I hate to be asked for "just a regular burger." I know our menu is fiendeshly confusing and you can't be bothered with these new-fangled bells and whistles, but "just a regular burger" means nothing to me. When you ask for a regular burger I have to ask three questions, and you'll get more and more fed up with me as I ask them. Here's a typical exchange, identical to one I had yesterday with an old man.
"I just want a regular burger."
"Okay. Do you want cheddar on that?"*
"I just want a regular burger." (They never say "yes" or "no." They always just repeat themselves.)
"Do you want everything on that? Lettuce, tomato, onion—"
"I just want a regular burger." (At this point we've established that "regular burger" means plain meat and bun.)
Here's the last question, I always get burnt on this one, the response to this question is always unpleasant and so are the consequences should I forget to ask: "Would you like fries with that?"
"I JUST WANT A REGULAR BURGER!"
That's it. That's always how it goes with the regular burger people. And of course shortly after I serve them their regular burgers, they say, "Look, if you're going to charge 3.95 for these things then you'd better put pickles on them." Because I'm fearless, I occasionally respond, "Well, you could have told me what you wanted." And then they say, "I told you I wanted a regular burger."
*Occasionally the response to, "Do you want cheddar on that?" is "Don't you have American cheese?**" when I say no, they sometimes follow with, "We live in America, you know."
**Not cheese. Plus it always goes runny when we put it on the burgers.
"I just want a regular burger."
"Okay. Do you want cheddar on that?"*
"I just want a regular burger." (They never say "yes" or "no." They always just repeat themselves.)
"Do you want everything on that? Lettuce, tomato, onion—"
"I just want a regular burger." (At this point we've established that "regular burger" means plain meat and bun.)
Here's the last question, I always get burnt on this one, the response to this question is always unpleasant and so are the consequences should I forget to ask: "Would you like fries with that?"
"I JUST WANT A REGULAR BURGER!"
That's it. That's always how it goes with the regular burger people. And of course shortly after I serve them their regular burgers, they say, "Look, if you're going to charge 3.95 for these things then you'd better put pickles on them." Because I'm fearless, I occasionally respond, "Well, you could have told me what you wanted." And then they say, "I told you I wanted a regular burger."
*Occasionally the response to, "Do you want cheddar on that?" is "Don't you have American cheese?**" when I say no, they sometimes follow with, "We live in America, you know."
**Not cheese. Plus it always goes runny when we put it on the burgers.
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