First Customer of the Day: Control Freak

[Food Lady]

I was supposed to go to the cafe, but awaiting instruction, so I hopped behind service desk to get the line down. First lady says hi, asks how I am. Usually it's just a formality; people really don't care. Plus, a lot of times, if I say "fine," they say stupid stuff like "Are you really fine?" Hate that, so I will just answer with a question. Today I just asked if she had a return. She forcefully repeated "How are you" in a schoolmarm voice. I felt 5 years old, and really, who cares? Then through it she was weirdly overly polite and pointedly used my name at the end, which weirds me out. Why do they do that? Is it gonna earn them points? She just wanted to make sure behaved according to her outdated social niceties.

[Jester]

I don't see how social niceties are outdated. It's entirely possible that sometimes we get so jaded dealing with the asshole SC's we deal with that we have trouble handling the polite people with manners who aren't trying to pick us up.

Just a thought.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I more have issue with the "how are you" if they really don't want to hear it. Aggravates me so much. I just say "hi!" or "hello" or "crazy weather yeah?" Or something equally neutral. I want to be polite, and friendly (usually), but not intrusive or insincere.

[ShootMePlease]

I don't see how social niceties are outdated. It's entirely possible that sometimes we get so jaded dealing with the asshole SC's we deal with that we have trouble handling the polite people with manners who aren't trying to pick us up.

Just a thought.

This.

I know as a general rule no one really gives a shit how the other one is doing but there are some folks who are geniune with their query or reply. For that reason I always respond in a polite and sincere way, and also do so when I ask.

Being polite never goes out of style.

[Food Lady]

I more have issue with the "how are you" if they really don't want to hear it. Aggravates me so much. I just say "hi!" or "hello" or "crazy weather yeah?" Or something equally neutral. I want to be polite, and friendly (usually), but not intrusive or insincere.

This is exactly why I'm hesitant to answer. It's not even that she asked, but the suck that came in when she used the disapproving schoolmarm voice. She couldn't have been more than 5 years older than me. She appeared to be used to getting her own way. I forgot about this: she was looking for her receipt and offered to look thd transaction up on her card if she couldn't find it (I was trying to be nice) and she raised her voice "I didn't say I didn't have it." Polite on the outside, control freak on the inside. It's easily recognizeable to me.

[XCashier]

I don't see how social niceties are outdated. It's entirely possible that sometimes we get so jaded dealing with the asshole SC's we deal with that we have trouble handling the polite people with manners who aren't trying to pick us up.

Just a thought.

True, but when they press you with "Are you really fine?", that's going past polite and into weird.

[Sleepwalker]

It's not polite when you are bullying someone into responding to the question. I try to be polite, too, but if the cashier doesn't respond, I don't stand there holding her hostage until she tells me about her day.

[42_42_42]

It wasn't until I was a freshman in college that it dawned on me that when 99% of people ask "How are you/How ya doin'/What's up/etc'" that they weren't ACTUALLY asking. Before that, I would always answer the question at face value, going into a detailed explanation of how my day was, or how I was feeling, etc, not with a simple "good, fine, not much, etc". Whenever I asked people the same question, I would be genuinely interested in the answer, otherwise I wouldn't ask it. Since that moment of insight, I've been able to participate in this (strange to me) social nicety without the awkwardness that would result from my previous mode of answering.

[EricKei]

I more have issue with the "how are you" if they really don't want to hear it.

To be fair, MANY places effectively force their EE's to say this. It's their way of making people Think We Care.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Plus, a lot of times, if I say "fine," they say stupid stuff like "Are you really fine?"

Fantasy reply; "If you prefer, I can be coarse."

[Food Lady]

Fantasy reply; "If you prefer, I can be coarse."

if only!

[Mike Taylor]

Fantasy reply; "If you prefer, I can be coarse."

Just remember to wear your Groucho glasses for maximum effect.

[dalesys]

Fantasy reply; "If you prefer, I can be coarse."

One from the files:

"Usually I'm a three-square bastard."

[thansal]

I have discovered the magic response:

"Well enough"

It's neutral (for those that don't care), it sounds positive, and if some one actually cares they can ask further.

I started using this when my last boss was causing me to be depressed constantly. It's hard to not make "fine" sound like "DIAF" when you really are not fine, but don't want to talk to people about it.

[houdini]

I find if I actually give a "proper" answer to a question like "how are you?", people then think I'm interested and launch into a detailed explanation of their latest woe and how their boyfriend is horrible today and their sandwich wasn't very nice and isn't that guy downstairs weird. Which to be honest, I'm not very interested in unless I know them and they're my friend, which is a rather select bunch.

In the UK it really is a social nicety, and most people understand if you say "good, thanks" and launch into what they're really there for...in my case, doling out library books. If you're actually interested in someone, you ask in a different way.

Humans is weird.