I Wish They'd All Disappear

[Gaki]

Know What You Want

SC: I want a pack of Black and Milds and a pack of Swishers.
Me: Which Swishers, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, or this one? (there are literally that many different packs of Swisher Sweet cigars, no lie.)
SC: Uh...that one, no...wait, the one to your left...no that's wrong...uh...uhhhhh...can I just get the pack of Strawberry Phillies?
Me: *goes for the one on that shelf*
SC: No wait, the three pack on the top shelf.
Me: *rings everything up*
SC: Oh...I wanted wine Black and Milds.
Me.

Please...shut up now before I attempt to save the human race from your stupidity.

Guy comes in.

SC: Hey what's up with pump four out there?
Me: To what are you referring?
SC: Like this lady was out there, she couldn't get the numbers off the screen.
Me: The numbers from the last transaction must stay on the screen until she puts in her card and starts pumping according to state law.
SC: Yeah but she did that.
Me: She was pumping and the numbers didn't leave?
SC: She didn't pump it 'cause they didn't leave.
Me: If she didn't pump anything, they stay on there.
SC: Well she went to pump seven because we couldn't fix it.

.......THERE WAS NOTHING TO FIX, STUPID.

GO AWAY.

So I was counting down the register yesterday and this must be a fucking record. SIX people ignored the signs on the counter and all the papers and shit all over the counter and interrupted me for various things. One guy wanted change from his pump and thought other people couldn't do it for him. Another guy wanted me to ring him out...as if it were even possible with my drawer open and my hands full of one dollar bills to count them. I'm not even on the lottery register and this EW ass nugget interrupts me (another record) NINE TIMES with his weird Russian accent and his rude entitlement wanting me to check his tickets for him. I ended up having to SHOUT my counting numbers over him so I wouldn't lose track.

Normal time to count down a register: 3-5 minutes.

Time it took with all these SCs: 10 minutes.

I ended up clocking out 5 minutes late because of these people.

Stupid things people say...

On the phone:

"Can I speak to Jim, the manager?" (Our manager's name is nothing close to "Jim.")
"How old do you have to be to buy cigarettes?"
"Do you sell alcohol?" (This isn't New York, buddy.)
"Can I get the winning numbers for the noon time Daily Number?" Answer: "It's 10 in the morning, Ma'am."
"I want to speak to the owner." (We're a corporately owned franchise. So you can want all you like but I'm just gonna give you a phone number for corporate.)

Me: Thank you for calling [company] how may I help you?
SC: Is there a phone there that someone might have turned in?
Me: There's a Motorola in the drawer.
SC: Well that's not mine, mine is a Droid. It's on Verizon.
Me: Right.
SC: Is it ringing?
Me: Yes.
SC: Well then that's totally mine, I'll come pick it up, but it's not a Motorola.
Me: The phone we have in our drawer is a Motorola, it has the Motorola symbol on the back of it, it also has the carrier of Verizon, if this is your phone then when you come to the desk, as the associate to get you the Motorola because we have several phones that have been turned in and I do not not want the associate to be mixed up.
SC: But...my phone's not a Motorola.
Me: *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.* If your phone is the one ringing in here with the Firefly ringtone, then your phone is a Motorola.
SC: ...oh. Okay, yeah.
*click*
Me:

[Andara Bledin]

Me: There's a Motorola in the drawer.
SC: Well that's not mine, mine is a Droid. It's on Verizon.

You mean a Motorola Droid?

I don't even follow phone stuff and I know the Droid is a Motorola phone.

^-.-^

[parresa]

Oh man I feel you.

Customer: I want Marlboro Special Blends.
Me: *rings up short red Marlboro Special Blends*
Customer: No I wanted menthol 100's.

Well it's kind of hard for me to ring those up when you only give me half the information. Also those stupid non-menthol Newports. Newports are menthol by default people, you have ask if you want the non-menthol ones. I know it's backwards but stop flipping your top at me please.

And the pump thing... come on, have you guys never pumped gas before? I don't know of any pumps that DON'T work that way. But I had the exact same conversation you did YESTERDAY.

