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Dear area football fans,
Hi, I'm Mysty. I'm your oh-so-friendly neighborhood newspaper clerk. I'm the sap who gets saddled with answering all your inane questions about whether or not we have articles from the 1942 Honolulu Times. But I manage to keep that smile in my voice because I'm repeatedly stabbing my wrist rest with my letter opener. Never mind that thumping sound in the background.
You football fans are an amazing bunch, really. Super Bowl Sunday is your Christmas and the amounts of money you pour into widescreen TVs, sandwich trays, and beer is pure insanity. The good kind of insanity, don't get me wrong. You're doing wonderful for the economy. I salute you.
However, despite taking such extreme measures to track down the best things for your Super Bowl party, I must admit that I'm a tad bit disappointed in your preparation for finding said game. After all, I interviewed my sister before coming into work yesterday, knowing full well what would await me before I came in, and she was able to answer each and every one of the following questions...
What Time Does the Game Start?
When Is The Pre-Show?
What Channel Is The Game On?
Who's Playing?
Who Is In The Halftime Show?
and What Super Bowl Is This?
However, having kept a tally of the calls I've received, I can respond that a good portion of you do not know these questions, and rather than seek out your nearest available TV Guide or Internet, you called me. The obit girl at the newspaper. Because being the newspaper, we are the end-all be-all of all knowledge. Allow me to assure...
32 of you that the game itself starts a little before 5:30 p.m. Central Time. And that is a LITTLE BEFORE. Not right at. Don't call me screaming if you miss the first five minutes. I warned you.
24 of you that the festivities kick off at 11:00 a.m. Central Time, and a further 13 of those that the actual pre-kickoff show starts at 5 p.m. Central Time.
7 of you that the Superbowl is on CBS. I also spent ten minutes arguing with one of you that it's channel 12 on my TV but I don't know what channel that is on your TV. Just look for the logo.
14 of you that the Colts and Bears are playing. Colts are AFC and Bears are NFC. I got that info from my sister as well but no one asked me that.
3 of you that Prince would be performing during the halftime show. I would have said 4 but the last gentleman cracked me up with a joke about wardrobe malfunctions, so I let him off the hook.
3 of you that this is Super Bowl 41. I can usually read Roman numerals but I asked my sister just to be sure. Also, I don't care if you saw the first Super Bowl. It was only 41 years ago. There's plenty of people who have survived 41 years. You don't get a story for that in the paper.
A question I didn't anticipate was what stadium they would be playing in. I didn't have a clue but mentioned the answer would be online. Any doubts I had about your intelligence where silenced when you believed my saying that we do not have the Internet here at the NEWSPAPER, and hung up. I'd feel bad about lying to you otherwise.
So, to the 84 of you, thank you for proving me right in getting notes on an event I have no knowledge about. Thank you for showing me that even though you buy a $3000 TV to watch one game on, that you cannot be bothered to actually figure out for yourself when you should turn the damn thing on, and that despite the presence of such great aides as TV news, magazines, more knowledgeable friends/relatives, TV guides, and the Internet, you would rather haul out the Yellow pages and call me here at the newspaper. It truly does make me feel special. Thank you indeed.
Sincerely
Mysty
P.S. Seriously, ignore that thumping noise. It's nothing you need to be concerned about.
Hi, I'm Mysty. I'm your oh-so-friendly neighborhood newspaper clerk. I'm the sap who gets saddled with answering all your inane questions about whether or not we have articles from the 1942 Honolulu Times. But I manage to keep that smile in my voice because I'm repeatedly stabbing my wrist rest with my letter opener. Never mind that thumping sound in the background.
You football fans are an amazing bunch, really. Super Bowl Sunday is your Christmas and the amounts of money you pour into widescreen TVs, sandwich trays, and beer is pure insanity. The good kind of insanity, don't get me wrong. You're doing wonderful for the economy. I salute you.
However, despite taking such extreme measures to track down the best things for your Super Bowl party, I must admit that I'm a tad bit disappointed in your preparation for finding said game. After all, I interviewed my sister before coming into work yesterday, knowing full well what would await me before I came in, and she was able to answer each and every one of the following questions...
What Time Does the Game Start?
When Is The Pre-Show?
What Channel Is The Game On?
Who's Playing?
Who Is In The Halftime Show?
and What Super Bowl Is This?
However, having kept a tally of the calls I've received, I can respond that a good portion of you do not know these questions, and rather than seek out your nearest available TV Guide or Internet, you called me. The obit girl at the newspaper. Because being the newspaper, we are the end-all be-all of all knowledge. Allow me to assure...
32 of you that the game itself starts a little before 5:30 p.m. Central Time. And that is a LITTLE BEFORE. Not right at. Don't call me screaming if you miss the first five minutes. I warned you.
24 of you that the festivities kick off at 11:00 a.m. Central Time, and a further 13 of those that the actual pre-kickoff show starts at 5 p.m. Central Time.
7 of you that the Superbowl is on CBS. I also spent ten minutes arguing with one of you that it's channel 12 on my TV but I don't know what channel that is on your TV. Just look for the logo.
14 of you that the Colts and Bears are playing. Colts are AFC and Bears are NFC. I got that info from my sister as well but no one asked me that.
3 of you that Prince would be performing during the halftime show. I would have said 4 but the last gentleman cracked me up with a joke about wardrobe malfunctions, so I let him off the hook.
3 of you that this is Super Bowl 41. I can usually read Roman numerals but I asked my sister just to be sure. Also, I don't care if you saw the first Super Bowl. It was only 41 years ago. There's plenty of people who have survived 41 years. You don't get a story for that in the paper.
A question I didn't anticipate was what stadium they would be playing in. I didn't have a clue but mentioned the answer would be online. Any doubts I had about your intelligence where silenced when you believed my saying that we do not have the Internet here at the NEWSPAPER, and hung up. I'd feel bad about lying to you otherwise.
So, to the 84 of you, thank you for proving me right in getting notes on an event I have no knowledge about. Thank you for showing me that even though you buy a $3000 TV to watch one game on, that you cannot be bothered to actually figure out for yourself when you should turn the damn thing on, and that despite the presence of such great aides as TV news, magazines, more knowledgeable friends/relatives, TV guides, and the Internet, you would rather haul out the Yellow pages and call me here at the newspaper. It truly does make me feel special. Thank you indeed.
Sincerely
Mysty
P.S. Seriously, ignore that thumping noise. It's nothing you need to be concerned about.
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