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  • Suicidal Customer

    From Today.

    Suicidal Customer

    CW: Would you like a bag?
    SC: Not unless you wanna put it over my head and tie it tight. *walks out the door.*
    Me: WHAT?!
    CW: ...uh...I think that guy just asked me to murder him.
    Me: That's sure what it sounded like.
    CW: I've...never had someone say that to me before... *dumbfounded*

    Sob

    Me: Your total will be $4.12.
    SC: *hands me $11*
    Me: *Tries to hand back the $1*
    SC: No, you take the twelve out of that.
    Me: *Gives a five and the same one back.*
    SC: *stares at money in their hand* Now see that wasn't so hard, was it?
    Me: ............................

    I'm Too Short for That

    SC: I'm the white Honda.
    Me: Which pump number.
    SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
    Me: Because the cigarette racks are too high for me to see over and the Deli took my stool.
    SC: *stares at me, stares at the racks, stares at me again* Oh for God's sake. *walks over to the door to see what pump they're on with a catbutt face.* 5.

    Coincidence or Just Someone Else Being a Dillhole?

    SC: I had sixteen dollars out there, dunno which pump.
    Me: *looks at screen to find two pumps directly beside oneanother both with exactly 16 on them. Oh goody.* Uh...pump five or six?
    SC: I just said I dunno.
    Me: ....right, well I have two pumps out there both for the same amount right next to each other. What do you drive?
    SC: A PT Cruiser.
    Me: *finds the stool and sees TWO PT CRUISERS. What color?
    SC: Are you f-ing serious? I don't have time for this.
    Me: Red or blue?
    SC: Red, are you colorblind?
    Me: *rings it up* There are two cruisers with the same amount of gas at pumps directly next to oneanother. No. I'm not colorblind.
    SC: ...*clams up and walks out, embarrassed*

  • #2
    Quoth Gaki View Post


    I'm Too Short for That

    SC: I'm the white Honda.
    Me: Which pump number.
    SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
    Me: Because the cigarette racks are too high for me to see over and the Deli took my stool.
    SC: *stares at me, stares at the racks, stares at me again* Oh for God's sake. *walks over to the door to see what pump they're on with a catbutt face.* 5.
    *
    SC: I'm the white Honda.
    Me: Which pump number.
    SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
    Me: Because I don't know every make in existence looks like.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Teskeria View Post
      SC: I'm the white Honda.
      Me: Which pump number.
      SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
      Me: Because I don't know every make in existence looks like.
      Me: Because I can only tell a Mercedes or a Jaguar at a glance and everything after that is just a car.
      "Honestly officer, he asked for a shot and I gave him one. Why do you need the handcuffs?" - MannersMakethMan

      Comment


      • #4
        1) Somebody needs serious help, or was trying to (and apparently succeeded in) freak you/CW out

        2) Dumbass who either likes messing with clerks or needs to learn what 11 minus 5 is.

        3) Um...Wait...You have cigarette racks blocking your view of the pumps? And just how many hundreds of drive-offs do you have? Our corporate strictly forbids us from having ANYTHING obstructing our view of the pumps. That said, i hate, hate, HATE people like that! HATE IT! Know your pump number and/or how much you pumped!!!

        4) Again...Know your pump number. Douche.

        That about covers it. Still baffled over the cigarette racks obstructing your view of the pumps though.
        "And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--Shakespeare

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Gaki View Post
          From Today.

          Suicidal Customer

          CW: Would you like a bag?
          SC: Not unless you wanna put it over my head and tie it tight. *walks out the door.*
          Me: WHAT?!
          CW: ...uh...I think that guy just asked me to murder him.
          Me: That's sure what it sounded like.
          CW: I've...never had someone say that to me before... *dumbfounded*


          Sounds to me like some poor bastard havin' a really bad day,at least he didn't take it out on y'all.

          My fellow drunks will of course relate to bein' in the hellish depths of a truly epic hangover,one bleary eye open & tryin' to croak out the words from a dessicated & undescribably foul tasting mouth:....."Kill me...please?"
          "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you.This is the principal difference between a man and a dog"

          Mark Twain

          Comment


          • #6
            Though how many of us have dreamed of the day certain customers ASK us to strangle them? I mean, we'd have to comply for good customer service, right? >.>

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth BrenDAnn View Post
              3) Um...Wait...You have cigarette racks blocking your view of the pumps? And just how many hundreds of drive-offs do you have? Our corporate strictly forbids us from having ANYTHING obstructing our view of the pumps. That said, i hate, hate, HATE people like that! HATE IT! Know your pump number and/or how much you pumped!!!
              I am...abnormally small. (Not a midget.) That is to say that EVERYONE ELSE can see the pumps I'm talking about from where they stand at the register but I have to walk over to the racks and stand on my toes to see them. What most drive offs don't understand is that I only have a clear view of three pumps without going out of my way to look at them. 16, 17, and 18. Those pumps are the ones people drive off at ALL THE TIME. When I'm on, they hardly ever get away without me getting a license plate. (My trainee got a license plate of a woman who totally freaked out on him and told him she was pulling up and then drove right off. What a freak. I'm so proud of my trainee...they grow up so fast...sniff)

