Yeah... no less than three stories that involve half naked people from today...
Short story the first:
Found out one of my coworkers does porn. The person who told me was talking in a kind of , "Isn't that some good, ho-made gossip?"-y tone. I say, good on coworker, if she enjoys it, who cares what she does.
Short story the second:
Before I was even on shift, four... I wanna say, high school? guys walked in, followed by three girls. The guys were all wearing shoes, shorts, and backpacks. No shirts. Yeah, luckily, they were nice and trim so I had something to ogle...
Medium story the first:
Three kids in a UScan line today, the youngest suddenly decides this is the perfect time to pants his brother. I catch a brief glimpse of gray boxer clad ass...
Older bro says, "Hey, that's like public nudity!"
I blurt, "Not really, no... but it was indecent..."
"Yeah!"
Youngest wanders around the UScan and pantses his brother AGAIN!
Medium story the second:
Guy comes in around 11PM and tries to buy a beer. No biggie, he looks to be old enough, so I clear his age verification.
He turns to me and says, "I need to show you my ID?"
"No, I cleared you already..."
Guy goes back to his purchase, and struggles for about five minutes, then suddenly picks up his beer and says, "I thought you said I was approved?"
"Ah, no, I said I cleared your ID, you've only managed to pay 25 cents on a 4.05 charge."
"Oh..."
And I watch him rack up no less than five insufficient funds errors before he just suddenly turns and walks out without a word, leaving me with a line and no idea if he's coming back... so, I set him a short time limit, in case he just went out to his car to get cash or something... five minutes later, he hasn't returned, so I void the transaction.
Short story the third:
I called the night manager at one point to have him call me to verify something... someone calls me right back.
J: "Hello?"
N: "No!"
J: "You're not T..."
N: "Oh, you called T? I could've sworn you said N."
J: "Oh, my, T, your voice is so soft and supple..."
Medium story the third:
(I'm Hen-ery the Eighth I AM!)
So, I make my three closing calls, 15 minutes till close, 10 minutes, then 5, and I see the tail end of my last two customers, finish up my paperwork, and clock out, call a night manager up to walk me out, and I'm out the door and on the way to my car when the manager suddenly says, "There's another customer in the store!"
I just kind of turn and stare at him, like he just said Cthulu himself had risen from the depths... "Too bad, I'm logged out and the system won't let me back in."
"Can you come back in and let him know?"
No, I"m off the clock... "Okay..." I walk back in and the guy is actually standing by the UScan banks, just kind of staring at them. "I'm sorry, sir, but the registers are closed, and I'm off the clock, I can't sell you anything now."
"I can just check myself out, right?"
"No, that would require that I be clocked in, with a register open. We closed five minutes ago, I made three calls to get everyone up front..."
"I didn't hear anything..."
"Doesn't change the fact that I DID make those calls, and I STILL can't log back in to let you check out."
"So, I have to go put this stuff away?"
"No, we can have someone do it for you, or we could put it in the freezer to keep it cold until tomorrow, when you can come in and buy it then...?"
Guy walks out, muttering, "This is ridiculous!"
Only if you have your head so far up your own ass that you can't hear other people making store wide announcements...
Short story the first:
Found out one of my coworkers does porn. The person who told me was talking in a kind of , "Isn't that some good, ho-made gossip?"-y tone. I say, good on coworker, if she enjoys it, who cares what she does.
Short story the second:
Before I was even on shift, four... I wanna say, high school? guys walked in, followed by three girls. The guys were all wearing shoes, shorts, and backpacks. No shirts. Yeah, luckily, they were nice and trim so I had something to ogle...
Medium story the first:
Three kids in a UScan line today, the youngest suddenly decides this is the perfect time to pants his brother. I catch a brief glimpse of gray boxer clad ass...
Older bro says, "Hey, that's like public nudity!"
I blurt, "Not really, no... but it was indecent..."
"Yeah!"
Youngest wanders around the UScan and pantses his brother AGAIN!
Medium story the second:
Guy comes in around 11PM and tries to buy a beer. No biggie, he looks to be old enough, so I clear his age verification.
He turns to me and says, "I need to show you my ID?"
"No, I cleared you already..."
Guy goes back to his purchase, and struggles for about five minutes, then suddenly picks up his beer and says, "I thought you said I was approved?"
"Ah, no, I said I cleared your ID, you've only managed to pay 25 cents on a 4.05 charge."
"Oh..."
And I watch him rack up no less than five insufficient funds errors before he just suddenly turns and walks out without a word, leaving me with a line and no idea if he's coming back... so, I set him a short time limit, in case he just went out to his car to get cash or something... five minutes later, he hasn't returned, so I void the transaction.
Short story the third:
I called the night manager at one point to have him call me to verify something... someone calls me right back.
J: "Hello?"
N: "No!"
J: "You're not T..."
N: "Oh, you called T? I could've sworn you said N."
J: "Oh, my, T, your voice is so soft and supple..."
Medium story the third:
(I'm Hen-ery the Eighth I AM!)
So, I make my three closing calls, 15 minutes till close, 10 minutes, then 5, and I see the tail end of my last two customers, finish up my paperwork, and clock out, call a night manager up to walk me out, and I'm out the door and on the way to my car when the manager suddenly says, "There's another customer in the store!"
I just kind of turn and stare at him, like he just said Cthulu himself had risen from the depths... "Too bad, I'm logged out and the system won't let me back in."
"Can you come back in and let him know?"
No, I"m off the clock... "Okay..." I walk back in and the guy is actually standing by the UScan banks, just kind of staring at them. "I'm sorry, sir, but the registers are closed, and I'm off the clock, I can't sell you anything now."
"I can just check myself out, right?"
"No, that would require that I be clocked in, with a register open. We closed five minutes ago, I made three calls to get everyone up front..."
"I didn't hear anything..."
"Doesn't change the fact that I DID make those calls, and I STILL can't log back in to let you check out."
"So, I have to go put this stuff away?"
"No, we can have someone do it for you, or we could put it in the freezer to keep it cold until tomorrow, when you can come in and buy it then...?"
Guy walks out, muttering, "This is ridiculous!"
Only if you have your head so far up your own ass that you can't hear other people making store wide announcements...
Comment