I don't understand why these come to me.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Phone calls. Bane. Existance. (Translations for those of you who don't speak Creole are in brackets.) This could also fit into Tech Support but that's not my job description, so I stuck it in SC first. We'll see where it ends up, heh.

Me: "Newsroom."
Dumbness: "Can Ah get d'website for ya'll pay-pah?" (Can I get the website for your paper?)
Me: "Sure, it's *www.nameofpaper.com*."
Dumbness: "Uh...dubaduba dot named pay-pah dot cam?" (Uh, ww.namedpaper.com?)
Me: "wwW.NAMEOFpaper.com."
Dumbness: *sounds of furious typing*
Me: *waits*
Dumbness: "Does Ah gotta put d'dubaduba fronta dat?" (Do I gotta put the ww in front of that?"
Me: "It's wwW. Three W's. And you do have to put it in front of the nameofpaper part."
Dumbness: "Uh...naw warkin'." (Uh, not working.)
Me: "Where'd you put the address in?"
Dumbness: "Mah Microsoft." (My Microsoft.)
Me: Oh. Jesus. "Um, are you connected to the Internet right now?"
Dumbness: "Innanet?" (Internet?"
Me: "Yeah, are you online?"
Dumbness: "Ya'll mean d'AOL?" (You mean the AOL?)
Me: "Sure, why not. Are you connected to AOL?"
Dumbness: "Naw, AOL d'debil. Dun use no AOL." (No, Aol is the devil. Don't use no AOL.)
Me: Great, this HAS to be a prank call if he's quoting Waterboy at me. "Sir, you'll need to be connected to the Internet to view our website."
Dumbness: "Aw, he-alls. Ah really gotta?" (Ah, hell. I really gotta?"
Me: "Yes sir."
Dumbness: "Awright...calla back." (All right. Call you back.) *hangs up*

I don't even pretend like I know what that was...

[IT Grunt]

A moment of silence for my dearly departed brain cells...

Anyways, that's a candidate for Computer Stupidities. It'll fit right in with the guy calling tech support from a phone booth because he can't get connected to the Internet, and the reason he's using the phone booth is because his phone isn't hooked up yet.

[Drakstern]

Crap.

The part of my brain that does math just committed sideways...

[ArenaBoy]

Ow, Ow, ow. Doctor, we have a patient who has lost a lot of brain cells. He needs help.

[Writer Cath]

Dude

I can't imagine you ever being this stupid, so rather than ponder the IQ level necessary to make the phone call but not know about the internet, I'll pose a deeper question:

Mysty, where in the hell did you pick up this weird-ass karma that you deserve these calls?

[Becks]

Phone Jockey's customers have SPREAD. SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!

[lordlundar]

Phone Jockey's customers have SPREAD. SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!

Dammit PJ! You were supposed to keep them locked up in the pen!

[MystyGlyttyr]

I can't imagine you ever being this stupid, so rather than ponder the IQ level necessary to make the phone call but not know about the internet, I'll pose a deeper question:

Mysty, where in the hell did you pick up this weird-ass karma that you deserve these calls?

Probably all those times I was playing Fallout 2 and gave the New Reno prostitutes drugs and lit dynamite. I knew I enjoyed their screams of agony just a little too much...