              So really it's just me. The cig racks are rather large and I'm...well...rather small. When I go right up to the racks I'd say they're just above nose level and when I tippy-toe they come up to my chin. So I can't see cars from where I stand at the register and I ain't gonna move all the way to the window and stand on my toes just because you don't know what pump. You know? Should have come in with that information.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Gaki View Post
                SC: I had sixteen dollars out there, dunno which pump.
                Me: *looks at screen to find two pumps directly beside oneanother both with exactly 16 on them. Oh goody.* Uh...pump five or six?
                SC: I just said I dunno.
                Me: ....right, well I have two pumps out there both for the same amount right next to each other. What do you drive?
                SC: A PT Cruiser.
                Me: *finds the stool and sees TWO PT CRUISERS. What color?
                SC: Are you f-ing serious? I don't have time for this.
                Me: Red or blue?
                SC: Red, are you colorblind?
                Me: *rings it up* There are two cruisers with the same amount of gas at pumps directly next to oneanother. No. I'm not colorblind.
                SC: ...*clams up and walks out, embarrassed*
                Sad thing is they probably weren't embarrassed. Just shocked speechless that someone had the audacity to buy the same car, even in a different color, as them. Then the same person had the nerve to purchase gas at the same station they use. Then the inconsiderate jerk had the unmitigated gall to even pump the same amount of gas as this SC, which forced them to attempt to communicate to you which gas pump they had used instead of you just figuring it out for them.
                Now the day was utterly RUINED and they probably had to go home and rest until they felt properly helpless again.
                I'm sorry, but I've reached my maximum allowable exposure to stupidity limit for the day. I'll have to get back to you tomorrow.

                Comment


                • #9
                  That last guy was stupid, too. If you were colorblind, how would you know there was a red car and a blue one?

                  There are several types of color blindness. One makes it hard to differentiate between red & green. Another makes it hard to tell between yellow and blue. I don't think there's one where you get red & blue mixed up!
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Gaki View Post

                    I'm Too Short for That

                    SC: I'm the white Honda.
                    Me: Which pump number.
                    SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
                    Me: Why didn't YOU?
                    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Gaki View Post
                      From Today.

                      Suicidal Customer
                      Was the customer visibly depressed, or did it come off like ill concieved "humor"?

                      I'm Too Short for That
                      SC: *irritated* I don't know, why don't you LOOK?
                      Because I left my mutant powers in the shop.

                      Coincidence or Just Someone Else Being a Dillhole?
                      Survey says Dillhole.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth b2addm View Post
                        Sad thing is they probably weren't embarrassed. Just shocked speechless that someone had the audacity to buy the same car, even in a different color, as them.
                        They're probably pissed that the PT Cruiser (along with the VW Beetle, the Mini, etc.) aren't as cool as they once were. That is, they've become annoyingly common At least I don't have that problem when I take a certain car out. I don't believe I've seen its doppelganger (which lives in West Elizabeth, PA) on the road at the same time
                        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth protege View Post
                          They're probably pissed that the PT Cruiser (along with the VW Beetle, the Mini, etc.) aren't as cool as they once were. That is, they've become annoyingly common
                          The good old days... when you could beat the tar out of your siblings on road trips playing SlugBug.
                          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Gaki View Post
                            ...Suicidal Customer

                            CW: Would you like a bag?
                            SC: Not unless you wanna put it over my head and tie it tight. *walks out the door.*
                            Me: WHAT?!
                            CW: ...uh...I think that guy just asked me to murder him.
                            Me: That's sure what it sounded like.
                            CW: I've...never had someone say that to me before... *dumbfounded*

                            ...
                            An opportunity missed is an opportunity lost.
                            "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I know that here the police have requested that all gas stations impliment a permanant 'pay in advance or at the machine with a CC' policy in my city. After the few gas stations that did implement the change in policy right away got targetted and ripped of at an incredibly high rate, all the gas stations switched. We don't get drive offs or 'what pump numbers' around here as much anymore. people know that if they have to go into pay in advance, there is no way the employee will be able to look it up by amount for them so they are much more observant.

                              Overall, that policy solved a whole lot of problems. Saves a lot of money for the police, they don't have to chase down the nonpayers anymore. The gas station owners are split though, they liked that the drivers would go in after purchasing gas to pay because they would buy more, but this way they don't lose money on the drive offs so they go along with it.

                              It is what it is. I highly recommend that policy to any town or city with drive off issues!
                              "I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality."
                              - James Joyce

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