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Working the far bank of UScan today, I get a brief reprieve to use the restroom, and come back, and notice a guy with a cart who was following me stop, and turn around to go around the other side of the chicken heater in front of my bank of UScans... but I think little of it, and, as he's the only customer for the moment, I ignore him and clean up the other registers.
It's rather important that I point out he chose the register by the trash bin, as I keep having to wander over next to him, and, hey, I didn't even notice until about the third time, but he keeps moving his cart as I walk to keep it between us. Okay, whatever, but on that third time, he has a $50 in one hand, and is facing me, so I gesture to the register, and kind of lean toward it, saying, "Oh, no, you can pay there."
He cuts me off, loudly, with something along the lines of, "This is the fifteenth time I've had to circle back around to check out, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
Yeah, he started off loud, and suddenly got much louder... and all I could do was just stand there open mouthed while I try to figure out what the hell set him off...
H: "I don't want fifteen people leaning over my back while I'm checking out, get the hell away!"
No, I hadn't moved closer, it just was apparently him repeating himself. And then it hit me, he must be germophobic... and I'm going, 'How the hell do you expect me to just guess you're germophobic? It's not like there are visual cues, unless you're dressed in a hazmat suit... And it looked like you were turning to hand me money!'
No, I didn't say it, I just backed off and left him to his purchase, thinking the entire time, "I've probably touched all four of the bags on that register a number of times today, the bags he's putting his goods in..."
Anyway, later in the night, I'm running the other UScan, and the only cashier in the floor, as it's 11 PM... and a guy I kind of recognize comes stomping in, bag in hand.
H2: "I bought five of these Blank-Ades yesterday, and they didn't ring up for 50 cents!"
J: "Yeah, that's about right, you'd have to buy ten in one purchase to get them for 50 cents, and even then, the receipt still shows them at full price, with a lump sum discount at the end."
H2: *throws the bag in my stack of baskets* "Well, I don't want any of them then!"
J: "Unfortunately, I can't do returns this time of night, as I have no access to Guest Services, not to mention they haven't trained me to do returns."
H2: "Well, what CAN you fucking do, 'Juwl'?"
J: "All I can do is tell you to come back tomorrow after 8 and Guest Services will do the return for you."
Still later, someone else has gone through and finished his transaction, and received a coupon for exactly what he bought.
H3: "I want to return this so I can use this coupon!"
J: "I can't do returns this time of night."
H3: "Can't, or won't?"
J: "Can't. I have neither the access nor the knowledge to do returns."
H3: "Just another way to fuck over the customer!" and here, he bends at the knees, sticking his butt out and kind of bounces a bit, I think miming getting his ass rammed, but I'm not really sure what the hell he was trying to prove...
It's rather important that I point out he chose the register by the trash bin, as I keep having to wander over next to him, and, hey, I didn't even notice until about the third time, but he keeps moving his cart as I walk to keep it between us. Okay, whatever, but on that third time, he has a $50 in one hand, and is facing me, so I gesture to the register, and kind of lean toward it, saying, "Oh, no, you can pay there."
He cuts me off, loudly, with something along the lines of, "This is the fifteenth time I've had to circle back around to check out, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
Yeah, he started off loud, and suddenly got much louder... and all I could do was just stand there open mouthed while I try to figure out what the hell set him off...
H: "I don't want fifteen people leaning over my back while I'm checking out, get the hell away!"
No, I hadn't moved closer, it just was apparently him repeating himself. And then it hit me, he must be germophobic... and I'm going, 'How the hell do you expect me to just guess you're germophobic? It's not like there are visual cues, unless you're dressed in a hazmat suit... And it looked like you were turning to hand me money!'
No, I didn't say it, I just backed off and left him to his purchase, thinking the entire time, "I've probably touched all four of the bags on that register a number of times today, the bags he's putting his goods in..."
Anyway, later in the night, I'm running the other UScan, and the only cashier in the floor, as it's 11 PM... and a guy I kind of recognize comes stomping in, bag in hand.
H2: "I bought five of these Blank-Ades yesterday, and they didn't ring up for 50 cents!"
J: "Yeah, that's about right, you'd have to buy ten in one purchase to get them for 50 cents, and even then, the receipt still shows them at full price, with a lump sum discount at the end."
H2: *throws the bag in my stack of baskets* "Well, I don't want any of them then!"
J: "Unfortunately, I can't do returns this time of night, as I have no access to Guest Services, not to mention they haven't trained me to do returns."
H2: "Well, what CAN you fucking do, 'Juwl'?"
J: "All I can do is tell you to come back tomorrow after 8 and Guest Services will do the return for you."
Still later, someone else has gone through and finished his transaction, and received a coupon for exactly what he bought.
H3: "I want to return this so I can use this coupon!"
J: "I can't do returns this time of night."
H3: "Can't, or won't?"
J: "Can't. I have neither the access nor the knowledge to do returns."
H3: "Just another way to fuck over the customer!" and here, he bends at the knees, sticking his butt out and kind of bounces a bit, I think miming getting his ass rammed, but I'm not really sure what the hell he was trying to prove...
I am both hysterically amused and horrified 
As for the other two...specimens...I'm sorry you had to deal with them. I have whisky and chocolate if you would like?
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