And I get ignored with my sign up too, usually it's a regular who wants ME to check them out which I guess is a compliment.

But then you have other people who cant figure out where to go to get checked out. We have two registers. One of them has a person behind it either checking someone out or waiting for you because you obviously need to check out. The other register says closed and has nobody behind it and may even have a sign up! Where do you think tons of people go... lol

[BrenDAnn]

You have all my most sincere sympathies, fellow c-store workers! I worked 9 hrs last night, got off at 11, and went back in at 8 this morning and worked 8 more hours. What you described, Gaki, is almost exactly how every single day goes for me. Oh, and yes, there are a crapload of varieties of Swishers! My favorites include:

Customer: I'll take a can of Copenhagen
Me: *looks at the 8 to 10 different varieties of Copenhagen on the shelf* Which kind?

Me or pizza worker: Thank you for calling (us) pizza may I take your order?
Customer: Do you make pizza?/Can I order a pizza?

Customer: You don't sell Powerball, do you?
Me; *blinks, looks at lottery machine directly to my right, which is in plain view of customers* Yes, we do.

Customer: *standing in first aisle, looking around* Do you have an ATM?
Me; yes we do right at the other end of the first aisle.

Customer: Do you have ice?/Do you have ice cream?
Me; Yes, where it says ice/ice cream on the wall. *grin*

Oh, and a gem I had today:

SC: The women's toilet is dirty, so I used the men's, but I don't think it flushes right. *walks out*
Me, to CW: I know that toilet is clean I was just in there *goes and checks anyway, comes back VERY angry* She was full of BS! That toilet is SPOTLESS!

I think my CW was amazed at how angry I was. I decided it was a good time for me to go change the outside trashes. Sometimes I just want to smack people upside the head and tell them to grow a brain, y'know? Oh, but that would be "bad customer service"!

[greensinestro]

Stupid people, but amazing how "smart" they seem when it comes to their cigarettes! I remember this stuff at Publix when these SC's would wait until checkout time, then send a bagger to customer service for their Winstons, then get upset because you brought back the soft pack instead of the flip top box. How are we supposed to know this shit if you don't tell us?

[Mytical]

Stupid people, but amazing how "smart" they seem when it comes to their cigarettes! I remember this stuff at Publix when these SC's would wait until checkout time, then send a bagger to customer service for their Winstons, then get upset because you brought back the soft pack instead of the flip top box. How are we supposed to know this shit if you don't tell us?

I keep telling people, but they just won't listen. You have to take that super psych pill that your store gives you! If you don't your psychic powers fade!

Hehe if we were as half as psychic as people thought, we'd have won the lottery, made a killing in the stock market, and own our own flippin island by now. One where the penalty for being an SC is to be booted off the island, depending on how bad of an SC supplying them a boat would be optional.

[EricKei]

Stupid people... get upset because you brought back the soft pack instead of the flip top box.

I realize that the answer here will, most likely, boil down to "personal preference", but can someone explain to me (a non-smoker) what the big deal is when it comes to fliptops vs softpacks? For these purposes, assume that each contains the exact same amount of the exact same product and costs the same. I have known people to go batshit insane over this distinction, and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why...

[aurelemsrealm]

My perspective as a customer

I used to smoke, but switched over to snus for my tobacco fix because my wife hates the smell of cigarette smoke, and I gag at the thought of spitting chew.

I was never particularly picky whether I got the box or soft pack, kings or 100's. I was fairly easy to please that way. I preferred boxes because they were harder to destroy since I tended to carry them in one of my hip pockets the majority of the time. However, I wasn't picky enough to really care as long as I got the brand and flavor I wanted at the time. My usual choice was either Marlboro Milds or Kool Milds depending on what was available in stock and what I wanted to spend at the time.

My perspective as a c-store clerk

I can relate to far too many of the previous posts. I've gotten to the point that I will force customers to narrow down their requests by standing there and asking those annoyingly specific questions until I know exactly what they want from me. I will make no move to get anything behind the counter for them until they answer my questions. Most of the time, those types of customers barely know what they want anyway, so I figure it's up to me to try to narrow their choices down rather than running back and forth.

