Near enough child abuse in my eyes

[crazydaisy]

had a female adult customer in today, with a child, a girl about two years old (I think! I'm not good with kiddy ages) which was not her won child, as she kept saying things like 'We'll be seeing Mummy soon.' I figured she was the kids auntie.
Anyway, the kid sat on the floor, as small kids do, and wouldn't get up. So Auntie bent over and started really shouting at her, 'Get up! GET UP! F******* GET UP RIGHT NOW!' etc etc.
When the girl wouldn't get up, Auntie picked her up by the shoulders and just threw the kid into a chair we have by the till and absolutely HOWLED at her. The kid said nothing at all. I don't know if this was because she had never been treated like this before, and didn't know how to react, or because she didn't dare to make a noise in case something even worse happened to her.
Auintie eventually picked the girl up and dragged her almost, out of the shop, leaving me and another customer just staring.
I wouldn't have had a clue what to do. I get the feeling if I had shaouted for help, Auntie may have thrown something at me.

[wagegoth]

The only thing you can do is take the license plate and call the police. Many places you can make an anonymous report.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I wonder if mommy knows how her child is being treated?

[digilight]

At first I was thinking this was going to be a fratching type post. But it got me wondering. In cases of questionable child abuse type situations. How far can you as a clerk/manager/supervisor/or even owner go in your involvement in the situation.

Do you just get the license plate, do you call the cops while they are there, do you kick them out first. Luckily I have never had to deal with this (and gord hopes I never do) but it just got me wondering what would other places of employement allow, and are there business's that actually have a method for dealing with this.

[MadMike]

I saw a case of near child abuse once, back in the Home Improvement days.

I was working until close, and had to sweep the floors of my department. I had all the dirt swept into a pile, when a guy stopped me for some help. While I was helping him, I noticed, to my distress, that his little boy who was probably about 7 or 8, was walking in my dirt pile and kicking it all around.

I was a little upset, because I had seen kids do things like this, and the parents not do a damn thing about it. But I think I would have preferred that to what did happen -- the guy grabbed the kid by the arm, yanked him off the floor, and threw him forward several feet while yelling at him.

That was roughly 18 years ago, and I still can't get the image out of my mind. I hope that kid didn't grow up to be an abusive asshole like his father.

[wagegoth]

If you're wondering if it's child abuse, my belief is that if you would not want it done to you, then it's abuse. If it were an adult, it would fall under assault and battery.

[draftermatt]

Now, I have to admit that throwing the kid is more than uncalled for, at least they are disciplining them.

You also don't know what the kid was doing to build-up to it. Most actual abusers aren't going to do it in public.

As far as an 7-8 year old playing in dirt, they are more than old enough to know better. Personally I would have grabbed them by the arm and took them outside where the kid would have gotten a spanking.

A 4 year old sitting down in the middle of the floor, she knew better. The sitter, whoever, should not have have tossed the kid into the chair, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes you don't realize how hard you grab a child when all you want to do is sit them down to punish them. It can be hard to restrain yourself when you are mad. Any parent or someone who has been around kids knows this. You try to avoid it, you try so so hard not to get that upset. But being a parent is hard.

Like I said, if you are going to complain when a parent yells at their screaming kid, don't complain when they don't yell at their screaming kid.

The best thing for a parent to do in my opinion, take them outside, to the bathroom to calm down, to punish them, etc. And hopefully calm yourself down some.

[tollbaby]

You also don't know what the kid was doing to build-up to it. Most actual abusers aren't going to do it in public.

...

Like I said, if you are going to complain when a parent yells at their screaming kid, don't complain when they don't yell at their screaming kid.

There's a big difference between disciplining a child and harming them (which is abuse). Physically handling the child isn't necessarily abuse, unless you're hurting them needlessly. Demeaning the child and belittling them is also abusive. My kids have both gotten swats on the butt in public, and more often than not, if they're being brats, we just leave the store to avoid disturbing other people, but I would never toss them or push them (although I have been known to drag my daughter by the arm, kicking and screaming - she's REALLY ... er... strong-willed LOL Unfortunately for her, so am I).

The point is, it's a fine line between discipline and abuse, and one person's line may not be at the same level as another's. If your children cower in fear... that's not good. (however, a bit of healthy respect when mom levels "THE GLARE" at you is good). I think that the guy throwing his son to the ground was clearly not in control of his temper, and was being abusive. There's no excuse to toss a child to the ground - that's an intimidation tactic, pure and simple, and it's unnecessary.

[kibbles]

ITA tollbaby, no matter what a child is doing, there is no excuse for pushing or throwing or flinging your own child. If I had to choose, I'd rather see a parent not disciplining their child at all, then one like MadMike described.

Kibbles

[rdp78]

Well, I think don't there is any excuse for picking up a child and throwing them I mean it could serouisly hurt them. To me that's child abuse no matter how badly the child acts and doing something they shouldn't in the first. I mean I think spanking is okay as long as is not harmful to the child I sought of grew up that way (is more of threats) and its very common where I live so it didn't surprise me when parents spank there children who misbehave. Yes, there are other ways of discplining a child like taking them outside, taking away something or giving them a time out. Of course, I'm not a parent but after working retail you get see how children behave in public and what parents do about it.