EPIC Commando FAIL

[Kisa]

This one happened when Drewbie was still working with me. We were working late night drive thru when a SC came to the window STINKING of beer. He wore a beer (and sweat) stained shirt and mountain dew boxers. He had his wallet on his lap and was tying to pull out a few bills. He was obviously smashed and seemed to move in slo mo.

Me:
Drewbie: Nice boxers man!
Smashed Customer: Huuuhhhh?? Oohhhh. Thannkkssss.

He even talked in slo mo.

SC: I thoughtt I'd go commaannnooo todayyyy.
Me:
Drewbie:

Umm. Ok then. Not how you go commando drunkie drunk. Anyway, he paid and slowly put his wallet away. Right after he took his wallet off his lap, Drewbie's eyes got real big and he took a step back.

Drewbie:
Me:
Drewbie: Can you see that?

Note: Drewbie has about a foot on me height-wise, so he can see on a different level.

Me: Nooooo....
Drewbie: Good....cuz this guy's dick is hangin outta his boxers!!! It's nasty as hell!!!
Me: >.< ewewewew
Drewbie: And small as hell too!
Me: too much info thanks...

I gave him his food and he drove away (in slo mo) unaware of how much skin he was revealing. I wonder if he got pulled over?
Cop: Sir have you been drinking tonight?
SC: Weeeelll....
Cop: *looks down* Nevermind sir..... I got all the proof I need.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

With as smashed as that guy was, he probably wouldn't have been able to put on pants without landing himself in intensive care.

[Kisa]

With as smashed as that guy was, he probably wouldn't have been able to put on pants without landing himself in intensive care.

I'm amazed he could drive even

[fireheart]

that image was so damn funny.

[telecom_goddess]

wait....this guy was DRIVING??? holy shit I'd be calling 911 on his ass.

[Kisa]

wait....this guy was DRIVING??? holy shit I'd be calling 911 on his ass.

Sadly the outside lights shut off around 3am so after then we can't see license plates

[emax4]

I thought he was gonna smile, look down in shock and say, "where did my girlfriend go??"

[Mr Hero]

Ewww gross, Kisa. You've already told me this story and now you're making me read it again?

[fireheart]

I thought he was gonna smile, look down in shock and say, "where did my girlfriend go??"

No it'd be "pink elephants stole my girlfriend!"

[Syriilord]

With as smashed as that guy was, he probably wouldn't have been able to put on pants without landing himself in intensive care.

Considering how small Drewbie in the OP was saying it was, I doubt that would be a risk...

[dalesys]

With as smashed as that guy was, he probably wouldn't have been able to put on pants without landing himself in intensive care.

A close trim by the sesquicentadontarian feature of Oscar Meyer's nightmares?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I'm amazed he could drive even

"I have to drive... I'm too drunk to walk!"

[PepperElf]

wait....this guy was DRIVING??? holy shit I'd be calling 911 on his ass.

yep. and if he's that drunk he might fall for the trick of "sure, it'll be a few minutes...." while someone is calling the cops

[Caractacus_Potts]

No it'd be "pink elephants stole my girlfriend!"

Completely OT. I was stopped at an intersection with my wife in the passenger seat...

Me: Do you see a pink elephant with purple polka dots?
Wife: Uhmmm...no?
Me: Then you must be drunk!

Then I pointed across the intersection off to the right where I kid you not there was a 10' tall statue of an elephant painted pink with purple polka dots. IDK, maybe you had to be there.