Also, don't bark what you want at me until you are actually ready to check out because I'm not going to jump to have it ready and waiting for you. Most of the time, I just ignore those kinds of customers, and make them repeat it again anyway. If they get mad, I just make it clear that I was busy with something else, and didn't hear them (and also don't really give a shit anyway).

As for any other issue, most complaints about whatever are probably irrelevant and pointless to me, so I'm not paying that much attention because I'm trying to remember more important priorities required as part of my job. I'm just good at faking interest and concern because I'm expected to do so. Sadly, I've done this job and similar so long that I can practically do it in my sleep, so I let most of my mind wander to more interesting things and engage the auto pilot for doing what I need to do at work. I only come out of auto pilot when it's necessary.

As for issues at the gas pumps, it's usually a matter of customers not following the directions printed on the pumps. After that, it's usually a matter of customers not following my explanation of the directions printed on the pumps.

[chainedbarista]

i'm not a smoker (thank god...eww) but i think the difference is that a flip top is a 'hard' pack with a flippable (cardboard) lid, while the soft pack is, well, soft. (parents smoked...)

[MadMike]

SC: Well that's not mine, mine is a Droid. It's on Verizon.

"This is not the droid you're looking for."

Yeah, I went there.

[Kogarashi]

I don't smoke, never have, never will, but I worked the cigarette lane at Walmart for a while. I had one customer lecture me when she didn't specify between package types and I grabbed the wrong one. Apparently soft packs are more crushable, so in her case at least, she needed the box so her cigarettes wouldn't all break because of the abuse she put her pack through.

Beyond that, I think there might have been a slight price difference (with the box being more expensive), but otherwise I have no clue why it was so important.

[EricKei]

cb - I know the difference between the two, I'm just curious about why having access to one but not the other is somehow an apocalyptic problem to some people.

[MnR]

I don't know why people get so worked up about it. As a smoker I go for hard packs simply because it's easier for me to pack my smokes when i get them. Packing a soft pack will ususally end up with crumpled cigarettes. For the non-smokers, packing is smacking the top of the pack against your hand or an object to tighten the tobacco inside, causing a slower burn due to less air in the tube. As least that's my understanding.

However, when push comes to shove, I really don't care soft or hard, as long as I get my nic fix. LOL

[blas]

I gotta have a hard pack, but I'm not a bitch about it.

Anyone who remembers my posts from years ago, I used to call it "The Game" when cigg customers gave me the runaround.

It almost ALWAYS went like this.
M- Me
SC- Duh

M- Hi there, how-
SC- PACKAMARBOREDSINABOX
M- Ok *gets pack*, that'll be-
SC- I wanted LIGHTS!
M- Alright *getting huffy here, gets lights*
SC- NO NO, I wanted 100s!
M- OoooK...*Urge to kill rising, grabs longer ciggs*
SC- NO NO I wanted MENTHOLS!

This could go on and on and on. Some people, I swear, did it on purpose, either just to see me turn around and look at my giant rear end, or just to watch me keep getting more frustrated. UGH.

But now what drives me insane is that I'm obsessed with those Marlboro special blend ciggs and I always ask for 2 packs of the special blend lights, and I swear, almost every clerk just blinks and turns around and just looks up and down at the cigg display all downtrodden. It's not that hard. Even nonsmokers who sell cigarettes know what brands are what.

[Gaki]

But now what drives me insane is that I'm obsessed with those Marlboro special blend ciggs and I always ask for 2 packs of the special blend lights, and I swear, almost every clerk just blinks and turns around and just looks up and down at the cigg display all downtrodden. It's not that hard. Even nonsmokers who sell cigarettes know what brands are what.

That's weird. What a strange thing to get caught up on. Maybe you get stuck with Trainees all the time or something. People love those things. I don't know what the Black and Red ones are really but nobody ever gets them while I'm working so I can't even ask them what they think of them. But the lights and the red special blends are really popular. Hmmm...odd.