Wherein We Explore Alternative Means Of Opening A Door

[Jay 2K Winger]

It took me most of my nearly 32 years to get over my Kool-Aid addiction. It was just a horrible experience.

Don't remind me. And just when you think you've got it kicked, guess who comes crashing through the wall?

I hate that glass bastard.

[Mr Hero]

Don't remind me. And just when you think you've got it kicked, guess who comes crashing through the wall?

I hate that glass bastard.

Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh yeah!

[Jester]

SC: “Yeah, I was on hold so long I just went ahead and placed the order online anyway.”

Good to know their time is so valuable that they can continue to wait on hold just to tell you that they no longer need your services. To quote Charlie Brown, good grief!

SC: “I don’t know her address, if I give you her phone number can you call her and get the address from her? Don't tell her who you are though, this is suppose to be a surprise.”

While you're at it, can you pass her a note during recess asking her if she likes me? But of course don't tell her who I am. Just have her check "yes" or "no" on the note.

You gotta give him credit for riding it out till the bitter end regardless.

A good training run for the dysfunctional romantic relationships that are undoubtedly awaiting him in his future.

SC: “There’s a guy in the hallway. He's not breathing, I don't think he lives here."

Well, purely from a technical standpoint, if he's not breathing, he doesn't live anywhere.

SC: “Can you do something about this? If he’s dead there’s gonna be stink in the building.”

And to think that any of us here every questioned our faith in humanity.

I mean I know I just hate it when I come home and there’s a body on the floor. Because it means I totally have to Febreeze the entire carpet again.

Well, in my case, it means that I forgot to contact one of my many friends with boats and make arrangements for appropriate "disposal."

I hate it when that happens!

WTH? Polarized is a color now?

OK, iridium, I know that one, it's kind of silver, right? .... What the heck were these people ordering, anyway, reactor parts?

From the sound of it, overpriced sunglasses with overblown advertising.

[chainedbarista]

gk's story of: Untamed Credit

Me: “And the card number please?”
SC: “Oh wait, I’m running to it.”

personally, i like to stake out their watering hole, watch their habits, then dig a pit, line it with stakes and cover it with a flimsy camoflauge of leaves and sticks; when they step on it, presto-i have my card. speedy little buggers, they are...

[Ghel]

Yeah, my credit card keeps running away from me, too. Or is that just the bill?

[OfficeSlug]

My Monday just isn't complete without you Gravekeeper.

Ain't that the truth?

Just when I think I have as-good-of-a-tale, I re-read some older posts and realize GK is just.... talented!

SC: “What can I do with my plunger and/or wrenches?”

I can think of several things you can do with your plunger and/or wrenches but elaborating would likely end my employment.

And this had me choke on some very bubbly soda, mostly because I DO use this phrase myself when a customer asks me such a question. Yes, to their face. With a sweet smile and joking manner - of course. Wouldn't want them to think I'm SERIOUS, now, would we?!