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No, no it's NOT supposed to go there....

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  • #1

    No, no it's NOT supposed to go there....

    OK, I have a short one today. Had a customer call in about a return. It starts out innocently enough, but it gets bad fast:

    Me: Thanks for calling [us], this is [me]. How may I help you?
    SC: Hi, I'd like to do a return?
    Me: Sure, can I ask what you're returning?
    SC: A cell phone.
    Me: OK, and what's the reason for the return?
    SC: ....why does it matter?
    Me: Well, we need to know if it's defective or not.
    SC: Yeah, it doesn't work anymore.
    Me: Anymore? What happened to it?
    SC: .....
    Me: .....
    SC: Well, I got a little lonely...
    Me:
    SC: ...so I kinda used it as a vibrator.
    Me: Sorry, I don't think the warranty covers water damage.
    SC: WHA?! FUCK YOU!
    Me: Guess the vibrator didn't work too well, eh?
    SC: *click*
    Me:
    Tags: None
  • #2
    "We don't sell vibrators, ma'am..."
    My Guide to Oblivion

    "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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    • #3
      Sounds like it worked a little to well...

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      • #4
        "Honey, why is there 1500 1 min calls from our home phone to your cell phone?"
        Last edited by drunkenwildmage; 03-30-2011, 08:22 PM. Reason: Can't type worth a crap!
        Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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        • #5
          Dunno what is the saddest - the incident itself, or that the SC involved didn't know there are USB appliances avaiable for that. NFSW if you want to google that.
          A theory states that if anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for, it will be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

          Another theory states that this has already happened.

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          • #6
            Wow, technology has advanced so far.....
            My Guide to Oblivion

            "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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            • #7
              am i the only one wishing this came with a "Brain Bleach" warning icon to the left before clicking the thread title?
              I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense

              Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.

              http://www.gofundme.com/treasurenathanwedding

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              • #8
                no, i wish it had, too; of all the uses for a cell phone, how in the hell did that enter her head? wtf...
                look! it's ghengis khan!
                Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                • #9
                  Accident. Falls onto lap while vibrating and it happens?
                  My Guide to Oblivion

                  "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                  • #10
                    Being the twisted yet practical person that I am, I wonder, if someone was to use a (probably) several hundred dollar cell phone for that purpose, why they would not at least buy a 50 cent condom to protect it?
                    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                    -Mira Furlan

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                    • #11
                      A cell phone doesn't vibrate strong enough to get that kind of use out of it...lol.

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                      • #12
                        There are apps available for android phones for that specific purpose

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                        • #13
                          Surely it'd just be cheaper to buy an actual sex toy then to potentially ruin what is (probably) an expensive phone?

                          Oh well. People are crazy.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth chainedbarista View Post
                            ......of all the uses for a cell phone, how in the hell did that enter her head? wtf...

                            But it didn't enter her head....



                            Mike
                            Meow.........

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Bright_Star View Post
                              A cell phone doesn't vibrate strong enough to get that kind of use out of it...lol.
                              THOSE cellphones probably have dual exhaust...

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