That really isn't in my job description

[Polenicus]

If this was a common thing, I'd recommend keeping an old sewing machine under your desk.

"You need stitches?" *Hauls old rusty beast of a sewing machine onto the table* "Sure, we can fix you up. You've had your tetanus shots, right? Needle is a bit rusty."

[Lots42]

Because saying he doesn't have anything totally means he doesn't have anything. I can fly!