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So as I said in my intro- I was head bouncer at a bar for a couple of years before taking my current job as a phone jockey – this story is worth telling.----
As I walked up to the door of the bar to start my security shift I noticed the boss’ beautiful new pristine Mercedes convertible sports coupe double-parked behind and perpendicular to the cars in the bar’s lot. This was a common occurrence as my boss was usually in and out so frequently and our lot was always full- It meant customers trying to leave had to ask security to move this Mercedes just to go home, it was a great way of creating SCs out of normal, decent people and I hated it.
I went inside and walked around to survey the crowd like any other night, I noticed a girl who looked nothing like anyone else there: she was a skinny little 5’6” 100 pound thing- very pretty, most of all she looked very young-like 16 or 17. So I approached her and apologetically asked to see her ID.
She protested but I wasn’t going to give up, the more someone hesitates the more suspicious I am anyway- so she finally pulled it out---
This was the worst ID borrowing trick I had ever SEEN! The ID was for a person who was 24 years old and looked it, 5 foot 10 (my height) and almost 200 pounds. When I asked the girl about it she said that- “not that it was any of my business” -but she had lied about her height at the DMV so she could get into American Idol and she lost all that weight to be a model and she was REALLY upset that I was wasting her time and embarrassing her!
So just because she was protesting I gave it another go- I put her ID in my pocket and had her sign her name three times so I could compare the new signatures with the one on the ID. She expressed to me exactly how stupid she thought this all was, but still signed the paper- What she wrote on that paper looked like “Nnnnnnnn” in cursive- not someone’s name. I held the ID and got a manager, the girl looked over at my other guard and said “I’m in deep Sh** now aren’t I?”
Our boss took her to the back and talked to her, decided to let her go (rather than have police cars out front). The girl confessed the ID was her cousin’s and I think I kept it. Anyway so here’s the fun part:
The girl finally got in her car to leave- a really nice pearly white Lexus sedan with gold trim, I swear the license plate said something like “SUPAFLY”, anyway in her panic to flee she proceeded to floor it in reverse without looking - you guessed it-right smack into the passenger door of the boss’ new Mercedes convertible which of course was perfectly parked behind her car- CRUNCH!
The worst part is the boss couldn’t do anything about it because the underage girl was illegally under the influence of OUR alcohol and the boss had just let her go! I think it just goes to show- no matter how rich you are, no matter if you “own the place”, double parking makes you a D*CK and you’ll get what you deserve!
As I walked up to the door of the bar to start my security shift I noticed the boss’ beautiful new pristine Mercedes convertible sports coupe double-parked behind and perpendicular to the cars in the bar’s lot. This was a common occurrence as my boss was usually in and out so frequently and our lot was always full- It meant customers trying to leave had to ask security to move this Mercedes just to go home, it was a great way of creating SCs out of normal, decent people and I hated it.
I went inside and walked around to survey the crowd like any other night, I noticed a girl who looked nothing like anyone else there: she was a skinny little 5’6” 100 pound thing- very pretty, most of all she looked very young-like 16 or 17. So I approached her and apologetically asked to see her ID.
She protested but I wasn’t going to give up, the more someone hesitates the more suspicious I am anyway- so she finally pulled it out---
This was the worst ID borrowing trick I had ever SEEN! The ID was for a person who was 24 years old and looked it, 5 foot 10 (my height) and almost 200 pounds. When I asked the girl about it she said that- “not that it was any of my business” -but she had lied about her height at the DMV so she could get into American Idol and she lost all that weight to be a model and she was REALLY upset that I was wasting her time and embarrassing her!So just because she was protesting I gave it another go- I put her ID in my pocket and had her sign her name three times so I could compare the new signatures with the one on the ID. She expressed to me exactly how stupid she thought this all was, but still signed the paper- What she wrote on that paper looked like “Nnnnnnnn” in cursive- not someone’s name. I held the ID and got a manager, the girl looked over at my other guard and said “I’m in deep Sh** now aren’t I?”
Our boss took her to the back and talked to her, decided to let her go (rather than have police cars out front). The girl confessed the ID was her cousin’s and I think I kept it. Anyway so here’s the fun part:
The girl finally got in her car to leave- a really nice pearly white Lexus sedan with gold trim, I swear the license plate said something like “SUPAFLY”, anyway in her panic to flee she proceeded to floor it in reverse without looking - you guessed it-right smack into the passenger door of the boss’ new Mercedes convertible which of course was perfectly parked behind her car- CRUNCH!
The worst part is the boss couldn’t do anything about it because the underage girl was illegally under the influence of OUR alcohol and the boss had just let her go! I think it just goes to show- no matter how rich you are, no matter if you “own the place”, double parking makes you a D*CK and you’ll get what you deserve!
I would've been expecting her to pull the old, "Do you know who I am!?" line on you.
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