porn shop or brothel can you use one coupon twice? I've never seen it, and I know she hasn't either.

The Lord & Taylor department store will sometimes have a coupon that can be used for unlimited purchases on a certain date or range of dates. They also keep a copy of the coupon at the register for customers that do not have the coupon. My wife frequently uses these coupons. Here is a link to Lord & Taylor's current coupon of this type. At the bottom, it reads, "PRESENT THIS SAVINGS PASS TO YOUR SALES ASSOCIATE BEFORE EVERY PURCHASE"

Or a lighter. Or the edge of a table. Or...

I know a guy who can open beer bottles with his teeth. And another one who can do the same with his eye socket - he just somehow hooks the bottle on the bone directly beneath the eye, hiss, pop, open. Kinda scary to watch, actually.

The video: How to open a beer bottle with your eye!

[aurelemsrealm]

Last week, I ran into the problem of trying to open my beer bottles without the benefit of a bottle opener. I guess I'd gotten used to twist caps. I quickly figured out the padlock key for my storage locker worked sufficiently well for this task. Then again, I'm good at coming up with creative solutions to problems when I'm sufficiently motivated. End result was that I got to enjoy my frosty cold ones in the privacy of my hotel room without bothering anyone else because I'm ingenious like that. I did remember to buy a bottle opener on my next beer run though just to make life easier. Live and learn.

[Betweenshades]

I like margaritas, but I'm like her and I don't like them overly tart. I always make mine with extra simple syrup (in addition to the sweet and sour mix we make) because it just smooths it out for me. I'm kind of a wuss like that :P

[Treasure]

i impressed the hell outta my bf when i opened his beer with a peg on the grill (the ones for hanging the utensils on) one night when we were hanging out outside, and had left the bottle opener inside... he's so cute sometimes...

[Shalom]

End result was that I got to enjoy my frosty cold ones in the privacy of my hotel room

I remember when hotel rooms came with bottle openers screwed to the walls.

Regarding the guys wanting to borrow your opener... I can top that. Years ago, when I worked in a locksmith shop, some genius who'd locked himself out of his car came in and demanded that I lend him a Slim Jim. Uh, not happening brother. "Why not?!" Well, besides that we, you know, make a living opening people's cars for them, we just don't lend out tools, ever. It's like flagging down a taxi and asking to borrow his cab for a while.

[NorthernZel]

Am I the only one thinking that if I'd like a sweet Tequila drink, I'd order a Tequlia Sunrise? Or, even worse --- a Tequila Slammer (tequila + 7-Up)?

[Jester]

Am I the only one thinking that if I'd like a sweet Tequila drink, I'd order a Tequlia Sunrise? Or, even worse --- a Tequila Slammer (tequila + 7-Up)?

Neither of which would have been sweet enough for my customer. I know how sweet the strawberry puree is, and trust me, it's damn sweet. Sweeter than the OJ and grenadine in a Sunrise, and sweeter than the 7-Up in a Slammer...by far.

[Tama]

Mmmm, the 7-up one sounds great.

But seriously. I am an alcoholic newbie. I would assume that the friendly gent behind the bar would, I dunno, KNOW MORE about the yummy sweetness and what makes the yummy sweetness than I would....

But then, I am a person with common sense.