That really isn't in my job description

[customersruinmylife]

There is a lot of red tape involved when someone wants to run a class at the school, mainly health and safety stuff so we can't be held liable for any accidents. One of the rules is that whoever is running a class must be first aid trained.

I am not first aid trained. It is something I have considered doing, but I am a complete wuss when it comes to other people's blood. I've cleaned up allsorts in my time, but blood is something I just can't do.

A dance class was running in the main hall. I was working at my desk, when a man hobbled towards me. He had a cut that ran all the way up his leg.

Man: I fell and cut my leg. You need to stitch me up.
Me: *struggling not to faint* You need to get whoever is running the class to do that.
Man: But she is busy teaching. You can do it.
Me: Sorry, but I am not trained for that.
Man: Oh I don't care! How hard can it be! Come on! Just sort me out! I'm bleeding here!

He attempted to lift his leg up onto the desk. I actually feel the colour draining from my own face.

Me: No, just...just keep the blood away. It's not healthy. You need to go back and get one of the instructors to sort you out. They are first aid trained and have kits.
Man: Huh! You don't need to act so offended by a bit of blood! I don't have anything you know!
Me: OK, but you need to go back and get that bandaged up.
Man: *walking away* Ridiculous...can't believe he's not trained...mutter mutter....

Yeah pal, because you really want someone who isn't trained or qualified looking after you when you're injured! Plus, it wasn't that bad a cut. It certainly didn't need stitches!

[Marmalady]

Plus, it wasn't that bad a cut. It certainly didn't need stitches!

GK's expression 'Drama Llama' comes instantly to mind...

[Bright_Star]

Why couldn't he have taken care of it himself? IF it was just a simple cut, then washing it out, putting some anti-septic on it & bandaging it up wouldn't be a complicated thing. & if it was that bad then he could have called 911.

[bainsidhe]

He was asking you to...stitch him up? *blanches* Um, let me call the paramedics for you *sloooowly reaches towards the phone*

[NateTheChops]

I know how you feel. For the same reason I have a very hard time pushing myself to be CPR certified, even if it would open some doors for me employment wise.

[Betweenshades]

The phrase "I'm not trained in that" is a fairly important detail when asking about medical procedures. O_o

[Teskeria]

You handled that all wrong. You hurt his widdle feelings. See you should have looked at him first and said ' you WANT me to stitch you up?' pause just a moment and then start getting this really really eager look on your face and go again (in as disturbing a voice as you can manage) 'You REALLY Want me to stitch you up? hold on, I just need to get a permission form and make sure the security cameras catch you signing it. Wow this is great. Where's the needles, alcohol, thread, duct tape....." While rummaging though the drawers. by the time you say duct tape at the latest, the idiot will be running back to the classroom. Then you just look calm and innocent if anyone comes out. And ask ' Did that gentleman do as I suggested and get the trained instructor to assist with his injury?'
Fun for you. scary for him.

[chainedbarista]

stitches? really? that is beyond first aid, and this moron has no clue; if he needed stitches, he would have to go to an emergency room, not to a person w/first aid training. first aid: cpr, basic bandaging, splinting, cleaning and dressing minor injuries, not stitching, not operating, not fixing broken anything, just providing aid to stablize.

drama llama indeed.

i understand the whole 'faint at blood' feeling; i can deal with it, but i still get whoozy at times.

[Seshat]

Agreed. If the wound required stitching, the most a first-responder should do is wash it out with (preferably with iodine or some other antiseptic), put sterile gauze then sterile wound-packing on it, and apply pressure to stop excessive bleeding.

If it didn't require stitching, do much the same but tape the gauze and packing down and send him on his way.

[Sapphire Silk]

stitches? really? that is beyond first aid, and this moron has no clue; if he needed stitches, he would have to go to an emergency room, not to a person w/first aid training.

i understand the whole 'faint at blood' feeling; i can deal with it, but i still get whoozy at times.

Even I fainted the first time I saw blood. It's a natural reaction.

Agreed. If the wound required stitching, the most a first-responder should do is wash it out with (preferably with iodine or some other antiseptic), put sterile gauze then sterile wound-packing on it, and apply pressure to stop excessive bleeding.

If it didn't require stitching, do much the same but tape the gauze and packing down and send him on his way.

Washing the wound and applying antiseptic is OK if the wound doesn't need stitches. If you think you need stitches, at best gently wash the wound with clean water, apply a pressure dressing, and head to the ER or urgent care. We don't want a bunch of chemicals in a wound before we irrigate it, numb it, and stitch it.

The only person who should be putting in stitches is an MD, PA, or nurse practitioner.

I've seen a lot of people put in "do it yourself stitches" with things like fishing line. They almost always end up getting infected.

[MoonCat]

Get yourself the biggest, fattest needle you can find...upholstery needles come to mind...and some nice thick string. Next time some bozo wants you to perform minor surgery, bring it out. I'll bet they'll change their minds real fast.

[BlaqueKatt]

Wow this is great. Where's the needles, alcohol, thread, duct tape....."

oh come on you forgot the salt, you know because if saline(salt water) is used to clean wounds, salt would be tons better! Because you know, water has nasty bacteria in it.....

[Seshat]

Washing the wound and applying antiseptic is OK if the wound doesn't need stitches. If you think you need stitches, at best gently wash the wound with clean water, apply a pressure dressing, and head to the ER or urgent care. We don't want a bunch of chemicals in a wound before we irrigate it, numb it, and stitch it.

Okay - thank you. I've never cared for a wound that actually did need stitches.

I would, however, be inclined to rip open one of our packages of sterile dressing to use for the pressure dressing. I hope that's okay?

[Canarr]

Okay, that guy was seriously stupid; but damn, what an opportunity to mess with someone's head! "Stitch it? I've got no needles, but I got me this here stapler... Then we need some kind of antiseptic dressing... is Oil & Vinegar okay by you? That's still left over from my lunch, and if you want Caesar's, I'll have to get it from the cafeteria first." And so on.

[Thuringwethyl]

Mess with a stranger's bodily fluids? No problem! Why don't I just spritz myself with e. coli while I'm at it?

Seriously, keep your biohazard away from me.